Ok folks,
After doin some hefty reading and applying certain theories, routines etc.. to my own past life experience, most, (if not everything) in here makes pretty clear sense. I can see how the way I have acted has gotten me some quick action and some quick failures.

Here's my Sitch -
I've been friends with this HB9 for about 8-9years..In that time, we've got down a couple times, (yeah that long and only a couple times) but nothing ever materialized afterwards.. Ie.. statements of regret etc..nothing harsh though... but at the same time I hear how amazing it was to sleep with me. I don't hear this once or twice but several times.

She has a BF right now, and I have waited out a couple, and what I think my main mistake was in the past, I said how I felt instead of showing her.

Now the BF she has now is an OK dude, kinda needs to get his shit in order, but at the same time she tells me how her entire family says she shoulda picked me, (75-80% of the times we hang out) and we kidd back and forth about gettin married and how her current BF is jealous and refers to me as her husband.

Sounds like complete friendzone material I know, but at the same time she's insinuating that she would like nothing more than for us to get together and please eachother...

Am I interpreting this all wrong? Am I one of her girlfriends? Then why bother telling me about what her family says about us and how good I was in bed and how amazing it was?

If it's not a lost cause, then what's my next step from here?
Don't get me wrong, I don't have one-itis, but everyone has their unicorn.

Cheers! any advice would help !
- Oliver!

if you want the relationship you're best is to ignore her completely for a month or two. Make her realize she made the wrong choice than come running back to you.

_________________
I live the life I want to live, but I will not pass when an opportunity presents itself.

Haha!. Funny you should mention that..
I tend to do this anyways... Not out of spite, or the fact that I want her to come running back, but for the sheer fact I'm a busy guy, she, a busy girl.

The funny part though, is that she is most of the time (pretty much all of the time) the one calling my phone and initiating a reconnect and not the other way around.

To me it seems as if she's searching for that perfect excuse to drop the relationship she's got and rationalize the decision in her head to get with me.

She will constantly say negative things about her BF when we hang out, (not whiny complain like if she was with a GF) and I try not to engage the conversation (to avoid the being the listening GF). But she is verbally weighing the pros and cons of being with him versus me.

so confused and it seems like she is too..
What can I do to help her realize what she would have with me.. Keeping in mind we're way past the discovery stage of our trial, we're well into expert testimony.. haha..

-Oliver

Lotsa views? but no thoughts? Anyone come across this scenario?
I am dumbfounded.

Any experienced PUA's that can lend a helping hand?

Cheers!
Oliver!

im no expert, but have you done or said anything to her that youd like to get somethin going with her?

cus right now comming from her it sounds like she wants to drop the bf, but isnt quite sure if something would happen with you. And if nothing is gunna happen with you then why drop an ok dude.

I agree with this post. I think you need to be more direct and tell her you want something with her. or show her that you want something to happen

_________________
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

I have expressed interest in the past, but not lately...
I try to respect the position she is in with the BF.

It could be one of 3 things that are her motivation for the gratuitous comments I'm thinking.

1 - her own ego. ( I really doubt this )

2 - her timing for me finally right ( she might have actually put some serious thought into this and is testing the waters )

or

3 - she actually has no genuine interest and is only repeating herself to feel validated and valued.

I need a routine that will serve as somewhat of a litmus test. I've known her for a while, so if I make any huge sudden movements I'm sure to scare her off, plus, we're both pretty loyal and not the types to start anything when the other has something going on.

thanks!
-Oliver

Should I just initiate contact and start fresh?

Are there any rules of thumb to go by when trying this with someone you have had a pretty decent personal relationship with if she's throwing out all these comments?

Are IOI's different with a LT personal contact?

This is kinda of a tricky situation because, yeah while at this point she is with this boyfriend. By what you are saying this girl is very confused, and is in obvious need of reassurance. But if you offer her that, then it adds the possible situation that she knows your their when she needs you and will try to ride it out with the "ok" dude to see if it has potential.

I would listen to what she is saying. And try repeating to her. (DUH, common sense-not really). Tell her your life perspectives are changing and that you are starting to see things differently.( if shes says her bf boring), your start talking about how intresting life is). If she says her bf is not spotaneous enough, start talking about all the spontaneous stuff you've done. This should be done indirectly, in the sense that your not trying to impress or wanting her back, that this is just who are now, and that you bettering yourself. And if she wants she can be a part of it while she has a chance or your going to just a chick to be spontaneous and have an intresting life with.....


Basically what im saying is she is complaining because she wants to be heard, and she needs some sort of support because she is not getting it for her BF. Dont fill that void for her. Make it realize how that void can be fill if she is with you.

she wants you but she's with that guy for some reason...

what sort of communication do you have? was it just sex when you did it... or did you have some deep comfort and rapport as well...

there's something she doesn't like about you and you have to find out what and fix it if you want her as your wife or anything...

because 8-9 fucking years is a long time... you should've known more about what she wants in a man... by now...

if you just want another fuck and not more... do the same as before...

cheers!

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dude if i want to get a point across but i dont want to be freakin blunt about it, it start by jokeing about it, and turn it into an inside joke between me n her.
Say you are her new husband and youve decided to take her on her hunnymoon to whereeverthefuck and youre going to make sweet passionate love for her(push), and then say something like how thats never gunna happen for some reason, or even walk away with another girl(pull).
and then then next time you see her bring up the joke, and treat her like anyother girl you're about the kiss and then dont, have huge eye contact and play the joke as much as you want. Treat the joke as fact.
After a bit then you question her on this fact, what if we accually were?:P blah blah blah wed have such amazing sex, too bad:P
and then act on it, sneak in a kiss, if at anytime you have massive doubts before this then you probly wont go for it here.
You have an excuse saying you got caught up in the moment if shes freakin out about how her crappy current bf is gunna act. And if she kisses you back then there ya go dude.

Hey Guys,
Thanks for the advice! My goals in the meantime --- I'm going to field test a push pull with her tomorrow, get some good kinno going, then triangle look the shit out of her and deny.

I know why she's with the current BF and it's because he's a walking C&F routine, whereas I try to be more slick and witty (think RDJ in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

When it comes down to it, the current can't cut it, and honestly, the first time I met the guy, I spent the night on the dance floor with her while he sat and watched.

Wish me luck!

-Oliver!