ok so...when i travel out of the state or country or something and get with a new group I make tons of friends really fast and always have someone to hang out with, and girls get attached really fast, I get calls and emails months after we've parted. I don't really get nervous, in fact I think I'm the most cool and composed person I know. but when i go back to high school it just seems impossible. People like me but no one is a very close friend. I don't get invited to parties unless its one of those where almost everyone has been invited, don't got anyone to hang with after school to do hw or something, no sleepovers, nothing, despite my making a conscious effort to get close to people. Ppl like and respect me, and thats it. I'm new, so idk if its just cliques or something wrong with me, but the other new ppl dont seem to have this problem. I'm not shy, but I can be overly chill and distant. I guess by the force of habit. Outside of school there are more chances to have deep conversations with people, and thats when they get close to me, but at school I can't seem to get to that point with anyone, male or female. I've had many problems in the past that might have made me like this, but I think I've dealt with all the other internal issues and once I get rid of this last remnant of them, I won't have any more problems. I'm good looking (girls do hit on me until my lack of some essential quality appears), smart, and I just really want to fix this problem, especially before I go to college. Actually I doubt I'll have this problem in college, since I don't have it when I travel, but I want to avoid falling into whatever pitfall i've fallen into at home. Suggestions?

Its high school. High school is too small where everyone knows everyone. Probably half the people grew up together and have established cliques. I guarantee you that you wont have the same problem in college. However, I would say the best thing to do is to join a club/sport.

_________________
"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

im in varsity soccer, its not like i have no life but it doesnt help much in this respect we just all go home after practice, sometimes out to eat, etc. I mean I would join something that requires more interaction but i rly have no time, i go to a rly hard school...
but the issue with what you said is how do I insure i don't get left out of the cliques in college? I'm not THAT new, i've been their 3 years, and I can see other newer people definately don't have this issue.

First question, are you an interesting person? Basically when people are talking to you they enjoy it and prefer to stay and chat with you.

Secondly it seems to me that although you might be popular you don't really have a group to relate with, you might want to try and be more forward and approach people yourself with invitation to study together, go out or have parties.

High school is hard when you come in new, people have been together since grade 7 its hard to push your way into the groups. Make a concious effort to always appear happy, Dhv with the groups. Dont control frames as much is what i found in high school, compliments also go a long way people dont pick up on it as much in high school.

Imo high school is just afc game and thats how its gota be played, only use pua stuff when you isolate.

I dont know just live it up in high school as much as you can dont focus on getting laid its not important thats not what your going to be remebering 10 years from now.

Wow i get so off topic when i respond ... cant study and write these at the same time. Sorry!

The best business advice I have ever been given by a former boss was
"Dont be afraid to ask for what you want or you will never get it"
I could tell when he told me it was from painful years of experience regretting he never made a bigger effort to go after what he wanted.

You want to hang out with these folks go to parties? Do you want a girlfriend? They like you as you said. You would know. I have moved plenty of times in my life infact I just moved recently and have had to make all new friends. Its a block in your head they are in their comfort zone its you that out of place. My friends used to ask me why I didnt invite them to this party of that party... I never invited any friends to any party ever. People dont make lists invite yourself.

Thats good advice trickey. I don't really want to be the stranger that crashes the parties of close friends but I guess if I don't I'll stay the stranger forever.

To answer Devilution, I'm actually very boring until someone has a deep conversation with me. I'm bad at smalltalk and flirting, I don't like to say meaningless things, and when I try it doesn't go over well.

I'm not sure what dhv and controlling frames means bambam but people at my high school are pretty mature. Its a rich private school, most people have big houses and nice cars, and I think when your life is virtually devoid of problems its easier to grow with respect to social skills. Not like me unfortunately, I get to be the immigrant who traveled across the country and changed schools with every job change and pay raise my parents got . I'm not even trying to get laid, I have absolutely no interest in getting laid just to say I did it, I believe thats something that should happen naturally. But I'm pretty sure I'd remember something like that.

oh and cranberry I already do sooo many of those things, but since no one knows it I get no benefit except my own personal enjoyment... I'd probably even get into a better college if only there was a way of showing these random things.

wow this sounds like i wrote it. I am the exact same way bro. In my hometown i am looked at as that shy guy but when i go anywhere else i am practically like the coolest guy in the world to everyone else i get a lot of attention. i am starting to get known more in my hometown since i started this pua thing couple months ago but still people see me as that shy/quite guy. im pretty sure in a couple of months i will start to have a better reputation because i am throwing a huge party and inviting all the people i have met from my travels because i do travel a lot and inviting people that i kind of know from my hometown so they well know !!!

2 years ago i was the biggest geek in school but then i realized that i had this talent of making people laugh. People started to realize this and now i am like the 2nd most popular person in my school.
You have to give people a reason to like you. Learn some kind of talent. Learn some magic tricks or something else.

It helps a lot trust me.