Hey whats up??
So there is this girl within my friendship circle, and so because of this i always see her at the same clubs, bars, parties etc.
She is a HB8, but i have never ever showed her much interest before.
However lately she is playing some serious game with me and i'm not sure how to react.
For example she will ignore me all night, than start flirting with me and giving compliments, and than she will say something like "you can call me tomorrow if you want....." than i will say "sure" and than she will go "but i think i'm losing my voice from the flu so maybe thats a bad idea".
Its like she waits for me to commit to one of her ideas, than she shuts it down once she knows that i want to do it.
Anybody have advice on how to deal with this girl?

Okay it might not seem obvious to you but shes testing you, at the point she tells you you can call her if you want you have two choices

1. " we'll see, if im not busy"

2. " nah you can call me tomorrow about (whatever time)

personally i like number 1,, plus dont let her disarm you with compliments, neg her a few times, make her earn your attention and earn your compliments but only compliment her on her what shes wearing,, not her looks!

Shes testing you,, enjoy it like its a game, laugh at her attempts and enjoy that your being tested.

Hope this helps boss

Totti;;

keep doing what you're doing but dont commit. she's throwing shit tests your way...

her: "you can call me tomorrow if you want....." (IOI)
you: "maybe, we'll see" (mixed IOI and neg, kinda)
her: "but i think i'm losing my voice from the flu so maybe thats a bad idea" (IOD)
you: "yeah, i dont think we'd get along anyway *cocky smile*" (IOD) or something to that effect.

i like throwing their game back at them. reward and punishment. eye for an eye.

This is going to be a lonnnng explanation and im gonna repeat myself a lot but read it all and you will have a far better understanding of what she is doing...and the better you know what she is up to the better you can counter her shit....

I agree with the replies you were given
i agree with the fact you should be testing her throwing what she says back in her face and continue to stay uninterested like you have been....

("However lately she is playing some serious game with me and i'm not sure how to react")

lately? there is your tip off word lately? I know her kind to an exact science and can damn near nail her personality off the bat for you.....and i wont charge what a good deal right lol......

well anyways, short and simple she loves compliments and attention..she is a tease/flirt and a liar...now let me explain...these are shit tests though

reason she has taken awhile to get over to you and start hitting on you is cause she was busy with the other guys in the group you know hitting on them, teasing whatever, or she was focused on some guy outside your group, basically she is making her rounds hitting on whoever she feels to get a rise in her day, basically make herself feel good....so when you see her with someone else dont get jealous if anything thats what she wants guys fighting over her, you know constant attention.....


this flirting is shit tests as well very much so, im sure in the back of her mind she says why is every guy a pussy i talk to, and what she means by pussy is when she hits on them they do what she damn well wants, can you call me you say ok, can you go grab me this you say ok or by doing what she wants that means flirting right back which is also giving into her....you need to stop it now and give her shit for hitting on you make fun of her and tease her something im sure not to many guys have done

......She is doing these things to test you and everyone else she hits on to see what kind of person you if your someone she wants to date so dont fall for her shit and she is doing it cause its fun and im 99.9% sure it makes her feel good.........flirting that is
So basically her personality is a Flirt.....

she will hit on you, you try and get close ask for a number and she might lie and say im seeing somone, or you can get it and when you call she is always busy hmmm weiirddd...thats if she isnt feeling it

For example she will ignore me all night, than start flirting with me and giving compliments, and than she will say something like "you can call me tomorrow if you want....." than i will say "sure" and than she will go "but i think i'm losing my voice from the flu so maybe thats a bad idea".

that sounds a lot like the lieing personality in her...

flirting liar, is what you could call her...

she flirts (the flirting aspect of her) with anyone and everyone and always make's excuses (the lieing aspect of her) on why she cant give her number, why she cant call, why she cant hang out, or whatever else there maybe is.......this is cause your either acting like every other guy or she isnt attracted to you

Now let me explain a girl i once knew in 8th grade see if this matches up to her, ive met plenty in my life time but this one takes the cake

im not gonna give away actual names so lets just say kelly was her name,

kelly was in my say english class 8th grade, very talkative person within her group of friends, and outside her group she'd talk if you approached sure..this group which of course included guys, id see them all the time hittong on her and now she would hit back on them and have a smile on her face, bating her eyes, exposing her wrists, exposing her neck when talking, and whatever types of submissive seduction gestures you can think of....

