hey everyone,

First off, I don't really know where to go to try to meet girls my age. The malls around here mostly have young girls. I go to the beach now and then but I never know how to break the ice with the girls I'd like to approach.

I'm a naturally shy guy but I'd like to break that. I'm confident that I've got enough going for me with intelligence, personality, and looks, but I just don't know what to say to a girl when I first approach her.

So to sum it up...a) I'd like to know of some good public places where I can meet girls from 18-22 about b) any suggestions for approaching at the beach and c) any openers that could work in a specific situation.

One more thing too. I tend to really second-guess what others think of me...in other words, I'll assume a girl wants me to shut up or go away WAY too quickly, so I'll cut conversations short. What I'd like to know is this: in the first few minutes of interaction with a girl, is it normal for the guy to be doing most of the talking and asking most of the questions? Does it mean the girl is uninterested if she's not saying much, or does she want the guy to dominate the conversation in the beginning?

thanks

In your particular case, I would try some places that aren't "typical" pick-up spots like clubs and such. Because you are shy that SPAM might be too overwhelming for you at first, but don't worry, I'm sure you will master that soon. Try a movie theater (just don't try and pick up girls with a date!). Look for a group of 2 or 3 girls waiting for a movie, in line, or if they are already seated, sit right in front of them. If you choose to sit right in front of them smile at them while you pick your seats. Wait for a moment when they have been quite for a moment, turn around and say with a smile "I hope you girls aren't going to be loud like this through the entire movie." Chances are they will laugh a little and maybe add something to the convo which can open up to questions about the particular movie you both went to see.

At the beach I would say challenge her to something, like: "Hey my friend and I have a bet that I hope you can help us settle. I say a girl can't throw a perfect spiral and he thinks a girl can." Have her try to throw a spiral.
If she can't, neg her and say: "That was horrible, here let me give you a few pointers"
If she can, say: "Wow, you proved me wrong. Can you give me some pointers?" or "Wow you're good, let's go right now, I'm recruiting you to be on my team."

except I really don't go many places with friends. If I did I'd be able to go to parties and meet girls there no problem. When I go to the beach I go alone.