I'm gonna bring up the subject of girls with boyfriends....I'm very confused right now due to a situation I've been left in by a girl who I instant dated (and then flirted with over the phone and email), only to find out a few weeks later she was in a serious relationship of 3 years. I now am left with an 'orbiter'....a girl who texts and emails me but has no sexual interest in me. The point is, I was led on, and so I want your thoughts on the whole 'girls with boyfriends' issue.

Let's take the average girl between the ages of 16 and 26. I believe it to be true that almost all girls in this age range have some sort of 'boyfriend', to varying degress of seriousness.

Now, the PU community advocates that you should use boyfriend destroyers such as 'So what's it like being in the perfect relationship' etc.

Other advice says that the 'bf issue' is just a shit test.

I'm not so sure it's as clear cut as this.

If a girl 'has a boyfriend', then one of the following scenarios is true:-

1) It's a serious relationship and the girl is in love with her boyfriend and she won't cheat on him or leave him for another guy (unless the bf turns into a chump or something).

2) It's a less serious relationship and the girl will willingly cheat on her bf or leave him if a better guy comes along

So, then, if a girl says she has a boyfriend, you have to figure out one of the following:-

a) Is it just a shit test?....i.e. she doesn't really have a bf but just wants to throw you a challenge to see how much of man you are.

b) Does she REALLY have a bf? And in which case is she willing to cheat on him or leave him for you?

c) Are YOU willing to sleep with a girl who has a bf, or are you willing to steal a girl from a guy?

So the whole 'girl with a bf' issue isn't clear cut.

It's a paradox....if you only want to date or sleep with single, unattached women, then this whole bf issue is going to pose a problem.

The question is....if most girls have bfs, how do you find single, unnatached women? And how do you find out if it's serious with her?

The answer, I believe is to ask girls if they're single in the first interaction. I know many guys say don't ask her if she's single, but the truth is there are many girls who will lead you on/try and set the friends frame if they have a bf and they know you are in the dark about that. So the only way out of this madness is to ask them if they're single and get them to talk about their relationship a bit so you can find out how serious it is or is not.

These are issues I've been confronted with lately, and it's creating barriers for me.

I don't think it's as simple as classing the bf issue as a 'shit test' and using bf destroyers etc.

Can you guys give me your own personal point of view on this subject. Thanks.

A girl can never change your frame for you. Of course, she can try to knock you out of it, but ultimately it's your frame, and you're in control of it. (to believe otherwise is beta behaviour.. an alpha is always in control of himself) If she leads you on, it means that she is interested (yes, in a more-than-friendly way). If she was dead serious about her boyfriend, she wouldn't have led you on in the first place. So as for her intent... at least some part of her wants to sleep with you. That's a fact, as far as I'm concerned. This however still leaves you with the moral implications. Are you willing to steal this guy's girlfriend? I suggest you try to think about morals, specifically your own... Where do you draw the line? Is okey to steal her from a non-serious relationship, for example? Or perhaps it's okey no matter what kind of relationship they have, since she would have ended up cheating on him anyways? These kinds of questions can only be answered by you yourself...

As for me, I'd probably try to steal the girl if A) I was very interested in her (like I thought that she could be good future mother material or something)... and B) I was pretty damn sure that she would be better off with me than the other guy. I'm a pretty nice guy, and I don't want to hurt other people without good reasons. Sometimes you have to hurt others (or they will hurt you), but I usually try to keep it to a minimum. But that's me... we each have our own rules and morals.

And another thing... I'd treat her boyfriend statement as a shit test if I was unsure. If she actually has a boyfriend (that she is serious about) she will probably tell you more about him (and thus confirming his existence and how serious she is about him) as you get to know each other better...

some good points.





If you don't bring up the BF issue early, and then later on, say a 3rd or 4th meeting she tries to put you in LJBF by saying "I have a boyfriend" theres a simple line that i've used that's effective.

simply say, "oh! well, I don't see a ring on your finger "

then pump attraction and move on as if it's a non-issue

Had the same fuckin problem man. I didn't deal with it the right way though, I allowed her to dither too much.

Everytime we had a few drinks she'd cheat on him with me, but nothing ever came of it despite my efforts.

The best way to act is...

Project an image that you're not particularly bothered if she "loses" you as you can 'get it' elsewhere if need be. Tell her to give you a call when she's ditched the BF, making use of the "I'm a virtuous man who doesn't piss around in stupid love triangle scenarios" manouever, then go a wee bit cold on her for a week or so. Obviously, get her extremely attracted to you BEFORE all that.

She'll come running, you'll see.

i have exactly the same problem with this girl here in mexico even thoguh i still sarge i have a friend that i am completly nuts for i have to say i honestly when to the pick up busines in order for her to stop seeing me as a friend but more of a contender bakc when i was more of a afc today i am less not pick up artist yet, but she never mentioned her boyriend we talked and shit for more and then when i asked she would look down and in a low voice say yes that she did have a bf cool but we talked and talked i swear then in febuary before i knew of the game i gave her a rose on valentimes day she liked it so much and shit but this other dude was trying to hook up with her ok so she acted weierd on me and so i stopped talking to her i was a mees till after mexican spring break semana santa i started talking to her we talked and talked and talked she won my heart again then i was ape shit over her(if you guys say why not make my own post i can say that i am not allowed to post posts yet need like 10 more post in forum that rule sukc but ohh well sorry) the thing that i am trying to get at is that yes they will lead you yes they are interested but i guess you some how have to show her that your better matterial i guess the stop talking to her works cause she find out what your really worth cause your not their anymore she notices what you caracterstics are thiers no ring and bf is the same as a friend that i fuck, its possible for oneitis to become bfs but the mayorite rather not spend time casue of pain but i have been going sarging and shit still newbie but i feel that a certain patter with oneits can be turened naaa fuck that its complicated man and thank you mates for hereing my story woot

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loving afrodite, revengeful hera, musing muses, heroin of my libido, drug of my life, slave i once was, but master i shall be.

Same problem right here, I was with this russian girl who has this boyfriend in russia who seems like a bit of a nutjob(but all girl's boyfriends seem like nutjobs to me) So we made out and some such shit but then she says she feels guilty and is just talking to me. And now she just wants to talk and talk and talk and not do anything fun. She seems like she's afraid to meet me somewhere private because she knows I'll mindfuck her into getting dirty again but I'm pretty much just reacting to what she does at this point and going for other girls.

This is my personal advice because I've delt with girls in relationships before. If a girl is in a relationship but you know she likes you, lay on the seduction cold and hard. Either she'll crack and never talk to you again(which is better than having an orbiter I guess) or she'll forget about her hubby and make you her piece on the side. I think sometimes you just have to give girls an ultimatum and see how they take it, otherwise you'll waste a lot of valuable time and effort on something that won't pan out.


Of course, you could always use her as a pivot as well. That's usually how I react to the LJBF girls.

so sedduction ehh ahhhh i need to start doing that again or what do you mean i have been ignoring her for the past week cat string theory so seduction ehhh cool

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loving afrodite, revengeful hera, musing muses, heroin of my libido, drug of my life, slave i once was, but master i shall be.