.anyways the guys ate this shit right up, they be talking and they'd get hooked ask for a number sometimes she say my phone isnt working right now, or my dad uses the phoen as a buisness line and i aint got a cell phone, other times she would give out her number and when they call she is always busy.....now if a guy confronted her and said how come he got the number and i didnt easy all she would have to say is phone is back online or dad is letting me use it now.. and that guy who just showed insecurity she is no longer wanting to view in a possible relatoinship basis, these types of girls will flirt with guys cause its fun but also be flirting hoping that maybe one guy just one someday will stop being a bitch and call them on there shit.....

so kelly and the guy whoever she is talking to would talk back and forth she would make herself appear available but not really be avaliable cause she isnt looking for a boyfriend cause well no guy is willing to call her out on her shit they all woudl act like woman and melt when they talked...she would hit on them a bit and they woudl respond and well she be like well gotta go to class or break is over or whatever but dammnit if she didnt she be walking to her next class and there she would go talking to another guy allllll the way to lunch, next class, when school got ou whatever....kelly was a flirting type liar....flirt cause its fun to girls but lie when a guy gets to close..........perhaps sound familiar????


anways back to you this girl you are talkign to right now she will hit on whoever she wants she doesnt care to them its fun there is no commitment guys see flirting as sexual interest and girls see it as fun..

yea its deffinatly fun to her, and i can see when a guy gets to close she comes up with a grand excuse...like the

"but i think i'm losing my voice from the flu so maybe thats a bad idea".

thats weird she said call and now she is saying dont.......

sounds to me like she is Sub or Unconsciously trying ot see what kind of guy seeing if your like all the other losers or somoene who actually promotes a challenge

so i rattled on for awhile and im sure i missed some very important key points so im gonna some it up right now


she will flirt with you cause its fun but at the same time see what kind of guy you are see if your not like the others, this behavior is more on the flirting side of things though if you flirt back and just show how your like every other guy o well its still fun to them....so you need to stop being like all the others and continue to act uninterested, tease, make fun of her, call her on whatever...dont fall for her shit, if she says how bout you call me say i dont know when ill have time so how bout you call me

make her get close to you caues when you start getting to her she will lie its to push you away covertly at times and not hurt your feelings at others like in the case of the girl i knew in 8th grade if you called her she was always busy she is lieing not to hurt your feelings

so dont take her shit and do what she wants she says how bout you calll next time say im actually busy right now, ill take a rain check on that one.....or whatever you can think of

now i got a few questions

when did this girl apprear in your group?,

if she has been in yoru group for long time has she recently been looking better then she ever has beeen?

do you she her hitting on anyone else?

does she have about her a type of seductive aura?

and anything else you can think of please go ahead and ask im sure i missed one or two crucial things, sorry if i have

_________________
How You Approach Is A Matter Of How You Feel "mPUA Savior"

You Live What You've Learned

It's possible that she's just a tease, but personally I think the first 2 guys are more on the right track. Sounds like a pretty typical shit test to me and you're demonstrating lower value by doing what she wants every time she offers; you're jumping at the chance, when you need to be showing higher value and being more reserved about your interest in her.

Her: "You should call me tomorrow."
You: "I'm pretty busy, I doubt I'll have time, but maybe later on this week."

That's more likely to work, because you aren't being too easy.

I could be wrong, but I find that people generally aren't so overly complicated as to set out to fuck with you for no other reason. Generally when a girl does something like this, it's at least partially unconscious, because she wishes you would play harder to get and so when you don't, she instinctively throws a wrench in things trying to subconsciously communcate how she'd like you to act.

