Make other people feel special, become more interesting.



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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:06 pm 
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So much pua material out there is about being interesting. Unique. Special. So I started thinking, what if you could make other people feel that way? Wouldn't that make you more interesting? Wouldn't that draw more people to you?

So i found this article/blog and I basically highlighted the part that I thought was most interesting..... Ideas like this make me think that making a woman feel like she is the center of the world, the way no one else can, she may make you the center of her world..
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When I think back on the highest points in my life, I recall the times when my apparent specialness has been affirmed by people and/or events such receiving special recognition, awards, birthday parties, engagement, my wedding, arriving in Israel, etc.

But there have also been plenty of less momentous (but equally memorable) events that have reinforced that secret feeling of being special.

These have been the countless conversations I've had with people over the years where they have made me feel that I am the most interesting person they have ever met. It is only now at middle age that I realize that what is truly special is a person's ability to extend themselves across interpersonal space and make someone else feel like the center of the universe.

It is only when speaking with a less-well-mannered (or perhaps more self-absorbed) person that one realizes that this ability to make someone standing across from you feel absolutely special and unique is - in and of itself - fairly special and unique.
Article here
http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz ... ance-.html

CK

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 3:10 am 
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That idealogy definitely sounds interesting and altruistic in a sense. Harmonious comes to mind when no one is being competitive and having judgements being made on whether someone is good/bad, high value/low value/, interesting/not interesting.

But isn't the PUA mindset all about "US" being the prize? We are the ones that are supposed to be SO interesting, that we are the ones on the pedestal, ....if you always strived to make someone ELSE feel interesting....negs/dhv/push-pull would no longer work. Why would you want to pull on someone if they are so fucking special? And isn't that the essential for attraction to take place ...."having someone of higher value give you the time of day, in hope of maybe having their value brush off on to you"? Everyone is always trying to increase their value, more women, more knowledge, bigger muscles, better on piano, etc.

This sounds good maybe AFTER a relationship has been established, but when you just meet someone, if you're all up telling them how amazing they are, isn't that what AFC's do?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:10 am 
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Quote:
That idealogy definitely sounds interesting and altruistic in a sense. Harmonious comes to mind when no one is being competitive and having judgements being made on whether someone is good/bad, high value/low value/, interesting/not interesting.

But isn't the PUA mindset all about "US" being the prize? We are the ones that are supposed to be SO interesting, that we are the ones on the pedestal, ....if you always strived to make someone ELSE feel interesting....negs/dhv/push-pull would no longer work. Why would you want to pull on someone if they are so fucking special? And isn't that the essential for attraction to take place ...."having someone of higher value give you the time of day, in hope of maybe having their value brush off on to you"? Everyone is always trying to increase their value, more women, more knowledge, bigger muscles, better on piano, etc.

This sounds good maybe AFTER a relationship has been established, but when you just meet someone, if you're all up telling them how amazing they are, isn't that what AFC's do?

I totally agree and if u put in all your time and energy into making someone (who may not be a great human being or classy etc.) feel special and act like they are the centre of your universe , won't you be sucking up to them? Won't you creep them out? Won't you distract yourself from your long term goals (career etc.) , and ruining your own life and wasting time and what not? Doesn't that give other people the chance to exploit and hurt you beyond limits?
Just being frank CK, hope for an interesting response from your side.


P.S. Just one more request CK, I am sure a lot of us will benefit if you could post the topic "IOIs : The completed List" here in the pua lounge as well, Thanks.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:18 pm 
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I believe its a good point, you can make some1 feel really special and unique and interesting, but make sure you are always the one who is more special, unique and interesting.

Its like giving some1 lots of attention and making them feel special and telling everyone how great they are because they won the silver medal, but you are still the one with the gold.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 5:28 pm 
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Quote:

This sounds good maybe AFTER a relationship has been established, but when you just meet someone, if you're all up telling them how amazing they are, isn't that what AFC's do?
You're not just going up to them and telling them that they're amazing. You're making them feel good about themselves, which not the average person can do. Can you imagine someone making you feel that way, and then feeling nothing for them. Your adding value to them and that is were the result comes from.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:36 am 
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its all about timing. its basically comfort material what you are talking about

dont do it at the start, but you dont have to wait for the relationship

it works great after:
1 - you got her attracted to you (A2)
2 - you qualified her (A3)

if you've been an ass in A2, she'll perceive you as high value (and her own value as low value).

in A3 you give her a chance to prove herself, if she can live up to your standards...
If so... (if she is qualified)... then you are allowed to make her feel very special and she will be very grateful for it... (you have actually restored her value to the same level as yours, after she felt she had lower value for a while before that)

sometimes A2 can be skipped if she already likes you / she picked you from a distance for example

but you always need to qualify her before she deserves your special attention

and then it will hit her like da bomb!!
she 'll think: oowww wowww i really have what it takes for this impossible high value guy!! she'll be in love... ;)


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:59 pm 
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TheAce nailed it.

I probably should have used a different word besides "special". Anyway... When you ask a woman "Gimme 3 reasons why I should continue talking to you." You are not saying something interesting, really you are asking them how they see themselves. They are doing the work They are actually making themselves more interesting to, well, themselves.

Tell a woman "You're beautiful." Not very exciting/interesting. Sounds like your sucking up. "What makes you beautiful?" Said with the right tone, you are making her think what is good about herself and she ends up qualifying herself to you. You become the guy that stands out because you are giving them value in a way that no other guy has.

Tell a woman, in the right situation... "Wow, what is it? You are like gravity... Its like I'm just drawn to you... What is it about you that makes people want to be around you?" Its a bit of a heavy compliment, but the goal is to get them to think heavy about themselves.... so at the end of the night, they have this great feeling of "When I am around this guy, he makes me feel like the most interesting person in the world." That, inherently, makes you more interesting. Your value is raised in their eyes.

And DJ, its not my place to copy and paste other peoples posts... i guess if you want to see the list of IOI's you have to join the PMZ. Sorry bro.

CK

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:48 pm 
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I think CK hit this one dead on.

Approach through to the begining of A3 is al about conveying yourself as an authority, a high value person whose opinion and time matter. If you have successfully pulled this off, then what are you going to do with it? Use that authority and value to male her feel amazing. Thats what A3 is all about. When you do this, you don't lose value, you actually gain it. The untouchable amazing guy, is not going home with anyone. The amazing guy whom the girl can reach, is getting laid. You give her an opportunity to win you over. She does. She feels great about herself. You are the prize she wins. Both of you walk out of the venue feeling like you are the two cool people there that evening. Win Win. Kudos CK for bringing up making others feel better. This is not just manipulation and tactics. This is all about making yourself the person everyone wants to be around.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:24 pm 
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CK, thanks for a more in dept view on "Male to female interest! :D


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