Confused young woman looking for advice...?!



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 10:24 am 
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
Hi all,

I am 18, (and without meaning to sound conceited) beautiful 8-10, bubbly, genuine, mature, intelligent and have a great sense of humour.

BUT... when I go out to clubs/bars...NO men approach me or speak to me...?

I'd like to think it's because they are intimidated, but come on, there's got to be more to it...

i would love to hear your thoughts!

Cheers


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:06 am 
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"[...] beautiful 8-10, bubbly, genuine, mature, intelligent and have a great sense of humour.".

Maybe a photo could give a more precise idea.

Still, some possible problems:
- intimidating (like you said);
- you may seem dull;
- your attitude may send a "get the fuck away from me" message.

But, from your post, I understand that you're kind of frustrated by the fact that men don't approach you. And, since frustrated men are not attractive, why should frustrated women be? :)


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:30 am 
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Thanks for the feedback! However, i've never shown frustration while i'm out, it's only later on after i've left and i am reflecting on the night that the disappointment/frustration sets in so i don't think that's the problem.

it's not as if i am needy or searching for men while i'm out. i'm just out to have a good time and am friendly to people. I'm just suprised that no one seems to be approaching me!

p.s. will try to add a photo..


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 11:45 am 
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[quote="beautiful_stranger"].

it's not as if i am needy or searching for men while i'm out. i'm just out to have a good time and am friendly to people. I'm just suprised that no one seems to be approaching me!

..
[/quote

you have the right mindset righ tin this sentence. this is something that everyone should focus on doing! (except searching for chicks)

men / women are all attracted to people who are fun/ outgoing etc. This is a quality that can bring other people into your field.

but obviously we know nothing about you - this it is hard for us to address the issue.

the easy answer is that you are intimidating - but if the above quote is correct - then it contradicts each other.

there may be other reasons
1. your body language. is it closed off? defensive? etc
2. your group - is it open to others coming in?
3. are you smiling and appear to be like someone men would want to be with. what kind of aura are you giving off?
4. Confidence is a very atrtractive quality. Are you confident within your group and interacting wiyth people. This can even be spotted across the room!
5. melbourne is an interesting place - so diverse. are you going to places that attract the type of people you are after (ie. long room is classy, icon bar is fucking low brow !!)


Fuck me - this is hard trying to think from the other side of the coin...


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:20 pm 
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Have you joined this forum to get the male attention that you lack in bars or clubs? If you have fair play to you but it seems a little bit needy for an 8-10.

The girls I always find most attractive in bars and clubs are the ones smiling having a good time, because I know they are people I want to enjoy myself with. so my advice to you is focus on enjoying urself with your mates keep smiling and come across as fun....x


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:44 pm 
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hey thanks heaps for the feedback this is really helpful!

firstly, let me clarify i am not here to get attention! only answers... I have read "The Game" and that is what drew me to this forum, to get the inside view.

Having read the book I understand that some things work both ways. I avoid closed body language and stand tall and confidently, i smile naturally (as much as possible)...

the thing that confuses me is... im not even attracting any attention from anyone! not even sleazes or ugly people...??? im not being approached by anyone! i dont even get the opportunity to be fussy because there are no options presented to me...

maybe part of the problem is the venues i am going to?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:46 pm 
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maybe


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 6:03 pm 
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Have you tried approaching men directly?????


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 7:45 pm 
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Yea the direct approach.

If you really are good looking, hell even for that matter average not many men are going to push you away for approaching them.

When women open me I never reject them on the spot. They get points just for thinking outside the norm, having confidence, and being willing to risk rejection.

Its an idea. Else you can try different ways to make yourself more approachable. Isolate yourself for short periods near a guy you want to talk to. If you are really good looking, it might be that guys are afraid to approach you. Give them a reason to talk to you, then win them over by sending them IOI's.

Goodluck to you.

Oh if that doesn't work just hop a flight out here and Ill hook up with ya. :) To easy.


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 Post subject: hey
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 7:52 pm 
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Website: http://www.myspace.com/JERRYakaTHEtruth
AOL: jepisto16
Location: California, bay area Fremont
let me know where u locate, and I ll go approach you . lol



Magic J .


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 3:04 am 
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haha, yeah thanks but that would be a bit desperate of me to find prospective guys through the internet!

I guess in terms of approaching men - I'm unlikely to do that because I'm not a chaser, i want them to come to me. i don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard.. my theory (and correct me if i am wrong) is that if a guy is keen enough, he will make the approach or start the conversation...


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 Post subject: Giacomo's input
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 4:27 am 
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That is not necessarily true.
You have to understand that not everyone has the 'PUA mindset' of the guys you will find on this forum. Most guys will not want to approach you for fear of rejection.
As to why you don't get drunks and sleazes talking to you confuses me. I have girl friends that are not going to win any beauty pagents any time soon (still lovely people but) and even they get hit on by crazy randoms.
What sort of venues do you visit? I am only slightly familiar with the Melbourne nightlife. Most of the central city venues I have been to seem to have the sort of crowd that hits on the attractive women in the club constantly.
It is a mystery.
Do you hang around with heaps of male friends? Because I know that approaching a group with men outnumbering women is intimidating.

_________________
- Giacomo
xx


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:10 am 
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yes that's a good point re: most guys not having the PUA mindset...

i never go out with guys! always with girlfriends...

a few of the clubs I've been to are Motel, Metro, The Lounge, Playskool, and then a few bars like Phoenix, Mothers Milk, Railway,

do any of these sound familiar? otherwise... where should i be going?!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 11:38 am 
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Quote:
haha, yeah thanks but that would be a bit desperate of me to find prospective guys through the internet!

I guess in terms of approaching men - I'm unlikely to do that because I'm not a chaser, i want them to come to me. i don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard.. my theory (and correct me if i am wrong) is that if a guy is keen enough, he will make the approach or start the conversation...
I see plenty of women im attracted to and still afraid to approach! Us guys have delicate egos, if we approach a girl and get rejected it can damage our confidence, for me Ive gone home early some nights due to rejections!


This is intresting information - Mystery says that hot girls get approached all the time and here we have a hot girl that never gets approached!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:09 pm 
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Last time I went to Metro it was packed with attractive girls and guys. Same with the Lounge.
Not sure about the others.
I think I need more of an informed decision.
I am hitting up Melbourne in two weeks with some attractive girl friends. I will report back with my findings :P

_________________
- Giacomo
xx


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