i think this situation will be very hard for you to control, you are prob realy emotionaly involved, this makes cerebral aproaches like planning a subtle kino escalation difficult to maintain.
my first advice would be to run a mile to the next hb, specialy if she dumped you. you have been reframed, she knows you, she has spent alot of energy on building a new veiwpoint on you, one that does not include physical intamicy. she will be very resistent.
and this is just my opinion, but who the f**k is she to expect to walk back into your life and have you fix her relationship problems when you obviosly still care for her?, girls are uncannily intuative dont think shes not picking up on that. in my opinion your loving nature is being used against you, and you are giving her permission to take advantage of you.
break the frame, you are not just another friend, state your position firmly. you have shared much more than friends do and that will never go away. you either reward her with the support she wants when she starts coming to the table with your needs, or you be a strong person who can be trusted to look after themselves by drawing a line in the sand and saying dont talk to me unless its important. this is saying
you are important. it shows you respect yourself, and she will respect you more, it is not a turn on to look down on somebody.
it also has an added hidden bonus even if you dont get back together! she will think less about herting you by 'leading you on' with casual sex (lets face it you prob know her likes enough to give her an awesome night and she knows it) and more about her primal wants! because you can be trusted to be strong enough to draw your own lines.
now she knows where you stand and you dont have to back peddle if you are called on the kino, she can acceed or depart.
sorry for the hard advice, bear in mind i dont know you, but a cup of concrete is what you need i think if you want to be that nice and loving a guy without later turning into crazy bitter old man with a eukalaly yelling at people from the gutter.
there should be more open hearts like yours, protect it and keep it big, no one else will. if she doesnt come to you after youve said some thing like
"dear blah, im suffering with what has happened in us separating and i want to move on with my life. you are always free to call me if it is important because i care for you. dont call me if its not important because i care for you (and it herts, [optional if she aint that quick on the subtlety])
love blah, ps (C.F. tag at end ) or unless you want a wild night of stacked orgasms

"
give up, your worth more.