What did I do wrong :( "?



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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:57 pm 
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So today I had an experience with a girl .

I was walking down the street and this cute HB7 (in my eyes 10, but I have quirky tastes) stopped me to sign up for some crap for the environment. I did , but I was late for class so I signed up and left. The whole time I was signing up she was looking me straight in the eye when talking and when I was filling up the forms she leaned in on me and we were very close. I thought this was an IOI, so an hour and a half later I come back looking for her and walk by her as she is recruiting someone else. I had extreme AA but atleast knew what to talk about and stood down the street as she talked to the other. I finally got the nerve to talk to her and just blurted something out:

Me: Hey, got lots of people signing up ?

Her: yeah actuallly blah blah blah blah blah (says a few sentences)

Me: cool blahblah blah ( I ask her about her life, she asks me about mine).

Her: "politics, blah blah blah"

Me: You know what, I'm not really on any side politically. IN my opinion politicians should be shot.

Her: *bursts out laughing* "that's a lil violent"

Me: meh what do I know I'm just ignorant when it comes to these things (did this bring me down?)

Things one could interpret as IOI's during this convo:

-She brushed her hair back once or twice even though it was in poney tail
-She was looking me in eyes with powerful eye contact the whole time, while I looked away once or twice (couldn' t help it)
-She was asking me about me and keeping the convo flowing
-She seemed very comfortable and was close to me the whole time.

Then all of a sudden she says "well jimmy thanks for signing up, I have to head back to headquarters so I'll see you around" ( I dont know if this was true or just an excuse to make me go away)

THen I asked her if I would see her in that spot again ,and she said probably not as they get rotated all the time.

I felt there still needed to be more escalation of attraction before going for #close, so I didnt. Plus her co worker was there and I would look like a turd if she rejected me/made her uncomfortable. I think she was like 4-5 years older than me too, and I look kind of young for my age (I'm 19) which hurts me a lot with girls. I'm also about 5'7, so while she was considerably smaller than me i know a lot of girls don't like this, which can also be frustrating.

Im kind of pissed because it took a lot of nerve on my part to talk to her and i didn't really get anywhere. I'm also pissed off because when I saw this girl I had an unexplainable feeling that i could be her "type", a feeling I dont get with many women because they are shallow and moronic, so one that isnt is hard to find ion my experience.

Masters: HELP ME, TO HAVE A BETTER ONE NEXT TIME.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:57 pm 
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Just plug away at it, man. I guess she had too many issues. It's anyone's guess. Who knows. Nobody.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:35 pm 
Don't take this the wrong way or anything... maybe I don't know the whole story. Granted, you posted this from memory, but it looks like...:roll:...the CONVO was boring. Now I emphasize convo because she must've been giving you IOIs because she was interested, but fuck...the lack of substance you invoked (in your verbals), gave her the impression that maybe you just didn't get it. Which is not your fault or hers.

Forget beating a dead horse. Time to create INTRIGUE/TENSION. Next time you see her (and you will, bet on it), go up to her and tell her in an almost nonchalant way "...boy you got some balls"

She'll probably be offended/confused and ask you what you're talkin about. Abide her question and go on to say "...but you know what I kinda like it, it makes me curious". That's exactly when you walk away. TRUST me I've done this exact scenario before. The confusion in your story will make her think What the Fuck is this guy talking about? And what exactly makes him curious? The point of creating this TENSION is to later use in your arsenal to create Resistance (YOUR resistance + HER resistance = sexual tension). Try that out and let me know the result.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:42 pm 
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Quote:
Don't take this the wrong way or anything... maybe I don't know the whole story. Granted, you posted this from memory, but it looks like...:roll:...the CONVO was boring. Now I emphasize convo because she must've been giving you IOIs because she was interested, but fuck...the lack of substance you invoked (in your verbals), gave her the impression that maybe you just didn't get it. Which is not your fault or hers.

Forget beating a dead horse. Time to create INTRIGUE/TENSION. Next time you see her (and you will, bet on it), go up to her and tell her in an almost nonchalant way "...boy you got some balls"

She'll probably be offended/confused and ask you what you're talkin about. Abide her question and go on to say "...but you know what I kinda like it, it makes me curious". That's exactly when you walk away. TRUST me I've done this exact scenario before. The confusion in your story will make her think What the Fuck is this guy talking about? And what exactly makes him curious? The point of creating this TENSION is to later use in your arsenal to create Resistance (YOUR resistance + HER resistance = sexual tension). Try that out and let me know the result.

I don't think this is correct at all. She seemed to be very interested and into the conversation. This is what shocks me, she cut it off (the conversation wasn't even dying down) so randomly that I didn't know how to react.

Besides, I am like you say, a bit of an "asshole". But to be honest, I am only that random and funny when I am with girls I would not consider attractive. Attractive girls more times than not have no sense of humor and blow you off quickly after you do something like that.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:15 am 
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No no . . . the conversation you described was a disaster. If you don't believe me, go ahead and do that over and over again 10 times and let me know how this works out for you. You don't let a hb go off in some politics tangent then you bring up some weirdo topic of shooting people.

Start from scratch.

You opened successfully. Good. Now you can frame this convo any way you like. You seem to know that it's important to escalate and create attraction but how do you suppose you'll do this through conversation about shooting politicians?

Read up on routines. Start off with cans. Stop telling yourself you don't get with women because they're "shallow and moronic". Stop telling yourself "attractive women" do this and that. All you're doing is shifting responsibility of bad outcomes to others. They blew you off because YOU were simply NOT interesting. So let's figure this game out. Let's get interesting.

For you to get any further, you have to be able to honestly identify and accept your current situation.

You can blame moronic/shallow/beautiful girls your entire life if you want to. But if you can't figure out a way to identify the beauty in the behavior of women and use it to your advantage to befriend them and eventually stick your cock into many, many beautiful women, this is going to be a miserable life for you.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:27 am 
THAT's what I mean... I acknowledged the fact that she was INTERESTED. But to talk politics with ANY woman, does not create ATTRACTION. All I'm saying.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:32 am 
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Well she brought it up first so I let her talk. It's obviously one of her passions so I tried to to be interested. ( I have a more passive interest in politics)

I'm new to this whole pua thing and feel like a bit of an ass doing things like palm reading and using openers like "Who cheats more...".I'm not interested in just getting laid but I want an intelligent companion who can talk about deep things. I have a dark sense of humor and want a woman who shares this with me too, it's part of me.

i'm pretty frustrated with the way the dating game works I guess you can say, especially in our society. Isn't it possible to get an average girl you have something in common with to like you like without being some phoney baloney? (but using PUA to show you are interested inher?)

I don't know, what makes me interesting? From what my friends tell me, I am a pretty interesting person. I have a lot of unique hobbies (although admittedly, they're not cool in the eyes of too many women), unique beliefs on life, and try to live life as my own, confident, masculine man. So what do I need to be interesting to women I like?


Last edited by heil333 on Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:33 am 
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I must agree politics is usually a bad tangent to go off on, almost like weather but weather can be fun sometimes lol :D


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:36 am 
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So what should I talk about that interesting the the select few women who have interests outside of celebrities, handbags, and shoes? Don't these women want me to qualify as an intelligent person who keeps up to date with the world?

Another problem I have is that I can't help myself but to say eccentric things (like politicians should be shot). I don't know why, but if I don't say them and if the person i am talking to doesn't talk like this , I get totally bored.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:43 am 
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Don't be qualifying, make them qualify to you. Use stories you have in your life that demonstrate higher value and use canned material (routines) until you get confortable.

Like it was said before you will see her again, when you see her this time make sure to go for the shock value, make her remember you.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:47 am 
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So what should I talk about that interesting the the select few women who have interests outside of celebrities, handbags, and shoes? Don't these women want me to qualify as an intelligent person who keeps up to date with the world?
:shock: No!

Quote:
Another problem I have is that I can't help myself but to say eccentric things (like politicians should be shot). I don't know why, but if I don't say them and if the person i am talking to doesn't talk like this , I get totally bored.
Don't STOP this...this is WHY she is interested in you. THIS is ATTRACTION. Leave politics for politicans. Women usually speak in an indirect manner. Meaning that speaking for her is just a way to filter her thoughts to get to what she really wants to say. Just be an avid listener BUT pay more attention to the non-verbal cues she is giving you (i.e. Body Language & IOIs).

