Yep, I got the curse of the blur. I pick girls up and everythings great. Pick up went great, first impression went smoothly. Then, *something* happens every. fucking. time. And the HB is different the next time I see them (if I'm lucky to see them again). I don't know *what* it is

So, I've been trying to pre-empt it.. I wish I could say I WAS pre-empting it..

4 instance..

on the 3rd of July, I meet this girl who's on her way to a bball game with her friend: HB8. She's getting a burrito and i sit down next to and smoothly up a conversation, flirt with her, get her smiling, and boom, get her digits. I say I'll call her some time in the near future and she says I should (should I mention that she nonchalantly said to me that she used to lay out naked on the roof of my apartment complex a year ago). I say, 'this ones for the -baseball team-' and give her a hearty hug which she loves.

She goes off to the game, and the team wins in the bottom of the 9th with one. I text this broad saying that its a good thing I gave her that hearty hug, totally won the game. She asks where I'm at, and I tell her a park to watch fireworks. Try to get her to meet up w/me and she at first agrees 4 me to come meet her, then she backs off when I tell her to meet me somewhere. I tell her, cool I guess I'll just see you then (the next time around) which is a put off, I never planned on calling her after she backed down.

The next day, she texts me a message, 'hope you had a good night!' I just text back an 'always' and leave it at that.. but I call her the next night after cause the girl broke the silence, something they only do if they like you. We set up sushi for the next night, Monday night. I'm late by say 10 minutes and she gives me this cold look at the beginning but I warm her up and get her smiling.. but there's something else. This girl, who previously was very warm to me, looking to see me, is now cold, cold, cold.. During sushi we get a little more comfortable and she's smiling at my jokes and personality.. I tell her we split, then I just pay cause I had cash and tell her to get me back next time..

We go outside and she immediately pulls a line like she's gotta get home to go to work..

I say lets take a walk, she's down. Astonished that I still got this curse of the blur I just mention, 'I don't know what you did between when we talked and now.. you know what you did, I don't' because its *amazing* the difference in her temperment towards me.

I walk her into the nicest newest park in the city and we go up to the top of this hill to 'talk' and thats all I could get out of her. She mentions she doesn't trust me, I kino a little develop a little trust, but still can't break this ice. Then she starts to mention other dudes she's seen like her exboyfriend and this dude Adam who asked her out on a date that night we were supposed to meet up. Like a wall of ASD. She blocks my attempts to get into kissing positions every time and I DONT drop the bomb and force it, but it ends up with her standing up to leave and offering me her hand. I refuse and get my shit together, and after one last kino the girl turns her back on me and walks away by herself. Like a Blur slap accross my face.

Ironicallly, to pre-empt all this, I sent her a text the morning of the get-together that we could meet at 7:30 but I only wanted her to come if she really wanted to see me (because she had rescheduled due to some mysterious appointment). On the plus, I had originally wanted lunch with her and she says that we should do something after work so she doesn't have to go back. Soo ironic, cursed with a blurry blurry world here

After all this I got drunk the next day and told her shes got a very attractive personality (..) but my life is like a race (as a salesman and businessman) and its not my game to convert the unwilling nor to take a back seat. bye

she then generically texts me back later saying that she had a nice time but its not a good time right now

I text her back saying 'too bad, already said. honestly, i really like you. if i did it for you, you could have me. enjoy your other doods. what i need is a hot ass, nympho ass nurse' - yeah i was drinking

so.. the blur fucked me on day 2. Awesome. Preempting it just made her do the opposite that i wanted.

Guess the best thing to do is to say as little as possible, huh, nothing negative at all, and just go by pure actions?

So, I started flirting with a girl at a coffee shop today..

I say, 'heeeelllo'
She mirrors it
I say 'what'd you get'
She smiles and says a latte
I say 'a latte? Oh my god, I can't talk to you anymore..'
and walk outside and sit back down.
When the girl comes out she's scowling, ignores me, and gets in her car, pauses a few seconds and leaves.. HB8-9, who obviously has some cream

and don't know guys, i don't think these methods are working for me. I think they did a little at first because of the confidence boost in discovering material on this subject, but im 6'3", pretty good looking, 205 pounds, pretty smart, and work out every day. Maybe acting like an AFC will yeild results for me. On a superficial level, I should be doing pretty well, but I'm not. Help a brother out

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ChrisNome
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'you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight' 'see ya around kid'

'high virtue is nonvirtuous'

I have to go to work soon, but i will try to help you out later.

