Ok, this is my first post here, so a little bio. I was a virgin until 21, bartender from 21 - 26 (now 27) had slightly over 20 girls (a few serious *pukes on self*) in that time frame. Now, no longer alpha of the nightlife (working stiff) hoping to expand my skills to pick up any girl anywhere (grocery stores, cafes, bookstores, random buildings w/e).

Now lets call this girl Naomi, an HB7 who gets major points for body, scent and t&a - looses a few on the face - big nose.

I met her on Friday night at a club. I got there early and she was in front of me with her friend passing through coat check etc. it was just the three of us walking in, me slightly behind them. ONce inside I didn't see her again for a few hours until I stumbled accross her dancing alone in a secluded spot. Just then a buddy of mine came up to me and since I really have nothing to say to him at this point I introduce him to this girl next to me as if she were my friend. Ice breaks a few charming words here and there and we are dancing. I ask her if she wants a drink she says sure, so I point to the bar and don't move, she hesitates and says 'can I buy you something?' - I think 'at least I will get a free drink out of this'. I ask her if she always buys strange guys at bars drinks and she goes on with the 'this is so not me' routine - I play along 'yeah me neither'.

Cut to the chase, we walk around the club to another bar so I can repay her the drink, then we find somewhere more secluded and start to make out. The club closes and she needs to find her friends, ok so do I. Outside it turns out all her friends are gone and she is taking a taxi home. What I regret is insisting to take her home because she lived kind of far away and I had to work in the morning - oh and she made it clear that there would be no fucking - I, of course, agreed. She gets home and I don't know what the hell I was talking about on the drive home but it was some stupid honest shit about how I think love is a lie and that getting close to ppl only sets you up to get hurt, w/e. Obviously I was not only too drunk to drive at this point. She gets out of the car after we make out a bit more.

I decide Monday evening I will call her up. Lo and behold I never took down her number! I chalk it up to fate and don't really dwell on it. Then Weds night I decide to do a relatively simple search on facebook typing in only her first name and her school. She is one of two results. This is a transcript of what followed via Email:

DAMAGE: Is it possible?

It's hard to tell, your picture is so small but I have a good feeling. too bad facebook doesn't have a scent feature.

Since I lost your phone number I was pretty bummed (actually I don't remember ever taking it down). As a long shot I just typed in 'Naomi' and 'School' in the search and presto! The only other alternative was to show up at your place and ask for you, but that seemed a bit excessive - plus I don't think I remember where you live lol.

When I checked on my phone for your number Monday evening and it wasn't there, despite being saddened, I chalked it up to karma or fate and that we weren't supposed to meet again...but now...I mean there were only two results from my search and I really didn't expect it to work - so I dont know what to think. What do you think, you seemed pretty pissed after leaving my car...

Damage

NAOMI Today at 9:53am
I wasn’t pissed at the end of the night…it’s just that I’m a mess. I did have your number but I didn’t call you. I have a reason, but I’m sure you’re not really going to want to hear it. I have to say it though.

For the last 4 years, I have been in a relationship. That fell apart a few weeks ago. I met you. This week, I got back with my ex. That’s why I never called. I figured it was for the best…that if you hadn’t called me....I mean, why would I call just to say I’m back with my ex?

I don’t really know what else to say except that I'm sorry.

DAMAGE

Today at 9:50pm


Why wouldn't I want to hear it? Everyone goes through that shit its part of life, I am however a human being and not just a fuck machine. I do have other things to offer besides whats in my pants y'know :p. I got out of a realtionship a little while ago too, it was pretty serious and I lost touch with alot of my friends by trying to make it work and yada yada...

Bottom line is I'm not a two-dimensional person and meeting someone like yourself doesn't instantly set me down a path that leads in only one direction and if that direction is a dead end I'd rather not go. No, I like meeting new people and I'm at a point in my life where I want to meet new people for friendship or whatever. The last thing I need right now is to jump into something serious, so yeah, making new friends kinda lights up my life . Most of my life I have been pretty much a loner and thats cool and everything but I'm starting to realize the benefits of having friends and meeting new people, especially since I don't open up that easily it's hard to meet new ppl.

I don't want to get in the way of your relationship, and even though we did start down an intimate path I think we are both mature enough to bring something else to the table (we were also both drunk enough that it should be easy to forget, no?). So what I'm saying is that I think you are cool, and if you could use another friend what's the worst that can happen? Awkward silence?


Hello?

As you can tell I have a sense of humor, that's one quality I can offer. As for the others well if you'd like to find out just let me know, no pressure just two people on a rock hurtling through space being social and communicating about their perceptions of life and how everything is essentially meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Philosophy 101 and what not.

So there ya go darling, I' m not asking you for anything I'm just letting you know that we can try and see if we can be friends - make the most out of us meeting - I hate to shut doors in life, especially if there are other options.

Let me know what you think about all my jibber jabber,

DAMAGE

PS oh and I still dont have your number so I CAN'T call you.

