Hi there,

don't know if this is the right section, but i couldn't create a topic in the field report section.
Im a new member, and so...

Anyway, I have a slight problem with this girl (duh!).
She and I are really really good friends, in fact she is my best female
friend, for 4 years already now. I never tried to start up smth
with her, or anything, in fact I helped her out a lot of times with her old
bf (who is also one of my best friends) and we really get each other.
well a year ago she went to study abroad, and there she got a new bf,
who is apparently a really nice cool guy. an alpha male from all the
descriptions i heard of her...
she came back for vacation this summer, and i spent a lot of time hanging
with her, and slowly i started to feel attracted to her, not only her
body, but also recognizing the how great we would be together as a
real couple. She said she felt lonely, missing her bf (who she is only gonna see
every 6 months from now, he went back to his country),
and also having sexual needs. I think that was a more or less concious
attempt of insinuation and mindfucking me thinking about her in a different light...

Hehe and it worked, since we are so open to each other and always have fun talk
she started writing me playful horny messages over the phone.
I came to the point of serious talk if we should hook up and have fun as long as she
is here. The next day i came over to her place and made out with her, and over
the next 2 days the same. I never rushed sex (im a virgin) and just spent time
with her, making out and having super great rapport talking about stuff.
So over those 3 days I had a lot of emotions etc. But then she started getting
uncomfortable, because she was thinking of her bf, whom she really loves.
I then said that we shouldnt do this if this is making her uncomfortable and messes
up her emotional state and all that. I believe i said that because of the part in me
that is the good selfless guy who cares about his best friend.
Then the other guy in me, who just wants her and get laid and be her bf,
came to word and i felt like shit the next few days...

As you can see im still an AFC. After those few days just trying to go back to friendship
she confessed that she loved the making out, and that i really turn her on, making a lot of
horny talk (everything over messages) etc.
So i thought cool so she is okay with it and wanted to start the fling again.
I meet her the next day and she isn't giving me any real signs that she wants me.
I do a little kino on her, but don't wanna talk about the horny talk of the previous night.
So i thought, im SPAM a lot and, as i read in "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene,
I create this barrier between us, saying that we cant be together, lets just be friends, right when
she writes me again that she wants me, just increasing her hunger for me.

It is unfortunate that i dont have much free time, because of studies, and she has some stuff
to do too, so i cant just go over to her place everyday.

Ok this is a real long post, hope u didnt get annoyed. I want some help and advice/suggestions
on how to turn this thing in my favor. Basically how to fuck-close her and kill those bad thoughts
in her backhead of her bf and sluttiness (she says smtimes she feels like a slut, ASD ofc)

thanks in advance,
base_player

The art of seduction is a great book, one of the best I’ve ever read. I don’t know how far you’ve gotten, but the end has a lot of helpful advice for f-closing. The only problem with the book is that it never addresses what to say/do once you’ve gotten a woman obsessed with you. That is where a book like “The Game”, “Mystery Method”, or “Juggler’s Method” comes into play.
But to save you some time, here is what you should do. She is exhibiting some of what is known as last minute resistance. Basically she doesn’t want to seem like a slut or a cheater, so she acts like she doesn’t want to sleep with you so she won’t feel bad about it later. She wants to sleep with you, she said it herself. She just wants to act like it wasn’t her fault and she tried not to (even though she didn’t sincerely try not to).
You don’t need to play anymore games really, she is willing to f-close. All you need to do now is make her feel like she is making the right decision.

The Art of Seduction recommends that you make her feel like its destiny that is driving you two together. Drown her mind in dazzling details (like a room full of candles, rose peddles, and soft music). Make everything seem like a dream.

Neil Strauss and Mystery suggest that you pursue like you did last time, but when she pulls away don’t beg, but rather agree and freeze her out (Be in close proximity to her after she shows resistance but stop kissing her or showing her affection. This will force her to show you affection and she will be less likely to stop since it was her idea to start again).

Juggler suggests that as she is stating why you two should sleep together, that you should agree with her with your words, but push forward with your actions. This sounds weird and almost rape-like, but it’s not. Apparently woman only want their protests to be heard and acknowledged, but they do not really want you to stop. They want their protests on record so that they don’t feel like a slut, but they still want to sleep with you. If you agree with them softly and with a sensual tone of voice, they will let you go as far as you want (neck kisses and ear nibbles are suggested at this point).

There are many different books with many different techniques on f-closing, but the main reoccurring them is when they say no, never become defensive and never argue or beg them. If you beg you will seem weak and they won’t want to sleep with you, and they only they only become defensive and stop if you disagree with them.

You need to stop being incongruent first of all. You keep switching between two opposing intentions and you even did it in your writing style when you typed that. You flip-flop from wanting her as your girlfriend and to have a relationship with her, to thinking about just wanting to fuck her. These aren't really that compatible from how I see you viewing it.

You are deep down wanting a relationship with her, seeing that you are both compatible, realising that this other guy is going to see her TWICE A YEAR and that eventually, some other guy is going to get her interested enough and get her to realise what a hard situation it is and she's going to go for him. You're backing off for noble reasons, but unfortunately the human heart tends to wander without contact. It has already!!! She wants to stay faithful sure, but if you were just a man about it and demonstrated what you wanted properly and didn't force her, but led her to see that she wants the same thing (pretty obvious from what I'm hearing), then she'll jump at it.

Now the worst part of this, is that you aren't letting her know you want a relationship (either that or you effectively lied about how you went about this whole thing), because you basically have proposed to her that you guys be fuck buddies, or friends with benifits; that's what the term "just have fun" means! She thinks you just want to fuck! She doesn't realise you care about her and so it's easy to turn it off. You've demonstrated with your actions, that you DON'T care enough to pursue her and overcome the obstacles; you gave up as soon as there was the slightest bit of resistance. BE A MAN! SHE WANTS YOU TO BE A MAN! SHE IS DYING FOR IT!

Sean Messenger said something really profound to me. I was about to ask a question and he probably knew what it was going to be, but I precursed it by saying, "I don't mean to presume..." and he said, "No. If you want something, then presume." You want her. You think she wants you too. Now you're afraid to presume. You want her, so presume.

And if I'm wrong, then stop saying you want a relationship and how much you like her and are attracted to her, then switch to saying "want to get laid with best friend," "how do I fuck-close her?" and "just have fun," cause it's very confusing and misleading to her, us and yourself.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

i agree

freeze out when she brings her boyfriend up, ignore the comment turn around and reach for something else, for example check your cellphone. Then look back at her resuming where u were before she brought up her boyfriend....she wont bring him up again.

With what? That was a fairly useless post.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye