HB9 keeps bailing on me, what do i do?



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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:27 am 
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Warning long post

Background info on this chick
Shes 15, Im 17
Shes fairly popular(probably has alot of attention from guys)
Boyfriend broke up with her about a month ago
Shes somewhat my neighbor(she lives in the same townhouse complex as me, quite a few houses down)
Ive known her for about a year, we've hung out a little bit but nothing ever really came of it, just a friendly relationship

Backstory:
So we havent hung out in awhile, i talk her from time to time on msn. so i sent her a text messages simply with "want to chill sometime soon?" she never responds. So one of her friends is on msn and i ask her "so why did GIRLSNAME, harsh ignore my text" her friend tells me her phone was dead(im pretty sure this was a lie to get me off her ass) She sends me a text the next day saying "pretty sure my phone has been dead, so i charged it. and i havent been ignoring your texts" so i send her a text "want to chill sometime, like tonight? i gotta go downtown for shopping soon if u want to come" She ends up flaking and a few hours later she sends me a text saying "hey i dont think i can hang out tonight what about tomorrow?" Respond with "whatever, we can hang out tomorrow night, im busy during the day" No response, the next day i send her a text saying "we still on for tonight?" she responds "im at the gym right now working out ill tet you when i get home" I neg her saying "trying to get fit eh?" she responds "ha good one MYNAME already am but nice try" hours pass and i send another text saying "You still at the gym? how many calories are you trying to burn off?" She responds with another bail "hey sorry my mom is pissed at me because we are hosting a bridal shower tomorrow, tomorrow so i have to stay and clean the house" I respond with "ah cool, im going downtown one of these days, im wondering if you want to join me, *give her some bullshit about she hasnt seen my new car yet*" No response, this is where it ends. Im thinking shes playing push-pull but I really don't know with her. The times we've hung out before she says she has to go to soccer and shit like that(setting a time restraint) so there hasn't really been any time to build comfort, close, shit like that. I wanted to take her to a drive-in movie or something like that is a great place to take a chick.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:35 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:03 am
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Location: Vancouver, Canada
Quote:
Warning long post

Background info on this chick
Shes 15, Im 17
Shes fairly popular(probably has alot of attention from guys)
Boyfriend broke up with her about a month ago
Shes somewhat my neighbor(she lives in the same townhouse complex as me, quite a few houses down)
Ive known her for about a year, we've hung out a little bit but nothing ever really came of it, just a friendly relationship

Backstory:
So we havent hung out in awhile, i talk her from time to time on msn. so i sent her a text messages simply with "want to chill sometime soon?" she never responds. So one of her friends is on msn and i ask her "so why did GIRLSNAME, harsh ignore my text" her friend tells me her phone was dead(im pretty sure this was a lie to get me off her ass) She sends me a text the next day saying "pretty sure my phone has been dead, so i charged it. and i havent been ignoring your texts" so i send her a text "want to chill sometime, like tonight? i gotta go downtown for shopping soon if u want to come" She ends up flaking and a few hours later she sends me a text saying "hey i dont think i can hang out tonight what about tomorrow?" Respond with "whatever, we can hang out tomorrow night, im busy during the day" No response, the next day i send her a text saying "we still on for tonight?" she responds "im at the gym right now working out ill tet you when i get home" I neg her saying "trying to get fit eh?" she responds "ha good one MYNAME already am but nice try" hours pass and i send another text saying "You still at the gym? how many calories are you trying to burn off?" She responds with another bail "hey sorry my mom is pissed at me because we are hosting a bridal shower tomorrow, tomorrow so i have to stay and clean the house" I respond with "ah cool, im going downtown one of these days, im wondering if you want to join me, *give her some bullshit about she hasnt seen my new car yet*" No response, this is where it ends. Im thinking shes playing push-pull but I really don't know with her. The times we've hung out before she says she has to go to soccer and shit like that(setting a time restraint) so there hasn't really been any time to build comfort, close, shit like that. I wanted to take her to a drive-in movie or something like that is a great place to take a chick.
bump


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:17 pm 
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have you heard about the dancing string and the cat in "the game"?
that is not really what youre doing !! you are more like the tied string she cant get off of her... im no expert yet but you have to cool down give her some space and make her want to date with you and ask you out to go downtown or something!! show her youve got girls and even tell her you "cant hang out tonight"@@!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:25 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2008 3:44 am
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Location: Seattle, Washington
Yes I agree
You should flirt with other girls near her at school so she sees that you have other girls.
Shes probably playing hard to get
so you should do the same!

hope this helps!

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:47 am 
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It probably doesn't have anything to do with you personally. Part of being in high school is that most girls are going to flake. A lot. Even if they like you. As they get older they start to have a little bit more respect for other people's time, but generally the mind of a female under 21 recognizes no personal responsibility for its own behavior. There are a few exceptions though.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:32 am 
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Location: Vancouver, Canada
Quote:
Yes I agree
You should flirt with other girls near her at school so she sees that you have other girls.
Shes probably playing hard to get
so you should do the same!

hope this helps!
Its summer im out of school
she doesn't go to my school


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:12 am 
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Im going to add on, not flooding a chick with attention has always been my weak point, I don't really have much attention from chicks and I really dont have any guts because i have not much confidence. Its really tough to go game in high school as i cant go to the club and i dont really have a large social network that hangs out with any decent looking chicks. How do i avoid flooding her with attention and looking needy? Im fairly social retarded, ive just really started actually socializing and gaming. The few chicks i know are pretty prime, like major HBs but sometimes i feel they are just using me. Its really tough to deny chicks and blow them off when you have so little attention from girls.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:35 am 
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You're coming off as needy. It also sounds like you're desperate to hang out with her. It's like a daily pattern of you wanting to hang out and she just flakes and you try again.

Oh yeah, it sounds like you're trying to neg her but it's not working. Drop the MM act and look into other ways of improving your conversational skills. Juggler is awesome at this.

And I hope you didn't tell me that saying 'no' to a girl is hard. Saying 'no' is the easiest damn thing in the world, don't let that bitch boss you around because she's beautiful. 'No' actually creates value. So start saying no.[/quote]

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:17 am 
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Location: Vancouver, Canada
Quote:
You're coming off as needy. It also sounds like you're desperate to hang out with her. It's like a daily pattern of you wanting to hang out and she just flakes and you try again.

Oh yeah, it sounds like you're trying to neg her but it's not working. Drop the MM act and look into other ways of improving your conversational skills. Juggler is awesome at this.

And I hope you didn't tell me that saying 'no' to a girl is hard. Saying 'no' is the easiest damn thing in the world, don't let that bitch boss you around because she's beautiful. 'No' actually creates value. So start saying no.
[/quote]

Easier said than done I think it can be done eventually, as I am desperate for contact with a girl it makes it tough to say no.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:25 am 
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To get the girl, you first need to be able to risk losing her.

Build up your confidence man, and take beschatten's advice to the heart.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:34 am 
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fair enough, Do i text her saying "hey whenever your free lets hang out?" whenever she texts me back with a time to hang out i bail on her? Whats the best way to set up a situation where i can say no?


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:10 pm 
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Beschatten gave you a really good advice! Use it :)

With all your text messages, you're giving HER the power. "Wanna hang out?" She can easily say "No". You're acting really needy. You know why? "I am desperate for contact with a girl" Don't be. Inner game is almost everything, if that's fucked up, you're not going to get her. Period.

You're chasing her, it should be the other way around. Tell her you're going to x with y and she SHOULD come as well. If she flakes again, tell her she missed a really good time or something. Freeze her out, don't talk to her for a week, do whatever this forum says. Neediness will get you nowhere.


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