END


Now that I reread it some of it is a little sappy and corny..I'm not sure if that was intentional and I want her to think i am disarmed or if that was all I could think of. I honestly wouldn't mind just being her friend (she has GIRLfriends that are hot too!) but at the same time I figure if I keep trying I will have a better opportunity to practice game than if I just give up. Obviously she holds all the cards at this point, I can't call her or anything so I decided to trump that up and hope for the best. Her response could also be one big shit test and she is just trying to see if I just wanted to fuck her - in that case I think I passed.

Let the analysis begin brothers. ANd its a pleasure to make your aquaintences.

Damage

Oh and any advice on where to go next if you feel like it much appreciated

2 more things -

1) Maybe she is just being polite and telling me to get lost
2) I am too long winded, need to keep it simple

Man i think you could have said what you wanted to say in fewer words,
just get straight to the point! In all honesty i can see this coming to a dead end unless you bump into her again and run some game. I dont think it was wise to talk about love and shit in the car, remember this is the 1st time you have met this girl!! this is probably the real reason she is giving you the 'ive just come out of a LTR' routine.

my advice would be not to dwell on this one girl but to go out and meet more! you obviously have it in you.

It's hard to tell, your picture is so small but I have a good feeling. too bad facebook doesn't have a scent feature.

This is great. I will find an opportunity to use it......

So the analysis,

You have to be real careful when you are drinking and talking with someone. I find that I say way to much (including once saying 'I like you') I generally start a conversation and try to get them to talk the entire time. Better they regret saying something than myself.

Now to the first email.

What I would have said
*************
You forgot to give me your phone number. Lucky for you, I remembered your name and school and there were only two results in facebook.
Anymore would have been a lost cause!

So what is it?
*************
critique of your email.
You probably lost her right here
I was pretty bummed you only just met her., sounds needy
But if that didn't do it,
As a long shot sounds needy as well, I would not have used it.
but that seemed a bit excessive just a bit?
despite being saddened sounds deperate!
I really didn't expect it to work nothing like expressing unsurity about yourself.
I dont know what to think and then doing it again
What do you think man o man,............

Who knows if she is telling the truth or not. Who knows if my version of the email would have gotten a different response but I have had girls that did not have a b/f not respond to me for saying less.

_________________
Recommended reading list.

Double Your Dating by DD
(This will work on your inner game)

http://www.freewebs.com/xfman/
(This will work on your outer game)

I agree less is definetly more in these cases. I see your point about coming off unsure and not confident enough...but in my opinion I think I play that way because I assume that all girls assume I am running game on them, so I attempt to counter the instinct to be overconfidant by being wishy-washy, and in these case I was at such a disadvantage I was walking on eggshells - I will take your advice though and see how it works for me...and yeah Mystery said it best when he spoke about how getting drunk is not part of being a PUA

But the good news is she responded quite favorably to my message...let me dig it up so I can post.

May 7th 2:20 PM

Hey Damage,

I can always use another friend and I am really glad that you made the suggestion. I wasn't sure what to expect when I sent you that last e-mail...things between us did start down a certain path and I couldn't be sure of your expectations - by far, you would not be the first boy I've met who was looking for one thing, and one thing only, from some random girl at a club...but I was pleased (and, admittedly, a little surprised) when I read what you wrote.

I appreciate your honesty and your humour and I do think that we could be friends. As a sign of my good faith, I am inviting you to be one of my friends on facebook. Consider it my registration to Philosophy 101. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will accept.

Naomi

I think I managed to what I could despite the cirsumstances - my plan at this point is to in all honesty just be her friend and IMO that will be all it takes to keep her interested in me. Whatever happens with her BF she knows I am an option yet the fact that I treat her like 'one of the guys' will keep her interested. Also I can sarge her friends or even sister and that will definetly get under her skin.


It has been three days since she wrote me and she hasn't heard from me. The only question I have now is what do I do next...ask her what she is doing this weekend? Thats seems too gamey - I still don't know her phone number so I'm thinking of maybe faking a 'I need a friend' emergency and getting her out for coffee or at least chatting with her on the phone...

well you already put ur self in the friend catagory. so now she has no reason to call you first. as a friend. the phone works or msg works both ways.

send her a email. saying something about. since your my new partner in crime i was wondering if i can call you if i'm around ur school or area, maybe for some coffee or something.

then throw in. theres' a party goin on this week end. bring your friends too.. ect.... i hope your around ur puter to get the invite since i can't call.

the second one is better. since it shows but you don't directly ask for her number.

who cares if there isn't a party. find one. or just say it didn't plan out (cause you couldn't make one) then go to a bar or something.

_________________
For players, its survival of the smoothest. [tg]
If it works for you stick with it.

We have respoke via email and she is give an appearance of being hard on herself. Bottom line she is busy the next few weeks with work and has to go out of town quite a bit but when she gets the chance she definetly wants to go for coffee. Luckily my sense of humor seems to be translating over emails well and she thinks I'm funny.

I'll post more if we eventually do meet up and detail how that goes

You should be chasing other girls and forgeting about his one, however a little spading on facebook and msn goes a long way. In all honesty i wouldnt talk to her until she will talk to you, it may take about a little bit of time but if she does hses keen!

Ya it has seemed to have fizzled...no real loss