I know for sure she will come back around...either by text message, AIM, Facebook, or calling me. It took me a 1 day freeze-out last time for her to miss me. She's gonna send something along "Hey, I haven't tty in a few" or "Hey stranger" (one of those type of lines). Her friends are gonna wanna go out with me later this week.

Just wondering if there's any way I can proceed from here. The only thing I messed up with was being to available I think. When we went out I got free drinks because I know the owner of the club. I get let in for free. The cab company woman knows me by name, I don't know if there can be more DHV haha.

Otherwise, lost cause, small case of one-itis, partially b/c she put up a bit of a fight unlike the other 4 girls I'm currently seeing. I also pulled 2 numbers in front of her last night. She is a very Alpha female, she gets what she wants type, so any enlightenment would be awesome...

as the other said u should build an extreme comfort zone but make sure that you talk about personnal things because u will be too friendly with her. Make sure there is something on u that is very mysterious.

Enjoy

Interesting, I like the approach. So she contacts me, I do my busy self - other women, classes, etc. I do want to proceed with caution and that's why I come here to ask you guys. I

text her back sometime afterwards, building comfort and fluff talk about what? Stupid things like funny movie lines? And don't ask to meet up until she offers to? That's the vibe I'm sensing. Also do I pretend like nothing happend when she tells me about my friend, which I know her conscience will make her? And play it off like oh well big deal, and just prove to be the better person? Alpha, fun, she can't live without me.

I'm a control freak as you can see and I have the other girls on me like white on rice, this is why I am going to lengths with her, I don't usually have a problem, but every once in a while, outside opinion is needed.

If you freeze her out for a couple days or a week and then show her attention when she tries to get you back, it will only make her power stronger. It is like a kid whinning for attention to his mom. The kid will whine and whine while the mom ignores it thinking it will stop, and finally when she cant take it anymore, she will give and and give the kid attention or whatever it is that they wanted. Now the kid knows, that eventually, whinning will break her down and they can get what they want.

So this girl will know that she can get the attention she wants out of you. She already has it now. And a freeze out wont change that. Don't bring in a 3rd party because the 3rd party will undoubtably talk to her about it and you will seem needy to her. If you talk to both of them about it, it will strengthen their bond because they will have a shared interest in this measure. Something for them to "gang" up on you about. Ya know?

Anyway, unless this girl is "the one" I would say to enjoy yourself and go meet new girls. And that was pretty lame of your friend if he knew about you two.

I like your train of thought thanks. I may not have given all the circumstances here. She just got out of a 3-4 year LTR and doesn't want anything serious. I kind of want to save her for an LTR for myself later, as she is nearly awesome gf material (minus the flaw of her not meeting other people when she was younger, she's 18 I'm 20). So I know she wants to meet people now, but will eventually succumb back to needing/wanting a bf in her life.

She apparently talked to a third party and feels horrible, as does the guy. They don't know that I know about them, which I was thinking I can play to my advantage. I can pretend like nothing happened, re-open her maybe at some point tomorrow or tuesday and go on like nothing happened.

Maybe the guilt will break her, or it won't...either way I can show that I would've tolerated any other guy, which we agreed to, although I didn't think it would be someone so close to me. And I can say it exactly like this, "Listen, we agreed that we'd be open to seeing other people, that's perfectly fine, but I didn't think it would be someone so close to me, that's just disappointing. It's not a big deal." Let her respond, change topic and pretend like nothing happened. Then go out later in the week and have her end up at my place again.

Or if at all, how can I keep her orbiting me for an LTR later on when she is ready?? In the meantime I'd definately be doing my single thing with the girls who don't really have much meaning to me, that's not a problem on my end, even with the bit of one-itis I can successfully, attract new girls when I want b/c of pickup.

What's your goal? Write it down. You want to LTR her. You want to hurt her back. You want to place her in your harem. . . Which is it? It doesn't really matter what your goal is as this isn't a place to judge "goals" but rather "strategy".

I just don't think "saving her as an LTR for later" is your goal that's all.

You're obviously a bit pissed and hurt by this whole thing but you're trying to act like a joe cool pua. "It's disappointing . . . It's not a big deal . . ." I mean this is the voice of a really confused kid. NOT alpha at all. Disappointment can be alpha . . . what's wrong with that? There is no now or later. If LTRing this girl is what you want, go for it. Just realize that the strategy is NOT the goal.

"One-itis" by definition is F'ing up your game due to your puppy love for one girl. There is nothing wrong however with allowing your desire for one girl to amp up your game and making her fall madly in love with you.

Not looking for a vengeance, although yes I am a bit disappointed.

I would like her back either as:

a) the fling we had going prior (we hookup, meet up for lunch, go dance, have fun, all's good girlfriend without title, I can meet other girls without restrictions and vice versa, this is what we had agreed to seeing each other and other people too) I just didn't expect one of them to be close to me, because that means she has to pick and choose or eventually her friends will call her a slut and she will feel like one, which ruins the awesome relationship I had going.

b) I do what you suggested, amp up my game and try to LTR even though she explicitly stated she doesn't want one right now, but wants to keep me around. This option, to me, is not smart.

The point is I have to get back into the realm of a. Any suggestions for that. My goal is getting her back into a fling with me, because that means I will always be an option in the future as we stay in touch, and I get my needs satisfied for now. Thanks a lot btw, really good input from everyone.

A quick fire solution to make any girl see you in a new light is to make her jealous. Its like a red hot poker up friendship's ass. I dont care how you do it, use another friend, a wing women, or even a hooker. Let her see you with another girl.

Also, act totally cool with being just friend with her. Never let her know is not what you want...

Listen I’ve delt with a mess of women with the exact same story. When they are young and naïve they think their relationship will last forever, then they get cheated on and their whole view of the world gets turned upside down. She is suffering from the dating equivalent of Post traumatic stress disorder. They usually go through a “no-boyfriend/I hate men” stage. At the same time they start experimenting and experiencing the world. They team up with a gaggle of whinny bitchy friends, go clubbing, and go through a string of one night stands. Eventually they get tired of all the skanky partying and want to get back into a Ltmr. That’s where you come in, all you have to do is get her to trust you. She is so worried that you will hurt here, that she will be giving you a ton of subtle tests to see if she can trust you or not. I don’t consider these shit test because she is not testing your compliance, she is testing your honesty. If you don’t come off as a player, she will trust you and you will have the girl. To get this girl you must be like Neil Strauss at the end of “The Game”.
BUT BE WARNED, these women are extremely defensive and self-conscious. She will never trust you, EVER. And she will most likely be hung up on the ex that left her for years, maybe even forever. Given the right opportunity, she will leave you for her ex. These women are a lot of trouble, and require a lot of patience; you have to ask yourself if its even worth it.