Ok, maybe I should not give this away but I do... This has been fieldtested and it works.

Snaps fingers
This reminds me of a story, you know when there is a really embarrassing silence. Like... nooooow.... (If it is.)

It was a girl I dated 2 years ago, did not last very long but at the time we had been dating for 2 months and I was going to meet her parents for the first time and I wanted them to get a good first impression of me since they are quite fancy people. (Preselection)
So my GF was gonna come over to my place at 8 and we would go to her parents place directly since they live close to my house. At 7 I am in the shower, getting ready. At 7.05 my GF calls and tells me that she is early and coming over to me. She just got off the bus and there is a scary looking guy following her. I just rush out of the shower, pulls on some pants, a shirt, jacket, hair still dripping wet, shampoo everywhere. Run out to meet her, slam the door and realize, my keys are in my other jacket. I ran out to meet her, takes her arm in mine (protective, loyal), glares at the scary guy and walks off with my GF.
Then I tell her that I just locked myself out and my only spare keys are with my mother who lives half an hour away. So we have to go to her parents house immediately because it is freezing and my hair is wet etc etc. I walk there yknow, with my hands thrust into my jacketpockets and I am in a bad mood, this was not at all what I was planning on. I always have a lot of stuff in my pockets so I start looking for some paper to remove the shampoo with but it just ends up with everything getting all sticky and so.
We arrive at her parents place and I decide that even if I do not look great at the time being I will try my winning personality with them. So I smile at her mother says "GFname has told me so much about you and I really cannot wait to get to know you better". (Here make your target act as the mother, holding her hand out for shaking.) And I pull my hand out of my pocket and shakes. Only my hand is not alone, something apparently stuck to my palm and I know before I look that this is not good.
(Horrified facial expression here). I look and sure enough, resting in her palm is a condom. Not used of course, still in the package but still, a condom.
So that is why I always keep my condoms in my wallet.
End of routine.

Maybe you guys think that this story is unbelievable but it works for me. Peacock enough and you will get away with almost anything.

Love

Phoenix

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Genius

its too long, its like my mother telling me a story and every 3 seconds i have to tell her: so whats your point mom?? skip the rest please, whats your point mom?

i couldnt get myself to read it all...

or maybe you should rewrite it so it becomes more exciting to put the effort in to really listen to it all

(dont wanna be mean or something, just giving you my honest opinion, hope it helps you)

to add something: sometimes a bad story can also be good, as long as you are a good story teller.

so if you have the right attitude and an attractive voice etc anything goes, as long as you can keep on talking... (which you probably can with this story)

yeap its too long man gotta make it shorter

one of the cardinal rules is to NOT put ur condom in your wallet

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Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

I dont know, If you've got a good story and its long then the target really gets into it and it gives her a chance to get to know you through the story this way she will become more comfortibl around you and give a more valued opinion on the situation which doesn't matter but it makes you look more geniune.

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"....Yeah She'd Get It."

As DHV stories go it could contain more DHV spikes, theres a few in there, preselection, protective over the girl but thats about it. Tell her that the girl was an exotic dancer or a model or something. I dont think the whole shutting the keys out the house thing has anything for it if you are just looking for a solid DHV story. How about this

'About a year a go i had been dating this girl for a few months and she was meeting me at 8am to go see her parents for the first time. I was running late, 7.30 and id just got my niece to school. Back at home i see my gf through the window followed by some guy, shes a model so used to get it a lot. I run out and put my arm round her moving her away from him. I know the owner of a local taxi company so he sends a car to take us to the parents house. So im doing my hair as im getting out the taxi at the parents house, trying to wipe the excess products off in my back pocket so i dont have a sticky hand. I go to greet the mother and bam, An un opened condom has got stuck to my hand and it comes out with it. You know what i learnt?'

then you go into the moral of the tale. Just my suggestion hope it helps.

*golf clap*

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you allready told her twice.

really good idea, but as previously stated it's too long.

I think I'll modify it a bit and try it. (Y)