You heard it, It's fucked me up! Why? I used to go out to clubs, have a good time even without talking to girls or anything like that. Now I get all nervous and shit, trying to remember openers, routines, negs, etc. etc. Knowing all this stuff is only making me nervous! I can't go around talking to complete strangers, I can't spit out DHV routines that aren't even true, I can't neg girls I don't even know, I can't I can't I can't, I-JUST-CAN'T-DO-IT!

Please help me, I'm fucked!

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"Give a man fire and he's warm for a day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life" - Terry Pratchett

There are some great articles on this forum about inner game.
You should fix that first before worrying about your openers, negs etc.

Don't over analysis the situation. Calm down...maybe read some more material, try approaches outside of clubs, do stupid things like approaching random girls and saying "I like salad". Just, its a game. An fantastic game, but, sometimes it helps to separate player and person.

Its not what you say its how you say it. Dont act higher value, be higher value. Dont spit made up DHV's, live life and have your own.

In short, get an attactive lifestyle. Be confident etc etc. Rest will just work.

Madals

I've said it before and I'll say it again - cheat sheets, dude.

Hell, work on it bit by bit. Memorise your openers, have them on the cheat sheet and go out with the aim of running openers and ejecting. You'll memorise them and get used to using them on strangers and then you can start working on the next stages. This way you only have a couple of things to try to remember (and write on your cheat sheet) at a time.

BTW, love the quote - I'm a major fan of Pratchett.

Peace.

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"Plan only what you must and live for the present - for tomorrow everything could change." - Personal Motto.

DON'T DO THIS.

I do not want your blame, we provided information, YOU implemented it. You are a man, you have to take responsility for your actions.

Now we have that sorted.

1. If the DHV story isn't true don't use it, surely you've done something cool with your life that you want to share? If not do something cool with your life.
2. Break your AA, one step at a time dude. If you're not enjoying sarging you haven't broken your AA, or your not approaching girls that you like.
3. You looked at any other styles except Mystery method? If you don't like the concept of negging like many other PUA's don't use it.

As for talking to strangers. Define stranger, EVERYONE in your life was a stranger until you spoke to them.

yeah bro i started with MM but that shit aint my style, juggler and gunwitch is more me. Dont ever use made up DHV that shit will fuck you up, girl will sense that you are saying something that is not congruent with you. Be yourself just include the shit you learn in your personality and go with the flow, dont try to be something you are not.

I'd agree with all the inner game tips.

In fact, don't worry about PUA at all for the time being. Work on your confidence level with books/tapes/DVDs/CDs about presentations, gaining rapport, discovering self confidence, etc. That's the stage I'm on, and let me tell you personally that I've seen a ridiculous difference in my personality and ambitions for the better. I used to be a talented but depressed teen and my depression held me back. I've read countless e-books, watched seminars from a bunch of people, listened to Tony Robbins/other self help CDs, etc. since, and I feel immensely more confident. Every time the guru mentions something I've had a problem with, it just feels more personal to me and helps even more.

Don't worry about PU for now, work on your confidence and self esteem til you're comfortable with yourself, and when that day comes you won't care what others think about you, because if they reject you it's their loss, right?

Check out RSDs Foundations. I know there are some RSD haters out there, but I'm only into the third DVD and I can say already that it's a really useful seminar, especially for the beliefs that hold you back.

Dude,

I hear you on this one.

Many many PUA's end up freaking out.

Heck I asked a student if they could open a girl by asking where starbucks was and he freaked out.

I asked him if he would have freaked out 6 month prior to the game and he said of course not.

Man the community has a way of weirding people out and making people weird.

Its because of High energy energizer bunny game, and fake routines and lines that we don't associate with.

People are always telling us to be ourselves, yet the community almost teaches us to be anything but that.

Start like this. Find out WHO you are first.

Take some female friends who you know (i'm assuming you have some as you seem pretty sociable from before the game) and go out to a bar. Don't approach anyone, just enjoy flirting with your friends, dancing and maybe even helping them pull.

If you see any girls you like, flirt with your eyes and smile...don't approach. just enjoy being with your female friends and smiling at other girls, with confidence. COnfidence that comes from the fact that you have a group of girls with you and don't need to approach.

Then do this again.

Except the next time you do it as you're eye flirting with the girls around you, if you notice they happen to give proximity, take the time to say Hi, my name is (insert name here) what's yours? and whats the ocasion tonight?

DOn't have anything else planned, don't use routines.

If you run out of things to say simply say...

anyway I don't want to ignore my friends much longer but it was lovely chatting to you, come back and say hi later on in the night.

If she does, she likes you.

If she doesn;t don't worry


you have your own female friends to party with.

Enjoy partying with them...everything else is given off subconsciously.

Hope this helps man


AFC Adam,

I see your point man... But I have to tell you something important. You have missed a great big part of the game.

Many rAFCs misinterpret the game as manipulation and lies. It is not true, dont fall for it. Sure, it can be used like that if you dont know who you are and where you are going but! BUT!
The game is a skillset designed to make you behave in a way that will not freak girls out. You have to understand the point of all these routines and negs etc etc.