This is why girls constantly complain about not being able to find a nice guy, yet when one comes along, it doesn't work for them. They want the nice guy, they just want him to be able to play the game with them first, otherwise it's too easy; it's like being given a gold medal just for showing up to the tournament, but never playing the sport; how utterly boring.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

well put.

actually i agree with mPUA Savior, if you guys were reading he stats in his message he agrees with those guys exactly to what they were saying he just go's into more detail on what the girl is doing, like why she is flirting ot make herself feel good and why she is pushy him away sounds to me he is right on...

i mean come on a girls says call and he said sure well he go's to say if you do what she wants she will back off
and what did she do once he said ok ill call she said actually im coming down with the flu so it wont be such a good idea, he agreed these were shit tests, he just went into more detail why

well least someone read what i wrote...now on to defending my position...first off i Bolded some of the things in my last message that agree with the first 2 guys.....

when you said

(....Sounds like a pretty typical shit test to me and you're demonstrating lower value by doing what she wants every time she offers; you're jumping at the chance, when you need to be showing higher value and being more reserved about your interest in her...)

i hope you werent saying i told him to do what she wants cause i clearly said if she says do this or do that and you do it you need to stop it right now and start doing things like turning around what she says, C&F, teastng whatever


basically you didnt read a word of what i wrote but turned around what i said as if some novice wrote it....i never siad give into her and i mentioned her reasons for flirting are sorting out the losers......seeing who will obey her and who will promote a challenge which is what she wants.....

even though i respect the opinion, im gonna have to say if yoru gonna critize me for what i have been saying.....make sure what your saying isnt what i already said.....

_________________
How You Approach Is A Matter Of How You Feel "mPUA Savior"

You Live What You've Learned

Maybe you should have read MY response instead of getting defensive. It wasn't directed at you. I disagreed with what you were saying, but I didn't give that advice, saying that you had said something opposing it, I merely don't agree with your assessment of her personality, I think you jumped to a hasty conclusion about what type of person she is.
What evidence do you have that she is liar? The words "tease" and "flirt" can be interpreted in several ways; personally I don't like it when a girl is too conservative for me to be able to tell her she's a tease, cause I like to be teased, but from how YOU phrased that sentence, you make it sound like these are poor qualities and she's just doing it to screw with people's heads. Were you to have said that, "she is teasing and flirting with you," then that would have made a huge difference, but you said it in the form of an attack on her character. If that wasn't your intention, then merely state so and I'll concede that we're in agreement, but otherwise I don't think you have enough information to come to this conclusion.

I'm neither saying that I have enough evidence to disprove the fact that she IS a tease, flirt and a liar, because I know I've encountered women of that caliber and I'm not denying their existence, we merely need to remain unjudgemental and biased with our assessments in order to be our most effective when interacting with people. If you assume the stance of someone that has all the information and you have already come to your conclusions, then you're gonna be in for a big surprise most of the time, as usually you're missing more than a few critical pieces of information and people are not so easily catagorized.

If you decide to assume that a girl is a tease, with a negative connotation of the word, as well as a liar, then you are saying that her actions and what she says, won't be congruent and she's doing this on purpose just to fuck with your head. With that assumption, I personally don't even know why you would bother trying to pick this girl up, as she's trash and better left on the curb in my humble opinion. If for some reason that I cannot fathom, you are still interested on getting this girl, then you are now basically viewing her as an opponent, as that's the way that you're assuming she views you; someone to be toyed with, taken advantage of and used for amusement; yet not respected, cared for, or having any real bond with or connection to. Jump to that conclusion and you limit so many options and change the entire playing field from what it would be if you were to view her as just a girl that's interested, yet giving a shit test for qualification's sake.

I don't know what you believe, but just because a girl gives you a shit test, doesn't mean that she's a tease. Everyone uses shit tests, not just girls and not just girls that are teases or have bitch shields. If you don't agree with this statement, then maybe you should question what you know, study human beings a bit more and reason out WHY you hold the beliefs that you do. I know why people use shit tests and it's for a very simple reason: qualification. Women need to qualify men because they have so many guys trying to get in their pants that if they don't, then they don't get quality and they have a hell of a lot of quantity to deal with. Men qualify women because they have tastes that need to be met as well; some guys use shit tests to seperate the dumb girls from the smart ones, the sophisticated ones from the McDonald's employees, the adventurous from the dull, or the unhappy bitches from the postive and friendly sweethearts. We all do this, or we would never end up with the type of girls we like and they'd never end up with the men they like.