The biggest thing that could be your problem is your body langauge and tone. For example with Latte girl, that was a great line you pulled but I have a feeling you forgot to smile and laugh a little. Also I don't understand why you would walk away from your target after that line, you should have pretended to get up like you where going to walk away , then sat back down and said something like "well this is the one nice thing I will do today. You should feel special." or something like that.

I will try to give you more imput later when I get off work...

-Smarts

I'm gonna agree with Smarts. It doesn't sound like you did/said anything that would result in those reactions, but that is merely based upon YOUR view of events and with focus upon WHAT you were saying and not HOW you did it. I don't know if you've heard it before, but if you haven't you need to realise that the words you use really only account for around 7% of the interaction, over 50% is body language and the rest is the tone of your voice.

I'd speculate that you need to work on the tone of your voice when you're talking, along with your body language (which is a very broad range of things). Take some time to stand in front of a mirror and talk to the mirror like it were your target, doesn't matter whether you are delivering routines and canned material, or whether you run natural game, this will let you see how you look when you are running game. If a girl doesn't trust your intentions, it's most likely because of how you're standing/sitting and the fact that you may be leaning in when you talk to her, or that you are positioning your body in a way that conveys too much interest. Pay attention to your facial expressions as well, because you don't want to look like a predator and I've met guys that get those kinds of reactions from girls because the girl sees things in his face that makes her feel like prey and she gets creeped out.

I see so many new guys get into this and pay so much attention to the words being said and even on actions being done, but without working on the tone of voice you're using, or your body language, you'll never get good results, regardless of how amazing the material may be. Jsmooth wrote a newsletter for another forum this week that brought up this issue and so I realise this isn't just something I've noticed, it's a big problem these days. You can throw all the material out the window, but if you've got great voice tonality and body language, then it doesn't matter; working on routines and lines is just a much more complicated way of compensating for poor body language and voice tone.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks for your input, dudes

From my perspective, body language was good actually pretty good on the first situ. When we met up, she was bumping into me, and I'd generally lean back unless she'd lean in and I'd do it afterwards to mirror her, then lean back again when she did. When we were at the park on the hill, she was sitting all closed up and I was just laying next to her looking up at the stars, completely open. That's when she said she didn't trust me. I think it was because I'm a salesman (not a typical one, more of an entrepeneur actually) and her ex that she just broke up with was one too. She also said she beleives money is the root of all evil.

After we talked some more, she opened up and I started to kino and get a little closer, but whenever i got in a pre-position to kiss she'd close me off again, but continue to talk about deep, trustworthy shit.

I agree on the voice. My voice is deep and alpha when I'm relaxed and I have noticed that it's not so much consistantly that way, probably from anxiety and stress. I've been getting massages twice a week and try some meditation and relaxation stuff (run every day) but, honestly, when I get relaxed, i get really fucking horney with the 6'3" sized balls pumping testosterone through my body and gotta take care of it in some way..

+ my nympho ex kinda made me a nympho too. Think about sex more than the average bear..

BUT I gotta say, the theory really comes into play on the level of big populations. I BLUR every time now! Gotta break the streak.. Any ideas why I or anybody may cause a blur?

I see all these people on the newb forum talk about problems with one girl and its easy. Find another girl and fuck her, or have problems and find another girl and fuck her, or have problems and fuck her... or TEN and fuck them then come back. See I really liked this one, and now I'm looking for 1/10 that won't blur so I can come back and fuck her. Kapeesh kapeesh

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ChrisNome
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'you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight' 'see ya around kid'

'high virtue is nonvirtuous'

Kapeesh. im fucked

i bet it happens because.. every time i build some chick up with pure energy and genuine confidence i've built from within, she sucks that energy and excitement up and transfers it to some dude with less internally based confidence and more social status. For instance, that's why I immediately got rid of that last girl when she did that, so as to not be the sucker while she sucks my confidence up and gives it to some douche who hasn't built himself from scratch, who's built himself from suckers. I moved here not knowing anyone so unfortunately i've lacked good company and at first just went with the bad company i had available. It backfired and i was basically taken advantage in my situation by bad people. For example, i could call up this one dude i know who set up a birthday for me last winter, if i really want to chill with a guy who flashed a knife at me because I was hitting it off with the hotter girl, and ended up totally cockblocking me. That was my best wingman yet here. So decided i was better off flying alone than that. It's a huge disadvantage, ive found probably bigger than anything else listed in all the pick up material.

