ok so this is sort of a long post...next time i will put the actual conversation

so there is this girl who i met at a party. she talked to me the entire party almost although i was concentrating on another girl at the time. the next day she had found my screenname on myspace and IMed me. i talked to her for alittle while but nothing interesting. Then about a week later she asked me to be her date to a wedding. now this sounded like it would be pretty exciting however i wasnt going to be in town for the wedding so i had to turn her down. she IMs me again a few days later at like 1am. shesays she is slightly drunk and starts the conversation off by telling me she is a little dissapointed in me for not going to the wedding. ok so here is the reason i am posting this thread. i have been sort of easing into this persona with her but time i really embrassed it. i guess it was easy because i viewed it as me running a test to see if that method worked or not...and since i didnt perticularly care how it turned out in this instance i just ran with it. So i act like we are dating the whole time and like we have known eachother for a long while even though i have only seen her once. This girl is the type that is very motivated and has strong opinions, a conservative sorority girl that is in med school.

anyhow, i couldnt help but feel like i was being an asshole the entire time and that i was going to push her away. She starts talking to me about how she loves her pajamas. I tell her that i like to sleep naked. this launches into a conversation about how men are like portable heaters (in her opinion)and thats why they dont wear clothing to sleep. i make some remark about how i would help her keep warm at night (this is the sort of thing i have taken to doing because i find it funny...though i worry that they just find me being overly assertive)...after a little while i tell her that i will make it up to her for me missing the wedding by taking her out to dance sometime. well at this point she starts telling me about how she is the type of girl that only "talks" to one guy at a time, and currently she is sort of talking to some guy that is in a different state, but that she wasnt sure sure about him.

i start trying to find reasons for her to break up with the guy. i ask her about him and then make fun of him and tell her she needs someone who will be able to keep up a conversation.

to this she responds that it makes sense for me to say that because i want to date her and so i have alot to gain from her breaking up with him and nothing to lose otherwise.

so i decide to play it cool here and try ot make her backpeddle a little bit and work for my attention or time by saying "why would i want to date you" (by doing this i was hoping that she would try to prove herself to me and make it seem like she needed to pull herself up to my level)
unfortunately her responce was "guess you dont then" this caught me off guard. i back peddled. and about 30 seconds after that she said she had to get off and go to bed.

if anyone has actually read this whole thing, do you have any suggestions on how to fix this approach? or should i just drop it?

what up mad gecko

imthinking that this broad is reversing roles on your, whereas you were trying to get her to work for you and she reversed it making you work for her. (i could be wrong but this is what im thinking)

like you said she is tlkaing to some guy in another state right.. is this other dude a bf or close friend whats his deal? maybe your wording was a little off... instead of saying "why would i want to date you" maybe you should have said "what makes you think i want to date you" because this approach makes it seem as if she got a wrong vibe and you still havent replied as to whether or not your interested, its just a general question towards her and her opinion.. you chose to say why would i want to date you.. lol
this sorta seems as if you arent interested in her at all sounding like an asshole thing to say. either way man shit happens.

maybe shes acting like shes not interested because she has that other guy to talk to and shes aspiring for something to happen between them. if thats the case you gotta step up your game and prove that your better than this other chump.. Or you can just forget about this broad if you can actually do that.

anwyays man, call her up get together and make a move, but dont ask her on a date or any of that bullshit. tell her its a get together or something and if shes interested she'll show some IOI's and then go for it.
-peace

that sounds good. i think you are right, i should watch what i say a little more carefully. luckily this situation just sort of fell into my lap and i dont realy care about it other than to gain experience so if it doesnt work out i wont be too upset. tahnks for the input. for future referance though, if the girl does try to reverse roles like that, or in other situations how do you change it back?