Shit tests should be a fun thing, it is a chance to see where they're coming from and show them that you fit what they're searching for. If you start viewing them as something that only the wrong type of people use, then you're really going to limit your sense of enjoyment from interacting with the opposite sex and in life in general. Heck, your guy friends shit test you all the time, but you don't draw attention to it cause you aren't trying to get in their pants (I'm assuming, although there's nothing wrong with that if you are). Buddy asks you what kind of music you like and you can be sure that it's a kind of test, cause if you don't share the same taste in music, you lose points, just like you would with a girl.

Broaden your mind and your scope of what qualifies as a shit test (which you need to remember to view as part of what makes the game fun) and not judge people based upon them, because they're just trying to see if you are right for each other, not trying to fuck with your head (95% of the time at any rate).

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

i wasnt getting defensive, i was only stating that i dont see how you can judge what i was saying cause i dont think you read what i wrote...but anyways read on


didnt i already say these are tests she is putting him through, and i dont deny that there not these are 100% tests to see if he is the type of guy she wants, but i guarentee she is a tease, im not saying its a bad thing im saying that she flirts with people most likly more so then most girls, im sure this has been built into her over the years from being hit on so much so she grows accustom to flirting and the flirting is a way to bring upon a potential mate, singling out the losers from the guys she would want, the tease comes into play cause well flirting is teasing in a sense,

so if you want to substitue the word tease for flirt go right ahead, i just use them both for no real reason......

anyways she flirts for fun, but also within the process(purpose) of finding out which guys would be good for her.....
now she is a liar and i dont mean lie to your face i didnt kill her O.J Simpson type lie......im just saying that this girl, uses lieing as a form of not tryign to be a bitch, which is good and its not......say when you call a girl and ask her out and she says she is sick as a dog and cant go out, but an hour later you see her out with another guy..

..what did she just do to you???? she just LIED....which agian isnt a bad thing she lied not to hurt your feelings, but also her lieing was counter productive cause im sure now your pissed thinking she gave you the shaft but she had good intentions....there is pletly of lies like this, can i get your number....no i have a boyfriend, how bout we go out....no i have a boyfriend, how bout we go out.....no gotta watch the little brother, how bout we go to the dance toghther.....sorry im gonna go alone......and further proof is im sure you've had girls say this stuff to you only to see her in the mall with her friends she isnt sick, or to see her at the dance with a date......reason she lied she isnt sexually interested in you....

continuing reading...

...there are thousands of examples you can think of im sure....my groudns for believing she is is cause not to many people are blunt plus she asked for HIM to call and when he said SURE she came up with an excuse why not too.......she was seeing what kind of guy he was and when he acted like every other guy she LIED to bail herself out real quick

....so by flirting like what she is doign and what most everyone does
i mean teasing to single out the losers and then she LIES in an attempt to not hurt those losers feelings.......im not singling her out saying she is a bad person im saying im putting her into the category of flirting liar cause thats what she is to a key..

the flirting liar is a girl you would see guarenteed at the club
and speakign of clubs our friend who posted this concern quoted ( i always see her at the same clubs, bars, parties etc. )

i just pointed that out cause you know she is guarenteed getting hit on a lot which brings about the whole flirting is in her nature now and she lies not to hurt the losers she doesnt want to bother with's feeling

but anyways

for example

you know the girl who flirts takes the drink and then walks off, or gives out her number and when you call is never available,.......these types of girls just happen to flirt more and get more attention then most girls, they love to flirt and if they meet mr. right in the process great and if not o well flirting is fun



and im guessin thats what kind of girl our friends girl is........is she LOVES to flirt and gets tons of attention from it, thats why she said to him
how bout you call me...by her having said this what she did was try and single him out and see if he is what she wanted...but unfortunetly he said yes, and he acted like every other guy
and so she did what she normally does when she meets a normal guy who does what she wants and that is she bailed with a LIE

Girls love to flirt to get attention and once they have it she flirts at the target who took the bait to see if he is worth her time and if he isnt and he asks for a number she will lie to get herself out of the jam or give him the number but lie once he calls

......so on this assumtion we can guess our friend who posted this blog isnt doing so well and should start, DHVing himself, C&F and negs...and not saying sure ill call or hey! can i buy you a drink....

did i make myself more clearer
and now were on the same page? please share

_________________
How You Approach Is A Matter Of How You Feel "mPUA Savior"

You Live What You've Learned

Thanks everyone for you advice, i appreciate it.
I agree with most of it, and now when i run into her next i am going to turn the game on her, and be the one who is playing harder to get.

