There is a problem that almost all guys face when they game a girl....

I call this the 'Ambiguous Zone' (originally coined by Alan Currie). This is when you have met a girl, but you don't know what exactly she wants from you...i.e. does she want to be 'just friends', fuck buddies, or have a long term relationship, etc?

In short....you've gamed a girl....but you have no clue what she wants from you. She's left you in that 'ambiguous zone'.

I honestly believe this is one of the biggest problems we all face.

Say you meet a girl, have a really good interaction, then exchange numbers? Most guys would automatically assume that means she's interested in you in a sexual way. But that is not always the case. I've found that many girls will flirt with you and talk to you and exchange numbers, when they don't see you in a sexual way and they have no intention of meeting up with you again or have sex with you.

Or say a girl agrees to meet you for a day 2 - does that automatically mean she views you as more than a friend? Not necessarily.

Or say you get a girl's email address and you email back and forth for a while, flirting a bit and getting to know each other. Does that mean she wants to fuck you or just be friends?

How many times have you met girls and ended up with nothing more than an 'orbitor'. An 'orbitor' is a girl who talks to you, texts you/emails you etc, but never actually agrees to meet up and never wants to do anything sexual with you. Meanwhile, she 'strings you along', so you talk to her with the (false) hope that one day things will escalate beyond the platonic realm.

I look back to the interactions I've had with girls where it didn't go anywhere and there was confusion about what the girls wanted from me, and it ALWAYS boils down to the same problem....the AMBIGUOUS ZONE!

Now I don't want to turn this discussion into an 'indirect vs Direct' discussion, however if you go indirect with a girl then you leave yourself susceptable to this ambiguous zone.

Whereas if you approach a girl Direct, you find out where you both stand, thus avoiding the ambiguous zone hell.

This is probably the number one reason why I gave up indirect and now approach girls Direct.

Anyway, back to the topic...just how do you avoid this ambiguous zone hell?

I don't know about you lot, but if I spend weeks 'courting' a woman, only to find out that all along she wanted to be 'just friends', I feel bitter and annoyed for wasting so much time and for her stringing me along. But whenever I push through fear and tell a woman upfront what I'm really looking for, I always feel fine, even if my interests are not reciprocated. I can just move onto another woman without wasting time, so I can eventually find someone who is genuinelly interested in me.

We need to discuss this and share all our ideas, as this is a MASSIVE PROBLEM for all.

in my mind the only way to avoid this zone is thru the realization of what are IOI's and what are not. i completely agree with all the information relating to and describing IOI's. there are times however that a woman can be giving off what we would all believe to be IOI's but at the same time not have any intentions of following thru on them. from what i have found is the only way i have been able to avoid even touching this zone is merely to get them to supplicate to me when we reach this zone. i will cancel dates, change times, not return calls or texts, and will give them little attention when we run into each other in common places if i feel even remotely strung around. by doing this im able to easily establish which ones are actually into me, or just want to form a valid friendship.

now dont get em wrong i still make them effort and let them know i am interested, this has to be done in moderation and situationally. but i do it in a way to show them, "hey im not your lap dog, im not your toy, either you want me or you dont." i also make sure that every woman i talk to knows i am talking to other women. this for me weeds out the ones who are wanting more, wanting less etc. its easy this way to find the girls who want something long term with you from what i find, the ones who get mad or annoyed normally arent to fond of sharing you. the ones who are neither good nor bad on it are the ideal ones to get to supplicate from my findings. although the first one would seem more logical to get to supplicate they will actually try and get you to prove to them they are the only one. the middle one knows your a challenge, knows your there, but knows shes not the only one in line. and the ones who just blatantly dont care i dont stress too much time on, becuz they seem to be more effort to isolate from other guys and rarely do i find hb8.5+'s that are in the i dont care bracket.

Hey, thanks for your reply. I have a question for you...you say 'Always make sure every girl I talk to knows I'm talking to other women'.

What is the best way to tell a girl you're talking to other girls? Do you just say 'I'm talking to other girls' or do you just imply it or what?

Good question Guitar wizz. I was just about to ask the same thing! How do you let them know that you are seeing/speaking to other women?

i go thru basic implication, its a very touchy and rough subject that can easily blow up and make you lose the pick up. i normally will imply it but if you have solid social networking within the town its even more effective. i will normally try and meet with the girl at a social place im familiar with. that way i am able to interact wtih guys and girls using DHV techniques and getting her to see that there are other people i can and do talk to. ill also use lil negs using C&F here and then especially with girls who are overly confident they ahve you in the bag. just something that implies you are talking to other girls, but i try and avoid any initmate implications. what i have noticed is that when i make those implications they are turned away cuz they go to "hes a player" status.

for example last night K-closed a HB8 and took her to bed (no F-close yet). it was at a black light party i threw and the way i did it here, which was purely situational, is i had my best female friend write on my arm "man slut". when the HB8 asked about it i explained to her i had that rep just becuz i was known for bringing the most girls to parties not for being permiscuous. of course she questioned it, but i just used C&F to clear up any doubt. she said at one point "im sure you take all kinds of girls to bed with you, i dont know if im safe in there." and i responded with " no only the fat and ugly ones, the hot ones get clingy and dont try as hard." smirked and walked in and she didnt even hesitate to follow. hope that answers the question decently lol.

One way of setting the level of relationship on your terms is through contact between day 2s up to general meets. Working on scale of;

Exclusive relationship> Non exclusive Relationship>Open Relationship> FBs

For the general relationship to be sent the way of an exclusive relationship more contact is required in between meet ups than for a relationship , more for a non exclusive relationship than for and open one and so on.

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Note to self: Reffering to Chief by something other than his name has the knock on effect of strolling into the chat room and being asked; 'Crumpetberry are you a single hippie looking for a man'