so i've been very close friends with one of my friends for the past year and a half, but at one point we both started having strong feelings for each other; but in fact i don't want to go out with her anymore for personal reasons which include the fact that she drinks and smokes and other drama. though we talk too much. i mean a good 2+ hours everyday, and its like a horrible thing for her if we don't talk for a long time. i complain that i don't want to be with her, but then again she is in my head 24/7 literally, and at times i really want her and her image is flowing through my head. and its affecting me because she is literally in my mind the whole day just thinking about her; but honestly i want to get her out of my mind for the better good of my life so that i can succeed in other things and not worry about a girl that is into drinking smoking partying and bring back old bad memories. so i need help on how i may completely forget about her! its hard with the constant phone calls from her, msgs on msn, etc. she tells me everything so we are close friends, but i want to stay at "friends with a distance" not good friends...

Honestly? Give it a shot. If it works out badly, then you won't have to worry about her anymore. I'll tell you, I was in the opposite situation. Me and her started out like that except I was the partier. We tried it out, and now I don't smoke and we ended up partying together. She did change me but I changed her too. We had an amazing time together. Never think you can't change someone/they can't change you. If its the right person and you feel that strongly for them put all that shit beside and do what feels right.

PUA isn't just about sex and getting laid. It goes beyond that. Its about finding people, meeting people and getting a better experience out of life.

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If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.

i understand its possible to change people but i've worked my best on her, i've showed her good morals and tried to keep her in good thought. but the friends she is around always cause her to smoke and drink, and i'm trying to get away from that scene. Its my decision that i want to avoid her, because i dont want to deal with this because i've quit smoking and drinking and im trying to be a better person. but i doubt things will work with her, i kissed her once and told her 3 days after it was a mistake and somehow were back again to talking 2+ hours a day because she is really into me. however what direction may i take to this to cause a friends with distance relationship...?

First off, if her friends are a problem, dont hang around them when u are with her. just go out with her by yourselves. that way YOU can control the SPAM. remember, women like men who take control. If she wants to go out and drink then tell her you have better things to do for the night and leave her. she will become insanely jealous of this and soon all she will want to do is give u attention and hang out with you, trust me u can change her it just takes some persistence and willpower.

-Patience

i dont hang around with her friends.. the thing is, she is always out partying to go get drunk etc so who knows what the hell she is doing. i dont want to be around her for a relationship, like i said i wanted a "friends with distance" can i have any feedback on this please?

ignore her then? this girl obviously means something to u if u are going through this much trouble to put her in the ljbz. i dunno exactly what u are looking for. its like u are denying a liking for her while justifying why she should just be ur friend?

yeah deep inside i have strong feelings for her, and she is also deeply in love with me. but i mean i've been telling her constantly i like her than changing my thought, and then she gets hurts etc. i just want to end the whole dillema, i already know i go out with her. shes gonna be constantly out with her friends that drink and smoke etc where i dont know and her friends are completly different than mine. there is more to the issue, but i think it would be best if i can not completly stop talking to her so she doesnt suspect im completly avoiding her. but i want to know is there a way where i can show her i have no more interest to her, and i dont want to be on the phone with her every single day without her getting upset she doesnt get the chance to talk to me.