It's not easy to make friends when you're alone, 6'3", 205 pounds, work out every day, and have been an intelligent and successful businessman. Most dudes i know of that can get girls know that im a high caliber individual and that not having status is the only thing they really got on me, so they all seem to unite on this point. If they don't at first and i meet them around girls, the girls will start to get interested in me and the guys will revert to being standoffish.

The only thing I can do is ignore all the bullshit that's said and just push ahead by pure willpower. Some people are noticing because I've lost 30 pounds by sublimating all my frustration at the gym and I'm also muscular and more in shape than the people who originally bashed me for it..

Still, I don't have social status, and PUA is my favorite thing to do, and social status is where i fail. It also kills me cause I'm really a fun guy. I used to have 100's of friends in all kinds of clicks and many girls that I could hook up with.. Then I 'fell in love' and was betrayed and devastated, and now I'm doing my best to become a real master pick up artist because if i had that skill, i never would have ever been devastated.

Any thoughts, this really gets to me. I'd love to go out right now, at a point in the past, I'd already be out and surrounded by people and women, and I got nothing right now. Nothing

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ChrisNome
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'you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight' 'see ya around kid'

'high virtue is nonvirtuous'

Dude, from reading your first post you sounded alright. Then after your 2nd and 3rd post in this thread, I lost a lot of respect for you.

First off, to bash other people on this site who are asking for help or opinions (like you, I might add) is not a cool thing to do. Then you say the solution to all their problems is to fuck this girl or that girl or 10 girls? Being a PUA is more than just having sex with girls. It is about creating a lifestyle that many people want to be apart of and creating connections with people.

Next, I noticed another thing that could have turned off a lot of women. You seem very self-consumed and a tad bit arrogent. You are posting on a PUA forum, so why do you have to keep pointing out the fact that you are 6'3, 205 lbs, work out every day, and are a successful business person?? All that stuff doesn't really matter and will not change the situation you are in... Is money good to have? Sure. Is it good to be 6'3 and 205 lbs? According to our current society, yes. Are some women attractive to successful men? Yea. Those are all great things, but this is not a job interview. You do not have to point out your strengths, just let them take you where they do.

Im pretty sure that women can pick-up the fact that you are a successful business person, so you don't have to tell them/ brag about that. To me you seem like you have some problems you need to work out, or maybe you are trying to full a hole in your heart with women.


All that being said, I would still like to help you. I reccomend that you read Books about Inner Game before you sarg women again. That should help you out a lot I think and hope.

-Smarts

Thanks Smarts, I think you actually hit the problem right in the center here with the inner game.

My frame is all fucked up because i went through some exceptional shit and now I feel like my life doesn't adequately represent me.. That's a negative frame and most definitely is probably a turn off.

You probably liked my first post because that was me in a good sarging mindset, really not to attached to any outcome just looking at everything really objectively..

You probably didn't like my second and third because they were connected to negative emotions due to the fact that I liked the first girl and am now feeling a loss since she liked me, was pushing to see me, and i feel like that connection has been killed. I now see that I qualified myself a lot to the forum, and that's never really a good thing.. Confidence is displayed when you know you're good, and the opposite effect happens when you say you're good because you're seeking validation. I think this is my problem; with the frame of 'I'm an outstanding guy and my life doesn't currently doesn't represent me' I qualify myself to people and girls and thus come accross explaining myself which is not alpha behavior. Instead I think I'm just going to adopt the frame of 'I'm an outstanding guy,' be it, and leave it at that. If I just be that, I think my life is more likely to fall into place

Also, never meant to come accross as arrogant or brag. I actually was just trying to say how ironic my life is because my game currently sucks.. :y That's why I'm here though, in the newbie forumss

Also, that 'fuck 10 girls' idea is not mine. I've gotten that 'one-itis' a lot because I'm pretty picky with women and it usually goes against success in picking up women. I got that off of this website www.seductionbase.com as a solution to one-itis. The article basically says that if you find that you really really like a girl and her alone its a turn off to her, and you should go out and be intimate with 10 girls then come back. So that's where I got that.. U got any cool sites, particularly mobile sites? I work a lot too and got a Blackberry (probably antipick up too haha)

thanks bro

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ChrisNome
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'you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight' 'see ya around kid'

'high virtue is nonvirtuous'