Men use direct speech. Men speak to converse. Women speak to get to a point.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:42 am 
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never fluff, especially not about politics. but you should have number closed if you were getting that many IOI's. you had nothing to lose


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:03 am 
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Quote:
Well she brought it up first so I let her talk. It's obviously one of her passions so I tried to to be interested. ( I have a more passive interest in politics)
So who's being phoney baloney now?
Quote:
I'm new to this whole pua thing and feel like a bit of an ass doing things like palm reading and using openers like "Who cheats more...".I'm not interested in just getting laid but I want an intelligent companion who can talk about deep things. I have a dark sense of humor and want a woman who shares this with me too, it's part of me.
First off, I agree with you. Those canned routines are pretty boring. However, you are deep in the trenches of AFC-dom right now. This isn't the time to be analyzing the game. This is the time to go out and practice. Obviously, what you've been doing has NOT been working. Prioritize and write it down. What is your #1 goal? What is your #2? If you're #1 goal is to avoid "feeling like an ass", then you're already achieving this through your lack of game. If your #1 goal is to meet women, befriend them, attract them, date them, etc . . . then you're going to have to take the risk of trying something new.
Quote:
i'm pretty frustrated with the way the dating game works I guess you can say, especially in our society. Isn't it possible to get an average girl you have something in common with to like you like without being some phoney baloney? (but using PUA to show you are interested inher?)
See, this is dead give away that you really don't know what the hell this is about. You standing there, thinking that a girl is hot, but talking about shooting politicians is phoney baloney. If you think that a girl is hot, there are ways to EXPRESS yourself through effective means. This is about as truthful as truth can get. You want to engage her in meaningful conversation. You want to kiss her. You want to befriend her. Well, then stop being so damn phoney!
Quote:
I don't know, what makes me interesting? From what my friends tell me, I am a pretty interesting person. I have a lot of unique hobbies (although admittedly, they're not cool in the eyes of too many women), unique beliefs on life, and try to live life as my own, confident, masculine man. So what do I need to be interesting to women I like?
No, no . . . you already know that you're a bore. Stop lying to yourself. If you were an exciting, interesting person, you'd already have women all over you and your friends wouldn't have to TELL you that were "pretty interesting". Damn it, you really need to break this AFC ego of yours and just start from scratch. Go to the mirror and tell yourself that you are a boring bastard!

Now the good news is that "boring" and "not interesting" are not NOUNS. You can change these things around RIGHT AWAY. But first you need to admit to yourself that you need to improve . . . otherwise, you're going to be stuck lonely . . . and blaming others for being "phoney".

Here's a bit of a clue . . .

"Interesting" and "Exciting" has very little to do with hobbies.

I'm a pilot . . . I am a pro snowboarder. . . I surf the North Shore every winter. . . Do you think any of this turns a girl on?

Women want to feel sexy. They want to feel desired. They want to go on adventures. They want to laugh. They want to be touched. They want to feel safe. They want to be reassured. They want to be accepted. They want somebody to elevate their happiness . . . even when they are happy. If you think your stamp collecting hobby or some break dancing hobby or whatever it is that you do will provide any of these things, you're really, really lost. You are not in the position to be analyzing.

Seriously, stop thinking your way through this game. Just do it. Write down your goals first of all. Then write down 2 openers . . . that's it. Go out and open 10 sets. If all goes well. Write down 2 routines for follow up. Then go open 10 more sets. DON'T THINK. Your thinking is only going to F you up and you'll most likely go right back to your habitual cycle of:
"My Hobby this and that" - "Oh, she must not like me" - "She must be shallow" - "I don't like this game" . . .


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 2:04 am 
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Maybe you could have DHVed her more, or maybe you could have use a routine, but all these maybes will drive you crazy. It was a very hard set to open because her job was to start conversations with people all day. This is very different from a girl who talks to only a few men a day. You probably came off as just another signiture to her. The professional is a much more difficult set than others because she wants to stay professional and keep her personal life seperate. Be proud you got as far as you did and try an easier set next time.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 8:35 pm 
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i would of changed subjects


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