Why do HB's give me their # that night and then blow me off



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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:19 pm 
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when I call the next day, or a few days later? I have met 4 women since I've been in Detroit that were very interested "Oh, you're really cute" or "I bet you're a player, hitting on every girl around here." but each one has blown me off when I called them?????!!!! Why is this and how do I change it?????

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:56 pm 
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This is covered in many books. It's called buyer's remorse and is caused by not creating enough comfort before calling. At the time they give you the number they truly want you to call, but when you do they're no longer in the same frame of mind. It doesn't help that it's weird talking on the phone to someone - especially someone you were flirting shamelessly with the other day, who you know is calling because of that...

A couple of things to try:
1) DD recommends that you spend a few minutes after getting the number raising comfort again.
2) (I can't remember who promotes doing this, may be DD again) After leaving with the number, call them later that night with a quick message or another opener.
3) If number 2 seems weird to you, try asking a question that they aren't going to be able to answer (E.G. "Have you heard that song 'Homophobia'? Who sings it? I've been trying to remember for hours.") That way you ring them later that SAME night with the answer. "Chumbawumba. That's who sings Homophobia! I can rest easy now that I know! I knew you'd lie awake tonight if you didn't know as well. Sleep easy."
4) Establish a little roleplay in the first interaction - either a private nickname or joke, or one of the standard roleplays Mystery describes. This way you can step into your role as you call and it'll be easier for them to do likewise. (I like the 'divorce' RP in which I let them keep the dog, but I keep the DVDs. Then I can ring them and ask how the dog is doing.)

Hope this helps. Peace.

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"Plan only what you must and live for the present - for tomorrow everything could change." - Personal Motto.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:08 pm 
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Quote:
This is covered in many books. It's called buyer's remorse and is caused by not creating enough comfort before calling. At the time they give you the number they truly want you to call, but when you do they're no longer in the same frame of mind. It doesn't help that it's weird talking on the phone to someone - especially someone you were flirting shamelessly with the other day, who you know is calling because of that...

A couple of things to try:
1) DD recommends that you spend a few minutes after getting the number raising comfort again.
2) (I can't remember who promotes doing this, may be DD again) After leaving with the number, call them later that night with a quick message or another opener.
3) If number 2 seems weird to you, try asking a question that they aren't going to be able to answer (E.G. "Have you heard that song 'Homophobia'? Who sings it? I've been trying to remember for hours.") That way you ring them later that SAME night with the answer. "Chumbawumba. That's who sings Homophobia! I can rest easy now that I know! I knew you'd lie awake tonight if you didn't know as well. Sleep easy."
4) Establish a little roleplay in the first interaction - either a private nickname or joke, or one of the standard roleplays Mystery describes. This way you can step into your role as you call and it'll be easier for them to do likewise. (I like the 'divorce' RP in which I let them keep the dog, but I keep the DVDs. Then I can ring them and ask how the dog is doing.)

Hope this helps. Peace.
You are absolutely right. I had totally forgotten about buyer's remorse! Thanks for the tips and I will try that. I can't believe I forgot about that part, damn!!!!

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:35 pm 
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i've said it many times - getting numbers is easy, getting solid numbers not so much. i have a wing who goes for the number very quickly, as a result he gets more numbers than i do, however 9/10 of them don't even respond back or the blow him off (not interested in a day 2). i on the other hand wait until i have a solid vibe going with the girl and thus 8 or 9 out of 10 are responsive and eagar to meet again. the moral is don't go for the number right after attraction (or god forbid before).
furthermore establish a reason for exchanging numbers during your conversation, usually it's what you're going to do on a day 2, but there could be others or worst case is "i really enjoy talking to you, we should do it again sometime"
and of course note that i said EXCHANGE numbers, these days a lot of people won't answer a random number, so make sure she has your number saved under your name or nickname.
finally i like to text first, since she may be busy when you try to call, but she will return a text eventually if she's interested. when she responds you can then call her up instead of going back and forth by text.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 3:06 pm 
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Yah all the advice here is really good.

Girls will often give you a number so they don't have to continue the interaction.

Back when I was practicing I would always make a point of staying in set beyond getting the number to show her that I was just trying to gt the number and to practice for myself incase she was just using it as a nice way to get rid of me.

I'd say any girl you can stay in set with for 1 hour after getting her number is not going to flake. Though you're gonna want to venue change to keep it up this long.

AFC Adam,


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 7:08 pm 
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thanks fellas, I'll have practice...it's friday night!!

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson


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