Rye Lee i think this is spot on, its like they can never win. They are always complaining about how they always end up with the badboys, yet they always reject the nice guys. Massive catch 22.

I understand WHAT you are saying Savior, I just don't agree with your hasty conclusions. You were given very little information to go off of, yet you have written reams and reams about who this girl is, without ever having met her, or getting any other perspectives from someone that HAS met her. I think it's a bad idea to draw conclusions so readily, with so little information, which is also very biased and opinionated, considering his vantage point.

I've seen a lot of guys post stuff giving their version of what happened and then after a few people reply, they post some more and you realise that they had left tons of stuff out, come to assumptions based upon what happened (such as being sure that she was lying, when it IS possible that she remembered that she was getting sick). I'm not saying that you shouldn't give your opinion, but STOP STATING THINGS AS FACT. Sometimes I slip and accidentally phrase something as a fact when it is really my opinion, but I do my best to always phrase things as my opinion, because we can't possible be 100% sure and that's what a fact is, something that is 100% true and concrete.

You may think that it's perfectly harmless to state something as fact and that guys will obviously assume that it's your opinion, they really should realise that. Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys that don't think about the information and advice given to them highly enough and when they read something that a guy states as fact and he is claiming to be an expert, perhaps his name makes it sound like he's really knowledgable or something...then they tend to just go with it and take it as gospel. This causes a lot of grief; it can totally colour the way they view things and their whole belief structure. Often the guys that give advice in such a way, aren't actually that knowledgable and are just assuming they are (I'm not judging you, you may be incredibly knowledgable, I don't know you well enough to judge, so I won't, but I am judging how you present your knowledge on here) and so they mislead guys causing negative consequences.

A guy was recently asking what to say to 2 girls that he knows that are always talking about sex. One of the new guys, with something like 20 posts, told him to say: Another member with under 10 posts replied: Then another 10: And at long last, we get to the result of all this: THIS is why I can't stand it when anyone (myself included) phrases an opinion as fact, cause it just misleads people and they weigh it differently than when they state it or phrase it as opinion, even if only subconsciously. Words have power, this is a VERY basic principle of NLP and in the Critical Thinking course I'm taking in school right now, they try to ingrain the importance of not stating opinions as fact, for this very reason.

It seems to me like YOU think that this is a fact, cause otherwise you wouldn't be guaranteeing us and arguing your point so fiercely. I dissagreed and if you had just been stating your opinion, you would have been able to accept the opposing viewpoints and let the guy come to his own conclusions, yet you seem to be bent on trying to convince me that you have the facts, because you seem to believe that they are facts. I see no other reason to argue your point so much, it's not like this is going to have a tremendous impact on his world, this is just one girl that is doing this, it isn't a repeating issue with multiple girls and we're ALL just posing our hypotheses, so it's not like anyone has solid facts to make a solid argument. I'm merely hoping you will learn to propose your thoughts in a less factual manner and suspend judgement of people, that's all. Judging people is silly, as even when you know someone really really well, you aren't them and you don't know why they do what they do all the time, so judging someone you've never met, is merely an educated guess.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

well i agree with the quotes you gave out about those guys saying to another he should call those girls out when they always talk about sex, i woudlnt recommend it....but it is completly different from what i am saying...


i didnt agree at all with those guys and giving him advice saying dude just call those girls out, it probably woudlnt be the best scenaior

but what i am stating is be on your toes and dont take her shit, when she flirts its a way of qualify you most likely and the fact she said she was sick and you shoudlnt call when SHE SAID to call in the first place we can assume most likely to the fact that she is almost lieing cause come on how bout you call ok and then you say no not a good idea? yeah i doubt she is sick.......when i said i know or i guarentee nothing is guarenteed and what is guarenteed it means 90% of the time you know its no cetain there is just a damn good certainty, but always the possiblity of error....just like the mystery method, or pua method its not guarenteed it wont work on everyone...

