Right, I've started uni just a week ago, the nights are brilliant but there are a few things absolutely driving me nuts

My SPAM are assholes.

One is behaving like my mother, another guy just keeps on dragging his stupid friends who then play guitar at 4AM, bang at my door and some other totally annoying stuff.

Today I was out in a club, where they were too, midway through they picked me up and raised on their hands, tried to DLV me I guess, so I played it positively as I'm enjoying it and stuff, but still...

Another major thing, I've made friends with this other guy, who is allright, but then.
Well basically when we first met, we were talking what courses we do, and he mentioned he's doing medicine, and is going to do autopsy, which he hates apparently, and I just said like a btw, I would love to do autopsy, just to have a look how the body works, and by the end of the first night, I was labelled a rapist, and it stuck...
and it sucks hard, because he keeps on bringing it up WHEREVER we are, I'm trying to pick up this girl on street, he comes and starts talking how I rape people, how insane I am, and tells absolutely everyone, so my reputation in the whole of the hall where I live is ruined.

I've tried many antiamog techniques, they don't seem to work, it just keeps on getting worse and worse, and I am fu***ng desperate, since I'll have to stick with these people for a year.

I even tried to game this one girl that was giving me IOIs on the dancefloor, but when I went for the Kclose, she pulled away(not showed her cheek, just took a few steps back) and said something on the lines of I don't kiss rapists or something like that...

Please guys, I'd like a lot of help on this one.

Cheers

So please guys

Play anything off in a smiley way , i get so much shit about "being gay" and most of the time i play it off by either making the guy who said it very unconfortable by hitting on him ect ect. All the girls know im straight theres no doubt and they love me but the guys get jealous of your game and try to ruin it. Chump move bring it up with the guys make fun of em for it ect ect. Play along with the rapist thing with a very playful way dont deny it wont go over very well with the girl, she wont know what to believe (she basically knows you arent a rapist its a just a shit test which your bros helped her brg into the set lol)

I dont know jealousy is a fine thing i kinda enjoy seeing it in other guys find your self a beauty and rub it in all their faces they'll love you even more.

bam,

Playing the cute gay guy is very different from being physically manhandled and being labeled a rapist. There is absolutely nothing playful about "rape". There is no segway or bridge to make this topic fun. There should be no smileys or ha ha's at all with this topic. Reading the op actually pissed me off a bit. Nobody should have to deal with this crap but what the hell, kids are kids . . .

Lordica . . . something's gone terribly wrong and I feel for you. Look . . . I'm going to freely admit that I was a bit of an ass when I was younger and I still remember giving some guys plenty of hell. I still think about it to this day and think, "Why the hell did I do all that?" I mean . . . I think I understand it from a psychological point of view but I just can't believe all the energy I wasted on making some other people feel so terrible.

Well, here's the scoop. First, don't take this personally. You've somehow framed your social reality with these guys to "allow" them to be assholes to you. I bet they don't even treat REAL ASSHOLES the way they treat you. This is very important. If you take this personally, you won't be able to treat this situation as a game. . . . because that's exactly what this is. Just as if you're gaming hb's who are shit testing you, you're going to have to stand your ground and PLAY THIS GAME.

Next, you're going to have to accept that there is no simple amog strategy out of this. No one liners like, "Stop it!", "You're being an asshole!" is going to work. If the whole flat is ganging up on you, there is a strong possibility that you have unconsciously stuck a “pick on me” sticker on your forehead. I’ve noticed through my experiences with various social circles that guys who get picked on, get picked on no matter where they go, no matter who they’re with.

So . . . I think there are two strategies we need to work on here. 1st is a “self game”. (How do you improve yourself so that you’re not a target to ANYBODY)

2nd, how do you deal with these inadequate losers in your flat?

I. Self Game.

1. Start hitting the gym. I have no idea what you look like. But if those guys are picking you up and they’re not Olympic Greco Roman Wrestlers, you obviously don’t make a physical impression. They’ve identified you as an easy “physical target”. You don’t have to look like a body builder but you shouldn’t look like a dweeb. Have you ever seen a strong looking dude get picked on?

This is something you can do in your spare time. 3 times a week, 40 minutes a time. In 2 months, you will notice a difference and this will drastically improve your game with the girls both mentally and physically . . . (I was once a university level athletics coach. PM me if you want tips on how to start)


2. You need to find some hobbies and talents that are uniquely yours. Your flat mates play guitar and etc . . . You need to find a talent of yours that transcends stupid labels. You ever hear of a dweeb who kicks ass on the guitar? You ever hear of a kick ass surfer who’s a dweeb? If you already have a talent, you have to showcase it. . . be proud of it.

3. Look respectable. Ever wonder why you see a guy in a suit and you think, "Mr." or "Sir"? It makes a difference. Get rid of any "tourist T shirts". Get rid of any clownish shit. Wear rich, solid, strong colors. Guys don't think this makes a difference but it makes a HUGE difference. Bouncers wear certain clothes so they DON'T have to get into fights.

II. Dealing With The Inadequate Needle Dicks.

1. STOP HANGING OUT with them for now. They need you to play the part of the “victim” in order to fulfill their needs to pick on some one. For now, avoid events and places where it’s conducive for them to pick on you for some dumb ass show and instead, hit the gym, work on your hobbies, etc . .

These guys need you to be around as much as you think you need to “hang out” with these guys. They pick on you, yet you still tag along. In the Pick Up game, HB's lead us along with their shit tests and most AFC's continue to call them and shower them with attention. You have to STOP being an AFC with your flat mates.

