Guys,

I just wanted to know how long it took any of you guys to get past the lousy one-itis I am facing now. Let me give the briefest of backstory.

There's this girl I know (and actually dated) who used to live around here but now lives in Boston. She said she would be visiting my area and staying with family for a couple weeks starting with Father's day weekend. We talked about hanging out and her going to one of my shows (I play music). Now all of a sudden, my calls and emails aren't returned. It's almost as if she was lying about ever hanging out with me just to pacify me.

I realize the fact that she is an ex plays into why she won't reply, but that doesn't help me any. I'm still upset but don't want to be. Getting this upset about it puts her in the position to control me.

So, how long did it take any of you guys to get out of the one-itis mindset?

It is really not about a time frame to get over one-itis.
It depends on the person and the girl etc.
I am sure you will get the advice 'Sleep with a dozen women' here somewhere. But I would like to give you something a little more practical. Mainly because most people new to PUA would have difficulty going out and sleeping with a dozen women in a week or whatever.
Although this advice is somewhat similar.
Don't try to get in touch with her at all. Don't organise anything. If she calls you play it down. Act like you don't give a fuck about her.
If you keep telling yourself it you will most likely believe it in time.
Talk to as many women as possible. Just talk to them and get to a know a few to get your mind off it. You might even find a new girl to focus your attentions on.
It is not so much how to get over your one-itis.
It is just the procedure of forgetting about it and distracting yourself from it.
Eventually you will wonder why you ever had such ridiculous feelings.

This may not work for everyone. But I remember a time a while back where I caught a mild tummy bug version of one-itis. And this sort of thing had me over it in no time.

You can't overdose on communicating with women so do this as many times as required daily.
Coupled with two capsules of don't give a fuck.
That is what Dr. Giacomo recommends.

_________________
- Giacomo
xx

Thanks for the advice. I will admit: I fucked up a little because on Monday I sent her a text message, then on Wednesday I dropped her a line on myspace (which she read but didn't reply to). By now I have probably already screwed it up by looking too desperate, but oh well. There are more women in the world.

The problem is I don't get to meet them. Right now I have only one night to myself where I can go out and do what I want; that is Wednesday night. Needless to say, the bars aren't exactly packed with HBs on that day. So I have to rely on sarging online (chat rooms, personal sites, myspace).

Still, if that is all I have then that is what I will use. And you are right: I was talking to one new girl from a chat room tonight and didn't even think of the other one until I wrote this post.

Do you work in a space station?
Because I am pretty sure there are women all around the place.
You must interact with some women on a day to day basis.

_________________
- Giacomo
xx

No, but I DO work an overnight job. So I am sleeping during the day which, of course, is when most women are awake and waiting to be met. There are female overnight workers, but most of them are married and I know for damn sure NONE of them are really HBs. If I want to overcome my confidence issues and develop some good game, I really want to do so with HBs of no lower quality than 7 or 8. Anyone can talk to an ugly chick. LOL

Gia -

you beat me to the punch here mate.
there are women everywhere you walk/ look. you MUST get out of your mind that women only want to talk/ be interactive in a club/bar.
Also, dont think that every women you talk to you have to try to pick up- cause you will go in with the wrong mind set. just talk to them, interact, be happy and friendly.... you never know where the convo may go........

and yes eager you did fuck up - but we have all done it many times over. in fact, i have done much worse. dont beat yourself up and refer to the above advice from gia

WOW - i can be nice.....


have a lovely day y'all

sorry dude - i think i sent my reply just after the above note.

just one thing about your comment about anyone can talk to 5 and 6's.... do you? do you talk to these women down the street, in the supermarket etc

just wondering...

many people make this excuse for themselves. seeing a firl of 6-7 rating and saying -'nah, she isnt good enough for me' when in reality they are making excuses for themselves for their AA...

King we all know that deep down somewhere in there you are soft, fluffy and loveable.
Like a kitten...

_________________
- Giacomo
xx

lol Gia -

your calling me out brother...

love your work

Sure, I talk to my neighbors, the female overnighters (I see them because I work in a group home; we have to wake the kids up and walk them down to school so I see them then), and so on.

I guess my problem is this: now that I have found out about the PUA techniques, I want to practice them...but the hard part is making it so you're not conscious of practicing them. That's always tough with anything. Like when you start learning guitar and you want to play chords, you have to be very conscious at first of where your fingers are going. Thinking about it is what makes your transition between the chords slow. After a while, it becomes internalized and you can just do it.

You're right. Just get out there and talk. Thing is, there are certain situations where opening would be easy for me. For example, I am a big music fan. If I went to an FYE and saw a girl browsing through some CDs, that'd be easy for me. More difficult would be trying to approach a woman in the frozen section of the supermarket.

That is probably my weakest point there: the opener. If I can just get my foot in the door with something that captures their interest, I think I could learn very quickly how to handle it from that point on.

your overthinking things dude (this is part of the reason i try encourage people not to rely on routines or canned openers and more on their own personalities)

supermarket-

'hey, just a quick question'
'i am going to make some vegetable soup, do you think using frozan vegetables would effect the taste?'

you can go anywhere from this.......

Well, I guess it's just a confidence thing. I think I have a good personality with the potential to be quite a PUA, but somehow this personality doesn't come across in my conversations with people. And that is obviously one very crippling weakness because how else do you talk to people except through conversation (body language aside of course)?

more coversations = more interactions = more confidence = better game

hey i was in the same position as u a month ago.. the best thing to do is, forget about her what i did:

- deleted all her txt messages from my cell.
- deleted her as a contact on my phone.
- if i saw her in public i ignored her.
- started sparking conversation with every one i saw, especially females, whereever i was. i.e. i did it at a supermarket, Harveys while orderin food, at a gas station... there were tons of other ones too!

If I noticed that I could have a convo with that female, I did... anything, this actually lead to a couple of promising leads.

Hope it helps, cause i've been there, and one-tis is a b!tch, the longer u suffer from it the weaker ur game gets and the longer it takes u to develop it.

bwahahahaha thats fucking awesome dude keudo's to this post.....i feel i might be cured