Hey guys I was able to set up a day 2 night date up with this really cute girl that I had 2 really good phone convos with. So we went out with some of her friends, gamed the whole group, including the jealous ex-nonboyfriend. (not sure what the deal was here, but it was obvious they had never been together). Ran really good kino all night: Hand holding, arm around shoulder(which was reciprocated), I even playfully grabbed her ass once and she didn't object too much. We end up back at her apartment, and I finally kiss her, and we make out for a little while. I even do push pull on her...literally. I would push her away and then when she got moody I would just pull her back in for another kiss. Before we continue, she says she doesn't want to sleep with me, because we had a really good vibe going and she didn't want to ruin anything by going too fast too soon. I actually agreed, (for real) but we kept making out and getting closer and closer, with playful dirty talk. She then tells me she likes it rough, I say "I'll remember that next time ".

So flash forward, we talk on the phone the next few days and she says to me, "You know you could have gotten anything from me the other night but you didn't and I really respect you for that." We had talked (sort of) about her relationship past and this girl really doesn't want to get hurt again so she's really having a hard time putting herself out there again (I was the same way once) and ever since then, she's been really cold. We hung out again tonight to play some volleyball with some people, but she didn't hardly acknowledge me all night.

The truth is, this is the first girl that I have really connected with this well since I started on this journey and I don't want to let her slip away. Save all the "One-itis" stuff...I know I have a mild case of it.

I guess my questions are: "Should I have gone ahead and slept with her that night?" Was it token resistance and I just missed the opportunity?

It just sucks that we really connect and get along but she's too timid to take a chance on another guy. But, I'm not another guy... I just can't get her to see that.

So what's my play? I'm seriously tired of "cutting my losses" and playing the numbers game. I've finally been able to use my confidence and skill to get what I think is a "catch" I don't think the answer is "sarge more". Or maybe it is. I don't think this one needs saving: if it did I would already move on. I just need to build more comfort/trust/rapport.
Any and all feedback is more than welcome here.

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Happy Hunting Comrades! -Shreder

Meet up with her again, without really bringing up the topic of "you two".

Charm the living daylights out of her and casually mention some of the fascinating things you're doing in your life at the moment blah blah.

After a couple of drinks use the ol' routines to get her back where you had her before. She'll probably be a bit more mellow this time.

If she's still all 'sensitive' then find some kind of relevant, profound philosophical quote you can tell her off the top of your head or read out of a book back at yours. Girls love that shit if you execute it properly, as long as it's the right kind of thing, not any of that shallow self-help crap.

She put herself out there and practically begged for sex but you denied her. Freeze out is what you do to women who are COLD to your advances.

I know this might sound weird but the way she probably summarized that night emotionally was that you made her feel like an ugly slut. She probably felt she turned you off with the "I like it rough" comment.

Mistake #2. She gave you another chance! She tells you, "You could have had me . . . " Jesus . . . she doesn't want to hear from you that you respect her blah blah blah. She wants to hear something like, "Are you kidding!?! I was so hot for you I though I was going to bust! I'm practically popping a boner right now just thinking about how hot you were. This gentleman business is definitely no fun." (This wasn't the time to neg or act cool. She put herself out there and you needed to return the ball to her court to restore some balance)

Her likely response, "Oh . . . you'll get your chance . . . "

I think this is going to be a tough recovery because nobody brings up topics like "I like it rough" during a coffee conversation. In her mind, she already knows you told all of your friends about, "I like it rough . . . " She already knows that you guys laughed about it over beers. The TRUTH doesn't matter. This is the way women function.

I think I'd wait a while before meeting up with her again. Let her sift some of these current awkwardness out of her system. Then try starting from scratch. But man . . . this one's a pickle . . .

And Boom!!!!! The bomb is dropped son!!!!!

Absolute perfect advice.

When she said "I like it rough...." you should have taken her at that point. Thats your invitation for sex right there. You were probably thinking "Great! She likes it rough! That will be sweet next time we are at this point laying on her bed. Its gonna be Awesome!"

My best advice... Advance until she says no. She may have said its not gonna happen that night, but you should have kept going after you started making out again. Advance advance advance.....

Follow Kasabi's advice. He knows what he is talkin bout.

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.