It seems no matter who I try for, I can't get anyone! I have been single for almost 2 years now...I miss the feeling of a girl in my arms and actually having intimate sex rather than a fuck buddy. I miss it! I have been working vigorously to change how I approach woman, battling my AA, and all sorts of other stuff. I can't do anything right!! Well, I do all the steps that are recommended. FFS i even tried to do the whole 'Be yourself thing" and i even tried to just approaching with no canned material...nothing works. I had 4 girls talking to me from school and I had epic fails with all four...Nothing has changed ever since I entered this community. I kiss closed once, that almost became an f close...but that doesn't matter.

I joined this community so I could finally find a girl to date and love. I have approached about 35 girls and talked to them, got them interested, but when I started to talk after we met, it all went down hill. I tried just workin on just one girl at a time, that didn't work. Tried to juggle...that didn't work...WHAT DO I DO!? Do I have to resort to a freakin workshop? Wow... I hate my life. This is completely unlike me too. People can tell that my self confidence has changed too. Normally I have a super self esteem and confidence and it has all but evaporated...

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My attitude towards talking to woman. When I approach a HB one phrase is going in my mind.
"What are they gonna do? Not be my friend?"

Is it okay if I bookmark this and link it in threads where new members start thinking they're the shit? I never read a flat out confession about failing on this forum. It seems like there are only a select few people that are really successful while the others just roleplay and formulate these enormous stories about how they f-close every night.

All I can say is, cheer up and forget about women for a while.

Edit: And don't kill yourself. That's just stupid.

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Love, KATA124

35 girls is a drop in the bucket man. There's about 4 billion women on the planet and if you're in the States, there's about 150 million. Take a look at how many people are in your city.

Now look at guys like Mystery, who approached over 2000 girls before he developed a solid method to how to go about it. Some guys only take a few, some are thrilled to get good after 35. I've approached hundreds of women over the past year, I'm not a machine, but even though I've developed a good level of skill, I don't beat myself up if I go through a bunch of girls without getting anywhere, that's just life. You need to learn to develop skills that work for you, that work on the people you are trying to pick up, because the way you go about it changes based upon the demographic, as well as the city, etc, so there's a never ending calibration going on; it isn't a science, it's an art.

Give yourself a break, stick with it and realise that it can take a long time to get where you want, but every day take the steps to get there and soon enough you'll look around and realise you're where you wanted to be.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Yeah you can book mark this, I hope that isn't an insult towards me. If it was, I just got excited..but sure go for it.

Rye Lee, mark my words, I am making it my personal goal to approach over 250 girls over the next 3 months. May not seem like alot..but I'm tired of sounding pathetic. BLAHH!!!!

Tomorrow night I'm going to Kansas City for a Avenged Sevenfold, Buckcherry, Shinedown, Theory of a Deadman, Saving Abel and Red Line Chemistry concert. I am really gonna focus on approaching sets and try and develop a routine that works for me. Any suggestions at the moment?

Thanks for the support, maybe I'm just goin over this hump for a reason.

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My attitude towards talking to woman. When I approach a HB one phrase is going in my mind.
"What are they gonna do? Not be my friend?"

as I see it your inner game is failing it seems as though to the outside world you like to make out you are on top of shit but I am guessing (with the mention of school) you are another AFC trying to qualify themselves to the community. Dude, think honestly about what you are capable of then post a different intro

I like the attitude you're demonstrating with this objective. You are driven to succeed and make the necessary improvements, but there's something that you're not realising.

You could do like some guys I've talked to and approach over 1000 women, but unless you develop the necessary inner game - the mentality needed to be happy, confident, a multitude of beliefs and other things needed to succeed - it's never going to help you. Talk to anyone in the community that is truly happy with their level of skill and you'll realise that it didn't come from countless approaches, it came from working on issues they had to overcome in order to become the kind of person that other people love to be around; that's what makes women love you, not the gimmicks, but who you are and how you communicate that to them.

I'm not saying there is no point in approaching women, I'm not saying that without approaching you'll learn how to interact with them completely, but I guarantee you that it is not the biggest part of becoming masterful with women. I'm probably gonna get a lot of guys disagreeing with me, but I'd like to ask anyone that reads this, to think about it seriously and not to come to a hasty conclusion and give your honest opinion. I'm pretty confident that most of our long-running, respected members on here will agree with me and who are you gonna believe knows more about happiness and women; guys that have been dedicated to it for years, or a guy that stumbled across the site within the past month, cause those are the guys that are gonna dissagree.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I definitely agree with you now that I think about it. Its pretty much like, you can keep doing a math problem, but it's not always going to be right. but if you eventually do it enough, you figure out a formula to get to the solution. I have gathered that the proper way to go about this is this:

1. Approach the set
2. Do my thing
3. Try and adjust to problems while they arise.
4. After the set is over, whether it is a success or failure, analyze what you did wrong and improve that part on your next approach..

Would it be a good idea to practice that method? I have been meditating alot lately and I have a good inner calm when I focus hard enough, but my self esteem has taken a huge blow from years of failure. The only things that I know I can do better than anyone else I know are singing, drumming, and standing out. What would be a good way to raise my self esteem? Or is that something I should figure out on my own? Right now I am in a way better mood than I was a few hours ago.

