Fellow Forums Members,
I thank you all for enduring me for taking this leave from the community. As most of you know I've been keeping up with things but just haven't really been posting or been very active. Sometimes when you are caught up in things the best thing you can do is to take a step back and look at it. That is what I was doing with this break. I have come up with a lot of answers to the questions that I was asking myself. Here are some of the questions I was asking myself.
Is the community really helping me reach my goals in life and with women?
I believe that it is helping me. Since joining the community I no longer fear approaching women to talk to them. I don't feel as self concious when out in public gatherings. A lot of my fears about the opposite sex have been clarified. I know that I am an attractive guy that has a lot to offer a woman. I feel better about myself, having lost weight, and gained more confidence. I know I have the ability to attract women in a variety of ways.
Am I taking on too many projects? If so, what projects can I stop doing?
Yes, I am taking on too many tasks at once. I have stopped work on
www.JSmooth.Org it is something that I may later resume. I own the domain name and have access to put it back at anytime I want. This is something that I don't need to focus on at the moment. I don't need to worry about being a dating coach while I'm sorting out my own life.
I will continue to work on my blog. This doesn't take a lot of work and it's just one or two posts a week or whenever I feel like it.
How far do I want to go in the community as far as teaching or otherwise?
Some of this I am still working on. I am not completely sure how far I want to go with this. A large part of me loves to teach and to help other people. I love getting feedback from people I have helped one on one in field. It's a great feeling knowing that you are the one who helped them get that kiss or that number.
Even though I feel this way about helping people 1 x 1 it's not something I'm going to focus on. If you are in my city and would like to hang out with me then that's perfectly cool. Depending on how much I like you, I might even spot you a couch to sleep on. Sure we can talk game and I'm happy to help anyone that comes down as a friend. If you are wanting me to instruct you then we'll work on a fee.
If things like workshops should become available to me where I can go out and actively teach with other people in the community and I can make the time available then I will. However, I'm not going to actively look for opportunities all the time and put any unwanted stress on myself.
What do I like about the community and what do I dislike?
I love the community as a whole and the bond that we have with each other. I love helping guys and them telling me that something I said or told them to do worked "like a charm." It's very rewarding.
What do I not like? The HB Rating system, some of the terminology and ideas, PUA handle names, etc. I'll probably rant more about this stuff later on, mostly on my blog. Who knows some of it will probably wind up here as well.
Is it worth it for me to stay in the community?
Yes, at present it is worth it to me to stay with the community in general.
At what point am I going to leave the community if ever?
Unsure, probably when I hit a lasting relationship that is leading close to being 100% exclusive or if I get to the point I'm about to get married.
These are not all the questions that I pondered but are the main ones. I have listed the answers I have come up with as a way for you guys to understand why it was that I was taking a break. There has been a lot of discussion about this and some rumors going around that I think I should clarify right now.
First and foremost, there were things going on with my family and their illness that I needed to address. I needed to take some extra time and spend it with my close family. My father recently had some surgery that turned out well but this was putting some extra strain on me. In addition, my grandmother is loosing her mind slowly and it's been tough to deal with. My mother turned to me for help, and I need had to pull my weight.
Also, I had multiple projects I was involved in with the community. I have this forum I moderate on, another forum I post on, problems in the Nashville Lair, my blog, my website, and the lots of PM's, instant messages, and emails I receive for help. Not to mention the writing of newsletters and other projects I was working on. I have cut out some of the extra projects.
I was spending more time with the community that I was with the women and friends in my life. That was a red flag for me so I needed to get perspective.
There are a few other personal matters as well that I will not discuss here because they are private to me, and shall remain that way. This was about me needing to get a grip on things, and really nothing more. I had too much that I had to juggle in my mind so I had to sort things out and eliminate some of them to give priority to the important ones.
I appreciate all of your understanding and your kind words that you have sent to me privately and publicly on the forums.
Most Sincerely and Respectfully,
Jon