Can you pick up Radio stations with those ears.......


x_x

enough said

she was very subconsiouse about her promante ears......

chick found out i was going to ask her out and while at a club she came and gave me the friends talk.
i go i dont want to be ur friend i just want to fk u coz ur my neighbour and it would be convinient.

i think she has tried to forget it, we still friends, plus i hooked up with her bestie in front of her . maybe she thinks i was too trashed to remember lol.

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Its not failure, its a learning challenge.

HB: kiss me

Me: *scared shitless* uh, why?


gimme a break, I was 13

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If my post made me appear homosexual, I want you all to know that prior to sitting down at my computer I slammed 15 shots of whiskey, went balls-deep into my woman, and recited Clint Eastwood lines for 20 minutes.

Hahaha dude... I said exactly the same thing.

I had been chatting to this bird on msn for a while and i met her once and she seemed really awkward. I saw her walk past me once when i was pissed at a club.

Me: *taps shoulder* Hey Claire..

*she looks at me - about a 2 second pause (I am trying to think what the best thing to say in the situation is, and finally i find it)

Me: You suck. (deadly serious face and BL)

She pulled the finger right in my face, haven't talked to her since.

Two 18 year old girls hb7 and hb8 cross the street to talk to us as me and my buddy were heading home early after a fair few vodkas

both really slim and one has huge breasts the other has very small ones.. so I'm stood there looking one to the other and then I go to the small breasted one..

"whooa those are like tits (nod towards her more ample friend) but smaller!"

hb7 responds with "what these".. and gets them straight out in the street (small but perfectly formed I have to say)

we ended up in a club with them, they both were great fun and totally bi too.. oh bless what a fun night happened just from an insult

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if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.

I was fooling around with this chick and during foreplay the word "Giggity" jumped out of my mouth!
She saw the funny side thankfully!

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Veni Vidi Vici

I was text messaging this girl trying to get this girl to meet me at a club.

Me: Hey what r u doing U in Itaewon? Meet me at Halo Bar.

Her: No -at home with my sister. I'm not sure.

Me: Come out you'll have fun

Her: I think I have a cold.

Me: ...I think your cold has a dick.

I gamed two girls (one was a neighbor HB 6.5, the other was her somewhat tipsy friend HB 6) and soon had both of them lying on my bed with me...

Through what i still think to be some of the greatest madeup routines/games I've ever done, i had both girls in bras and panties, all foreplaying and whatnot.

Then..

for some WEIIIRD reason...

I said something completely useless..

super retarded..

simply ridiculous..


holding both of them against my half clothed body I said,

"ahhh, you girls... are 5's out of tens," With a huge smile on my face..

(WHY THE HELL DID THAT COME OUT?? LOL)

You could imagine what happened.. they both were like WTF??? both put their clothes on... and whatnot, telling eachother they should leave.

Then I pretty much did a coldfreeze... laid there on the bed all happy looking, apologized for the disrespect.. told them that it sucks they're about to go home empty handed n whatnot, cuz i already had a fun time.

Then one asked the other.. hmmm ________ so you think we should stay? her friend answered... well.. maybe 15 more minutes.

then i had my first threesome!!!!

lol

LoL u made my day...

For me

LM= lovemonkey
SFBTCOMW3OG=stupid fat bitch that cheated on me with 3 other guys( my first gf btw lol)


LM: Hey so valentines is comming up what do you want
SFBTCOMW3OG: oooo you don't have to get me anything
LM: k

lol! we broke up shortly :p

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I'd rather die like a Tiger than live like a Pussy!

I went out with this chick who worked at my blockbuster and at the end of the night we were making out.

Her: You seem more nervous than usual.
Me: Well this is the first time we don't have had a counter between us (Then I kindof gestured downward).
Her: (Looks down at both our crotches) I see (then gets distant)

Looking back I think I was trying to entice her, but now I realize I was just lame.

I thought of another one. Once I confess to this chick that I liked her right before she was suppose to come home from college for her brother’s high school grad party. I was all nervous when I saw her at the party and I don’t even bring up the email and then neither did she. Then after I send another email about how beautiful she looked at the party.
Turns out she never read the first email and didn’t even feel the same way about me. She was also all confused about why I didn’t say anything to her when I saw her at the party. The funny part was that I was all happy at the party and no one, including her, could figure out why. Her email hurt really bad and made me feel Very Very Stupid.

I was out on a day two with this girl at "I HOP" restauraunt.

She's laughing at everything I say and all this fun conversation/flirting/joking, when out of knowhere she blurts out,

GIRL:"HaHAHA AH AHHHAAA yeah, I was molested when I was 15."

ME:"HA ha ha HA, WAIT?!?!, WHAT?!?!, What just happened?!!!

She was totally serious about it though, it wasnt sarcasim, or a joke of anykind. After that the mood went south, and I was at a loss for words.

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looking at just a single leaf, you'll never discover the whole tree

Me, when I was an AFC: "....So, you're a girl huh?"

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"Who the f**k is Fanning?"

Her: Thats cool, you ran in the 5k for cancer research?
Me: Yup
Her: My aunt had cancer last year, and so did my dad
Me: Cool!


Funny thing is she kept smiling and thought I said something else, probably because she figured I wouldnt be THAT insensitive and stupid.

Ah man this one was hillarious... in your defence... wtf do you say to something like that!!! Like you can say... oh I'm so sorry or something like that but no one ever actually means that... or if they do it still comes out fake.