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My attitude towards talking to woman. When I approach a HB one phrase is going in my mind.
"What are they gonna do? Not be my friend?"

You think YOU are a complete failure? Check this out.

I crashed and burned with something like 50 girls before I got my first K-close. And it took two more weeks to turn that into an f-close. Some girls even spread creepy rumors about me to their friends and fucked up lots of otherwise decent sets. I was LITERALLY scaring them away without knowing! And for a whole year I had NO CLUE why I was getting nothing before that first K-close. Now, girls often approach ME. And I tease them back and forth like I have NO fear of losing them! And you've already got a K-close after only 35 girls! Praise the Lord! 35 rejections is no big deal.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm NOT some super-PUA master (nor do I claim to be), but I've got enough experience to know that rejection is not worthy of your fear. If you bomb a set, just keep plugging. Forget the rejection. The guys who get the most women are the ones that got rejected the most in the beginning, and continued GOING AT IT ANYWAY!

And the reason most guys never get there is that they GIVE UP and ignore the basic foundations of the game. I used to be like you - I'd read some PUA stuff, I knew what k-closes and AFC's and PUA's were, I knew about negs and patterns and even kino, but I was STILL messing up because I didn't know how to put it all together.

Here's a clue. CHILL OUT! You don't NEED women that badly. Trust me, if you become a PUA, you'll soon find out it's about more than getting laid. Sex alone won't feel as interesting after a while. Soon you'll start seeking new challenges in pick-up - sets, threesomes, sarges in the most unlikely and tricky places that just happen to have the prettiest girls. And THAT is how to see them - as welcome challenges, not as some impossible feat of courage. The challenge is not to get laid, but to IMPROVE YOURSELF. Improve your technique, find out what's wrong with it, and fix it.
This is a good place to start, but unless you do some reading on the subject of seduction, it's gonna take an awfully LONG time. You actually have a HUGE advantage over Mystery, because now there is a whole pick-up industry that didn't exist in his early years. You just need to be careful where to start.


You don't need a seminar - just start off with a basic book like "The Mystery Method" and read it, and then buy Mehow's "Get the Girl!" which explains TONS of reasons why guys mess up with girls, AND how to fix them VERY quickly. Mehow is like an improved version of MM, he was one of Mystery's former students, and presents a VERY fun, smooth method that projects (and gives you) SUCCESS, not failure. Then sarge, and do your evaluation process in light of everything your learned from the book. After I read it, I was BLOWN AWAY - in more ways than one!

~HotIce

this guy speaks the truth you could get someone who doesn't think much of themselves to approach 1000 women and all it would do is knock him down further but if the person honestly believed in themselves they might learn something ( god that shit sounds very fairy tale but from my experience is true). I see it as if you don't wank and know what you like, how the fuck is a woman supposed to?

god damn I wish mystery method was laid out IG1 IG2 IG3 A1 etc

I know it must seem like crap right now, but keep at it. If you're too down though, listen to kata and take a break for a while until you feel pretty good about it again. Being down while going out is never good. Just keep at it and practice. You're sure to get better.

The reasons I got into the PUA Community were to improve myself, but you are right. I need to chill out. I really am diggin your input man!

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My attitude towards talking to woman. When I approach a HB one phrase is going in my mind.
"What are they gonna do? Not be my friend?"

Thanx dude. Happy to help.

You want to make pickup easy on yourself instead of hard? Try this: while you're checking out Mystery and Mehow, also look up the SoSuave forums and their FREE crash course e-book, "Don Juan Boot Camp".

It's got a totally unique, independent method of boosting your game (not related to Mystery, Ross, Style, or ANY of the big "gurus") that is FUN and LOW-STRESS. It teaches you how to be smooth and project confidence. It teaches you how to approach, attract, and set up a "Day 2". It teaches you how to deal with boyfriend objections, resistance, and how to escalate to sex FAST. And most of all, it teaches you how to KILL your fear of rejection! The best part - it has WEEKLY EXERCISES to help you master each skill set.

Check it out now, it's free. And good luck in all your future sarges, hope to see you on these forums.

No no. This is absolutely not an an insult. I feel like a lot of people get into this believing there is no such thing as failure and then break down after their first sarge. The fact that you put yourself back together is a great example of what all the chumps on this forum need to do. You reached a point where you had to decide between giving up or pushing forward but you had the courage to keep going.

Good luck. Keep working at it.

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Love, KATA124

I'd suggest reading some books about self improvement, not just ones about picking up women. That's what I mean by inner game, being happy and confident with yourself. When you're truly happy, when you truly know yourself, when you can laugh at your mistakes and learn from them, when you can acknowledge your strengths and successes, THAT'S what makes you a truly attractive person. Love thy self and others will love you too.

I highly recommend Awaken the Giant Within and it was recommended to me by The Doctor, who is another moderator and highly esteemed member here.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I just bought it off of Amazon. I also bought MM.. figured if anything it would be a good read. I have been reading Rules of the Game recently trying to follow that pattern but I haven't had the 30 days set aside to do it yet. Thank you so much man!!

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My attitude towards talking to woman. When I approach a HB one phrase is going in my mind.
"What are they gonna do? Not be my friend?"