Hi,
My name is Mike and I'm not really looking to become a PUA or anything, sleeping w/ a different girl every night or every week is not something I really want in my life. However, I recently met an awesome girl who I'd be interested in building a LTR with so here's the scenerio.

I first met her on Saturday night, I was having a few people over at my house for a few beers and I called my friend (let's call him K) who ended up bringing a female acquaintance (let's call her M). K is a very close mate of mine and at the time I was under the impression that he was pursuing this girl. Anyway, the night rolls on and people leave and soon it's just K, M, and myself sipping on beers and passing a bowl. We end up having a cool talk, and throughout the night I was pretty funny and engaged her in some deep conversation. As the conversation went along I realized this girl was special, I got the feeling our connection was growing pretty strong. I threw in some negs, made some jokes, even got into some basic kino (fist pounds, high fives, and at the end of the night I made a point to give her a hug).

The next day I talked w/ K and made sure it was cool with him if I pursued this girl, so that night I found her on facebook, and friend requested her. She accepted the next morning (Monday). I was pretty busy that day so I made no further contact (though perhaps I should have). So on Tuesday she posts a generic "hey, what's up" message on my wall, and later on I reply telling her I will give her a call soon. That night I end up chillin with a couple friends and smoking a bit of green, and when I got home I decided to call her. Maybe a bad idea in retrospect as I wasn't in full control of my mind and confidence at the time, but whatever it happened. I talked to her around 11:30ish at night and after some bs small talk I ended up asking her to hang out. I end up tellin her tomorrow at around 7-8pm, and that I'll call her back. Overall the call was ok, I neged her and I made her laugh a bit (though some of the laughs seemed forced, dunno if that's a good or bad sign). Also I didn't really have any real transition from bs convo to asking her out, but whatever she agreed anyway.

So tonight I wait till around 7:20ish and call her. She doesn't pick up, and several minutes after I get a text from her claiming that she "forgot she had some family thing to do tonight, but she'd call me later." This was a pretty terrible sign as when we were talking the night before we talked about how she has a planner (I poked some light fun at that fact). So to me this seems like a very obvious "I wanna get to know u better, but I'm not sure..." So I texted back, "lol cool..... but i gotta ask, what good is a planner if you don't write stuff like this down in it? " She didn't text anything back.

So here are my questions: 1) Is all hope with this girl lost? 2) Is there anything I can do at this point to make a meeting happen? I'm very confident if I could meet this girl once I can build a strong rapport with her. 3) Right now I'm thinking the best thing I can do is nothing, the last time something like this happened I ended up over-reacting and showing the girl massive AFC insecurity to which she replied that I was "clingy" and, well, I'm sure you know what happened. So, am I right, should I just do nothing at this point, or is there something I can do?

Hopefully, someone replies ASAP cuz it would be nice to be armed with some info if/when she does call me back.

Peace,
Mike

You were just horny.

The only way I know of to GET a girlfriend is to not WANT a girlfried. You can't give off the vibe that you want to be with her yet. Qualify her... send her a text one night like "...bring batteries, a smile, I'll bring the stereo. Meet me at ______" (outdoor setting at night, beach, park, etc..)

If she texts you back any excuses or WHY questions, tell her that she seemed like a spontaneous, adventurous girl, blah, blah, blah, and forget it.

If shes down... meet her at the park. Place the batteries in the stereo, drink some brews, dance a bit and just VIBE out. The whole point is to bring her into YOUR reality as if this is the type of thing you do on the regular. It's a date... but really... its not a date. Just two grown folks gettin' together and vibing. Just don't come off as if you want her, play it chilly.

"I end up tellin her tomorrow at around 7-8pm, and that I'll call her back. "


bad move my friend, thats asking for a flake! you gotta be a man about it, how i get all my dates, I see them in person usually tell them im coming to their house at a specific time and then joke about killing them if they call and cancel. then show up at the preselected time and she will be there.


your good. i know its one-itis everyone on these goddamn fourms is going to blindly lead you into giving up. but i just had a remarkably simular experience and it all worked out. but you gotta give her a break a couple of days my friend. just lay back smoke a couple of doobies and let her come to you.

ifshe doesnt call you back go leave a message saying: "what? playing hard to get already? gimme a call or i'll kill you (and say) lol) lol just leave the last part out already actually i've never threatened to kill a girl so dont use that but it seems pretty funny though. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttssssssssss allllllllllllllllllllllll gooooooooooooooooood.

You don't seem to have to much AA. Your problem is mindset and lack of knowledge.

NEVER put the power of the phone into her hands. That means don't give her you number and don't tell her you're going to call her back. Ask for her number and call her without warning.

Well since you already screwed that up here's what you can do:

IF SHE CALLS YOU BACK: Punishment/reward. "Look I'm happy you're getting on fine without me. Just let me know whether or not I should call up somebody else because I don't feel like showing you interest when you don't show it back."

IF SHE DOESN'T CALL YOU BACK: Get K to bring her over to another party. Ignore her but get in her face. Show her that everybody is paying attention to you but you're not paying attention to her. DO NOT say hi unless she comes up to you from a distance and says hi to you.

Good luck.

_________________
Love, KATA124

Thanks for the replies guys, any and all other tips are welcome. The situation seems under control at this point. She called me back and her reason seemed legit. I obviously over reacted a little, but I don't think I've done anything retarded, we're on for tomorrow night.

I realize this is a case of oneitis, and it might turn out this girl ain't nothing special. I know how to act, not to let her know how I feel yet, shit for all I know "how I feel" is probably gonna change once I get to know her better. However she's not that good looking, six at best (so I doubt it was hornyness, coulda been though). I'm really attracted to her mind though, she seems like an insanely smart girl.

On that note, I'm very inexperienced with girls obviously. But my mindset is changing recently. I know that she's not the special one, I am. I'm not after her, she's after me. And if she's not, oh well her loss. Anyway, thanks again. Maybe I'll post an update on how shit went afterward if anyone is interested.

Peace,
Mike

I'm interested in seeing where this goes.

_________________
Love, KATA124