Hey guys. There are two things in my mind about being a PUA that calls for a discussion among the people here.

1.
A lot of PUA's here started out as "losers". They change their look, their style, what they say, how they say things, their posture etc. A lot of these changes are good, but recently, I read a post where someone tried to give tips to a newbie about becomming more Alpha in a social circle. He suggested that right when you enter a club/social gathering, you should talk to everybody, ESPECIALLY the popular kids, make them feel good about themselves, and in turn, they will raise your social status. DO NOT put them down.

I never had to rely on techniques like this, but as I read on, it totally reminded me of a male friend of mine that really disgusted me, once I learned about his true intentions and behavior. He sucked up to a lot of people, he would bend to their wishes, and even praise or offer extra help and act totally different to please the person. This got me thinking:

How far are you willing to go? How much are you willing to change?

I personally do not need to change my personality much to be more PUA-ish, but for those of you who do, what do you think about this?

2.
Another thing I had in mind was, the general feeling that I got from this forum, was that getting to know female strangers, seducing them and hooking up quick is no problem, but going after the girl of your dreams seems to be very hard for a PUA. How true would you say that is? Sure, you can try being C&F, use some routines, but a PUA's effectiveness drops if you're going after a specific girl you like. Am I missing something? Is there another school of self-helpers who teach the skill of going after the girl of your dreams, or does PUA need to develop into this field?

1. As long as you are not a tool, its fine.
Do NOT change into a tool like your friend did!

2.Bullshit! I'm entering an LTR with this great girl at the moment. All it requires is for you to be yourself.

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There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.

The girl of your dreams IS one of the girls you are picking up with this skillset. The game is not just there so you can fuck a lot of different women, it's there so that when the perfect woman comes along, you won't stumble and shoot yourself in the foot. If you are not finding women worth a long term relationship, then go to different locations. Maybe talk to girls on the street or at the shops, instead of just in bars and clubs.

Besides, my idea of "The girl of my dreams" has changed quite a bit since I started using the game.

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It is only in your failures that you have any chance of success

That's not what I mean. I mean having a target, AND THEN learning PUA, and then trying to apply PUA to this girl you knew from before.

Well that might get one step harder, but its definitely not impossible.

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There is NO secret ingredient. Theres just you.

I think you are going in a wrong direction with your choice of words. Use improving yourself instead of changing. Now lets ask the question again, how much are you willing to improve yourself? Would you be ready to study to increase your knowledge? Would you be ready to workout to improve your physics, learn more about style to improve your looks, learn more about social behavior to improve your social life?


This happens to many beginning PUAs, for some reason they figure that because I really like this girl, I should behave differently.. and rely to their old afc behaviour
Somebody once said you get one shot at every girl, so if you screw up, thats it. And no matter how good a PUA you are, you will have a really hard time trying to attract her again if you already screwed up once.

1. Your friend is a douchebag. The idea that the poster you were discussing about was trying to convey is to walk into the scene and imediately be social. This way there is less of a chance for him to be a wall-flower. No one said he should walk into the party and start asking what everyone wants to drink.

2. I think the girl of your dreams may be an AFC idea that should be carried over. I joined because I missed the opportunity with the girl of my dreams at least a dozen different times. I got sick of it, changed my mindframe, and now the hbs meet the man of their dreams at least once a month.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

nice