DHV stories are NOT only a way to demonstrate higher value! It is a way to show YOUR personality! To demonstrate the unique being that you are. This is why you never use anybody elses DHV stories. You and everybody else in this world have unique experiences and every single one of us have faced interesting situations, you just have to dig deep enough. Heck, you can even make a DHV story about meeting a friend at the bus station.

As far as NEGs and Disqualifications go... I know Mystery teaches that it brings her value down to your level etc etc. BUT he frequently uses the term percieved value. This means the value she believes you to have and that she thinks that she has. In reality, our values depend on the situation, you are far more valuable to the world in some situations and she is far more valuable to the world in other. So basically what she does (subconsciously) is to bring you into her world where she has the higher value and you will be rated in the night-club situation. Negging and disqualification neutralises that. You refuse to play HER game! You refuse to acknowledge that she is better than you. Is that evil or manipulative? NO! It is only fair!

As far as I am concerned. The game is about people interacting socially. One a PUA who understands how to NOT make people feel threatened by his presence. Are you dangerous? Will you do things to the girl that she has not agreed on? If yes... Youre a bastard. If not... You are just a nice guy who happen to talk to her, make her feel good and see where it leads. If you wont do anything she objects to, she does not need to feel threatened. Remember, she can say no at ANY stage of the game. I say, by learning the game saves the girls a lot of stress and anxiety. We are doing them a favor. Maybe it is not our right but our responsibility to learn it.

Nervous? The others have just told you about inner game. There are a lot of good inner game stuff on this forum but the most important thing to realize is that a rejection from any random HB out there does not mean anything. Unless you are emotionally invested in a girl (GF, friend, pivot etc) what does it matter. She may tell you to drop dead or beat it, she may laugh at you. WHY should you care, she is just some girl with no idea who you are, no idea what your value is. Its her loss!

Hang in there bro!

Love,
Ezo

Thanks for the great responses guys. I kinda freaked out that day cuz I was going out that night and was dreading it. I did out and had a good time, but without approaching anyone whatsoever. Then I decided I'd lay down all the facts that could have anything to do with me freaking out about this shit. So here's the deal.

To tell the truth, I'm not so fond of clubs. I'm a more of a bluesman, a guitar kind of guy and all that trance music and everything around it doesn't mean shit to me. I just used to go out to clubs with friends once in awhile but to me, nothing beats a good blues song. So going to a place like that, with guys acting all tough for the girls, and girls covered in make-up, I don't feel I'm in the right place. I don't feel like I belong there, you know? So I can't get comfortable and freak out (usually by drinking lots and lots of alcohol).

Second, I realized I never learned to convey my personality. In conversations, I'm usually the guy who listens, unless the other party displays interest in me and who I am. It's just that when they don't, I just assume that they're not interested. This is not a healthy mindset is it? Still, It's not that my life is uninteresting. I play guitar, am taking singing lessons, go to the gym and in a couple of months, I'm going to Australia for one year to work and backpack across the country. That's gotta be something, right? Plus, my biggest passion in life is music, especially the blues. I love talking about that passion, but just can't see that anyone in a club could be interested in this. As I said, It's a whole different world, and how can possibly describe something I love to someone who has no idea who Stevie Ray Vaughn or John Lee Hooker is?

Third, being around alpha males... It gets me down. I know this is wrong but it just does, okay? It's not even because of there appearance, since I'm confident enough about mine. It's just that, hearing them talk about certain topics with so much confidence in their words, I feel... less intelligent. Stupid, huh? I don't know anything about cars, sports or anything like that simply because they don't interest me. I keep thinking, maybe I should just start reading sports magazines just to keep up with things. On the other hand, doesn't that give me a weak frame, simply giving in to others like that? I don't know...

Anyway, I guess that's the who about me. Now it's time for the what, right? Once again, thanks for the great advice everyone. I'll use it the best way I can.

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"Give a man fire and he's warm for a day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life" - Terry Pratchett

Dude I play guitar aswell and I LOVE the blues (Stevie Ray Vaughan is pretty much my second favourite guitarist ever after Joe Satriani) so you are speaking my language here and I totally know what you mean about clubs. In clubs I find it near impossible to speak to people just because of the sheer noise, and also when most of the people there are into rnb/hiphop/techno etc it's a bit of a lost cause, infact last night I mentioned to a girl that I play guitar (DHV) but then she said she hated guitar music (turning it into a DLV in a way). I don't know much about Holland but I'm sure that there will be some rock/blues/jazz bars around so go to them and mingle with like minded people to yourself. As for talking about your guitar playing I have found it best to not mention individual artists that people may not have heard of, I have found it better to talk about how it makes you feel when you pick up the guitar and just start blazing away (especially when talking to girls about it) explain about say how you're always striving to get better etc.

Hope this helps bro.

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

The pua world hasn't fucked you up evryone has felt like that sometime in their lives but just relax. You don't have to remember openers just make them up on the spot.

Calm down read about some more inner game and keep trying!!