.so all i am offering to the guy who posted his concern is be on yoru toes this is a factual possible scenario, given the facts he states she go's to bar, clubs parties we can assume she gets hit on alot which then means she has grown accustom to attention, therefore she gets use to attentin and then distinguishs attentino with flirting therefore flirts to get attention...........its social conditioing, im sure you konw what im talking bout here.....but this is a 90% certainty cause most MOST people like attention so anyways

she flirts to get attention, therefore flirting is fun, but also in the process uses flirting to single out the losers from the winners.......and the guys who are losers and she doesnt want to bother with WHITE Lies to them, to get them to back off and the ones that dont put up with her shit and stick to there alpha male attitude are the winners in her mind.....


and yeah the post they made it isnt to correct but the fact they only posted 20 times doesnt make them uncredible with say future or past posts

someone could of posted 3400 hundred times, not referring to you but somene could post as much as you and still not know much........you can spend all day on here reading about what is going on and think you know everything...again not talking bout you...or you can have real life experience read every book out there, see social interactions in public, taken every psychology class, and just have a knack for it
and then find the site, register with the site, log on to it then only have 5 posts and still know more then someone who has that 3400 posts......

.....but i do see your point on how can i say she is exactly, well you took my wording wrong when i say exactly i mean almost certain like 90% of the time...and given the social conditioning reasoning, we can assume that is ASSUME she is qualify him by saying how bout you call...


i never admitted i was a certain 100% guarenting i was right
i only said i had good factual reasons on why i believe she did what she did, but there is always case study's in which the girl was actually sick......but really you shoud know only somone in denial or inexperience would accept the reasoning she was truthfully sick....you can always keep it in your mind as a possiblity, but the man chunk of your reasoning on it should be, i was just qualified by her asking me to call i said yes, and then she bailed out by coming up with a reason why not to call..

cause no one or not to many people say hey! call....and then you say sure....and then change there in an instant saying o i changed my mind im losing my voice to the flu?....

well if you have the flu and are losing your voice, why you in public


so she loves clubs, parties, bars.....there she gets hit on all the time, bringing in a flirty nature its just natural anyways at bars, clubs and parties
and are friend here NEVER paid attention to her, whats the best way to get a cats attention dont pay attention to them.....
so by doing so he got her attention, they talked for a bit, she asked for him to call, he said yes and she said im losing my voice to the flu.........

he said he feels its like whenever he go's along with what she wants she always seems to bail...

sounds to me like she is flirting to qualify but when this guy acts like a AFC, she bails on him and said some up scene thing like im losing my voice to the flu, losing her voice to the flu? and in a bar with loud music....hmmm interesting scenario there...if i was losing my voice to the flu as i am sure if you were too, we be at home taking meds and sitting down..........and ur probably gonna say well she said she was losing her voice and probably has the flu...

well when anyone says they think they have this or they are coming down with that, it means ive got some symptoms of it...

so if somone would say im losing my voice and i think i have the flu...

you can almost be certain that person isnt feeling so well....

so its either we can then assume her in bar and making the flu excuse is a lie to have this guy not get the number which he said anyways when i go along with what she wants she backs off......which backs up my point...

or we can assume she is one hell of a trooper and loves to party and nothing not even a flu will stop her...

come on based on all this evidence and reasoning you can use within the message

she loves bars, clubs, parties
he never payed attention to her
she has been hitting on me hard core recently
she asked for me to call i said yes and she said im losing my voice to the flu not a good idea, when there either at a bar or club
and then he stats when i go along with what she says he bails

given all this evidence how can you still say that my reasoning is incorrect.......it may in accurate maybe she is sick...

but i would doubt its incorrect cause the basis of my debate is an accurate argument....

_________________
How You Approach Is A Matter Of How You Feel "mPUA Savior"

You Live What You've Learned