Please refer to my other thread ("Converting an LJBF into a sexual relationship" in Newbie Questions) for background on what lead to this post.

I figured this topic deserved its own, since rAFCs like myself may feel guilty about not acting like a Nice Guy anymore; moving towards the Jerk end of the spectrum (but not becoming a Jerk) may still arouse uncomfortable feelings.

Anyway, after creating the right situation and giving an LJBF girl the ultimatum (either we can start hooking up or we can stop being friends), I began to feel guilty. I thought, have I put too much pressure on her? Will that create negative feelings? Will those feelings translate into her badmouthing me to her friends, some of whom are also my friends?

I felt guilty, unsure, and nervous for the rest of the day after giving the ultimatum. The day after, though, I remembered so much of what I had read from various PUA sources. Here's what I kept in mind:

1) A PUA's happiness is internally generated and does NOT depend on external, exogenous factors (girls, but also other random events and conditions).

2) Smiling goes a long way. Anytime I found myself feeling bad, I just smiled. The bad feelings soon abated, and now I'm feeling confident and content.

3) No matter what happens in the end, I will learn from this event. This learning experience will help me become a successful PUA.

4) So much of staying confident is putting positive spin on what AFCs would see as undeniably negative events.


So remember: you control your life. You can become happy and guilt-free if you will it.

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If you've never failed, you've never lived.