ok so long post again. i talked to her again tonight. i figured i would post the conversation because i like seeing examples so maybe this will be helpful...and i know you said not to ask her on a date but i figured we were talking about and it seemed like a good plan at the time. anyhow here is what happened:

me: hey
her: ?
me: haha that was a delayed response
her: i just got home
me: anyways, i wanted to say that i thought about what i said lastnight. you are right. i dont know the guy you are "talking" to, and i have no reason to talk badly about him. i think i may have sounded a little different than i had intended
me: but that being said, i am still willing to let you go out with me sometime while he isnt in town
her: lol
her: you are willing to let me go out with you
me: well if you have changed your mind thats fine. youre the one that asked me to the wedding though
her: wedding
her: not date
her: wedding
me: you sound like you are getting deffensive here
me: no not at all, just saying i never asked you out on a date
me: why havent you?
her: i don't ask boys out on dates
me: you dont?
me: why is that?
her: why would i?
her: i'm a girl, and i'm not ugly, not saying i'm perfect but i'm not ugly
me: oh so you are too good to ask a guy you like to go hang out with you
me: haha i see
her: no its just a thing
her: i'm kind of old fashioned
me: i can respect that
her: i don't call boys and i don'task them out
her: well i'll call them back
me: you do IM them however
her: that means nothing
me: so a phone call has alot of value to you
me: hmm
me: well
me: like i said
her: yeah, kind of like email compared to handwritten mail
me: id like to take you out sometime to make up missing the wedding
me: well go dancing or something
her: i think about it
me: oh you will
her: by the way
me: i feel so special
her: i give everyone a hard time
her:
me: oh i can tell
me: ill take that as a yes then
mei:
her: don't count your chickens
me: hey im taking you up on it
me: ill need your phone number however
her: hmmm... i'll get back to you on that one

*she puts up an away message*

me: ....could have at least said good night
her: buona notte
me: i guess that works


anyhow, this was me trying to get some sort of success out of that conversation. i was going for cocky funny. any comments or suggestions would be really helpful.

-Mad

some kind of success?? Sorry dude but she completely managed you, you had to backpedal like 2 or 3 times in the comunication.
Next time try not to leave you in so fragil position because you couldnt create enough attraction, she continue presenting resistance, she knows that she is the prize and not you.
If I were you I will probably neg her a couple of times, you showed too much interest too soon. But is a dificult situation to recover from, but that doesnt matter, its a great practice dealing with this kind of bitchy behaviour from girls.



ICE

you really tihnk i could push it more? i was afriad of me sounding like an asshole and her just saying fuck off. ill try harder next time though. thanks for the advice.

Dude...I have to be honset here.I think you really screwed up, without trying to sound funny.
You should read more stuff on C & F, like Ice says, she managed you.
But I know whats it's like when you can't come up with C&F stuff when you really need it, I used to have situations like that too.I dunno how you gonna get out of there, but you should really go for it.
Sometimes I get stuck and don't know what to say anymore and then I just screw it up even when it worked well for hours.

Good luck and try harder.Let us know how it went!!!

ok so i will make this post short.

i talked to hre on aim again. here is how it went:

me: you forgot to give me your number last time we spoke.
her: i didnt forget, i told you i would get back to you.
me: oh, well nevermind then. i dont have time for people that are on the fence.
her: im not on the fence, i just like to see people squirm.

what do i say to something like this?

we talk for awhile about nothing really interesting. then she says she has to go to bed and i tell her goodnight. a few minutes later she sends this last message:

her: side note : i have pre op on tuesday for my surgery the following week so i'll probably need some cheering up....if you can somehow find my number somewhere i just may pick up

do i call her?

ok so cliff notes on the situation:

the advice given here by everyone that commented was pretty much completely wrong. the girl didnt give me her number. she said to go find her at the bar she was going to. i went, i found her. she gave all sorts of IOIs and at the end kiss close. talked to her on aim later and she gave me her number without me asking.

PU rules and methods may work in general but guys dont believe in them too much. you see the people here that are much more experienced than me telling me i fucked up. i didnt. i was never in a bad position. i didnt really change anything. just follow your intuition.

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i dont know why i have these goggles.