You should have a list of fun shit that you do. So it goes something like:

They say, "Hey, we're going to _____."

You say, "Cool, but I'm going to the gym."

They'll say, "What? You working out? Blah blah blah . . ." (Translation: We have very small dicks)

You laugh and say, "See ya . . ."

You see where we're going with this? This is the game you should have for HB's and this is the game you should be playing on your flat mates . . .

Concentrate on yourself. Work on yourself. Remember, you're the prize to girls and you are the leader of men but you haven't been able convince these guys yet. it'll take time. Have patience. Don't make it seem like you're "avoiding" them. You simply have too many more important things to do.

2. Continue to SARGE. You're hitting the gym so you'll find girls there. Do the yoga classes. Do the spin classes. Go to the museum EVERY sunday afternoon. Go to book stores. Go FIND THE WOMEN. Let your friends play out the fraternity gig at the bars. You already know the limitations of their game. 1. Drink. 2. Growl. 3. Pick on some guys. 4. Maybe get lucky but probably not so go back home to play guitar at 4 am. (This was NEVER your goal anyways. Stop leaning on your dorky friends) YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED THEM.

Now let me tell you what #2 above achieves. Take the sarging 1 step at a time. Build rapport. Look, you're going to the gym over, over, and over again so you don't need to rush. Flirt, flirt, flirt. #close . . . email close . . .

1 month later, your flat mates go, "Hey, we're going to _____."

Now you say, "Oh dude, I'm going to ____ Cafe with Catherine." . . . "I'm seeing a movie with Angela." . . . . "Chrissy invited me to her party . . ."

Now see where we're going with this? Hey, you're hanging out with chicks all the time, while they're going to bars to sing fraternity songs and guzzle beer, only to come home late night to play guitar at 4am. How long do you think it will be until they go, "Yo Lordica? Eh . . . so, what are you up to this weekend?" ---- Hey, go up to the mirror and take a good look. Tell yourself, "I'm a leader of men . . ."

Take your time, don't take it personally, work on yourself, and you will absolutely see a shift in social dynamics around your flat. . . but if you don't take this shit seriously now and grab your life by the HORNS, this could be a very miserable life for you. It's all within your control.

Just go out and sarge at places that they are not. If they are going to a certain club just sarge at a different place.
I am in pretty much the same position as you but i just pretended as if i really didn't give a shit and just went on with my life. If you keep giving people the impression that it hurts you they are going to keep saying it.

Just make sure when you sarge none of your asshole friends are around so they can't interrupt and start calling you a rapist.

kasabi> I can't thank you enough when this works out for me

(copied your post and saved it on my PC!)

Well, I guess you've got 3 choices.

1. AFC
2. Play it off for laughs, though it's not a very cool topic and can easily offend.
3. Violence against the guy who said the rapist remark. I'm hoping you're bigger than him, and if not, i dunno take some boxing classes. That's the sort of shit you shouldn't have to put up with. Not cool at all.

The only reason i was saying to play it off with smiles and laughs is that basically they get bored of doing it if they cannot get a good reaction or outcome out of it.

Of course the rapist thing should be dealt with differently i would of probably layed him out right then and there. I thought it was more fun and games and if it actually hurts you and bothers you a lot talk to the guy and avoid him.

Sorry if it came off as insincere or that i was laughing at you or something that was not my intention. I was just throwing out ideas on how i would deal with it.

bam>no worries, i got what you were saying, unfortunately I've been trying that already, without success, so I'll be improving myself now, like kasabi suggested

This is kinda what uni is like, just get on with the guys and I'm sure they will get ripped for stuff aswell. Thats how things are in my experience. You should see the comments and things like when a girl says she has a bf in a set, just like ok and carry on.

Lordica,

That's a great fucking statement. This isn't about any particular "improvement" nor is it something to "look into . . .". This is an ongoing adventure that MUST begin NOW and you seem to understand this. Write up a schedule and put it into a calender. Every time you make a check mark on a task, you're improving. Every time you boldly state, "Guys go ahead, I'm hitting the gym," you're improving. Every time you approach a set, sign up for a class, work on yourself, etc . . . you're improving.

Constantly improving IS in fact the finish line. Dude, pedal to the metal. It's cool to hear that you're shifting into overdrive.

You live with these guys???

First off, they are not your friends. In addition to kasabi's advice, which is great advice, I would seriously be looking to move out. In the meantime, I would be building up friends and networks, not just with HB's, but with other guys as well. Friends might tease, but they respect you and dont go out of their way to fuck you up.

That guy with the rapist comments? Seriously, if it was me, I would break his fucking nose. But turn it back on him... If he does it in front of a cute girl, or somebody you both respect, just harrangue him with the straight up truth about what he is doing, why he is doing it, and how it makes him into a serious loser who wont have any friends at at all in a long time. Trick here is to be utterly condemning and entirely confident. He IS a loser. You ARE a nice guy, who happens to stand his ground and say it like it is. Laugh at him. DO NOT be defensive... you aren't defending yourself, you are attacking him for being a total piece of shit. And that's how other's will see him, and how he will see himself, if you pull it off right.

^
works well too, it also makes him feel really uncomfortable. I usually jus ignore him/ brush him off (put myself on a higher frame, hes not worth my time) or ask why hes such a loser. If your not reactive he'll move on (sometimes bullies would come 2 me 2 befriend me lol)

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Help always welcomed