Hey what's up guys? What i now believe to be my two main insecurities are my physical appearance, maybe more so face and my stutter.

My question is going to pertain to the first.....i'm at a loss at how to give myself more credit and have a better sense of esteem about my face/appearance. Before i wrote this post, i can't even remember WHO in my past has called me ugly, or even implied that i was bad looking. That being said, i can't even remember a SPECIFIC time where that was said, but can probably recall a few times that i "projected" that thought coming from the person, but out in the open of "ugly"....i believe nill.

If i've always been complimented on my (body especially)...never HOT face, but cute/handsome/manly face....how can i still feel insecure about it? I try to be logical and that makes NO sense. I can be complimented on my body and at the same time revise the compliment, believe it was sincere, but yet feel unworthy of that "status". Anyone else feel like this? I think i'm finally admitting that i have an insecurity about my appearance even though i would usually never admit it(as it doesn't make sense). Anyone have some insight, have/still feels this way? How did you get over it? Thanks for reading.

Why do you think your face is ugly? Are there certain traits about it that you don't like, or is it based upon something else?

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~ Rye

You can use NLP to brake your insecurities

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One PUA I went out with in Athens, GA had a deformed right hand. Didn't stop him from opening up any and everybody he wanted to.

i had a freind in school with a terrible stutter (his face is fine). The first time I met him I actually made fun of him, because when he did it I thought it was just an ordinary stutter. I still rem he looked me dead in the eye and told me how "thats not f-f-funny." I was still too thick to get that he had a disorder so he actually had to explain that he c-c-cant help it. Then of course I felt like complete shit and apolagized. He never, ever got made fun of it even if he was stuttering in class with no one else talking. No one even laughed, and he was really confident and popular with men and women.

Moral of the story, stuttering is just as obvious a disability as a broken leg, and clearly not your fault. You wouldn't feel overly insecure about a broken leg, right? Anyone who makes fun of that is just evil, right?

"If you accept it, the world will too."
-You

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hey thank you for all your responses!!....to be honest i wanted to delay on responding on the thread b/c it's still something i don't like admitting.

To answer Rye's question....to be honest this may sound weird....but i think i look too manly/masculine. Maybe this would be fine if i didn't stutter b/c then i would feel more congruent. What usually happens is i get a good/obvious invitation to open (holding EC for example)...so when i walk over and i start to stutter, it is a surprise to see this "buff guy with piercing eyes, broad shoulders, strong chin" start s-s-s-stuttering.

I admit that i have the build/body of an alpha/dominant male and i feel that i am one UNTIL i start stuttering.

In addition to looking "too masculine"...i've always looked older for my age....usually ppl guess 3-5 years older than i actually am(since i was probably mid teens). This has never felt to work in my advantage b/c then i always felt like i even though i'm only 20 per say, i'll be judged on my behavior of of a 25 year old, therefore felt there was something to live up to. Well, sometimes i don't get carded, only bonus i guess. =P

Btw in response to "stuttering being a obvious disorder". That's simply not true with MOST people. Anyone who has ever become closer with me and i've asked their FIRST thoughts of my speech, i'd get from "i thought you were mentally handicapped ....USUALLY i get nervous.....a lot of unsure of what you want to say(s)....among other non complimentary reactions.

I've heard people say "well i know so and so who stutters but he's very confident and very popular with the ladies". I really don't believe that....you can't LOOK confident even if you FEEL confident when your stuttering on your own name, on your own major, on your own opinions. The act of stuttering makes you appear NOT confident, and how can someone with that disorder even appear it, when he/she can virtually NOT control it? Sorry but a slip here or there is different than a medium-severe speech impediment.

Thanks for reading once again, i'm curious as to what opinions there are on this.

I can admit that I (and likeley everyone else on this forum spare you) have no idea on how your situation really works, so the best we can do is take a stab at it and hope it helps, but i guess that's what you are asking for, so I'll give you what I can:

It sounds like you are letting your frame get destroyed whenever you stutter, which leads to more stuttering. If you can stutter, then still manage to remain dominant and in control, my guess would be that people would stop noticing it after a while. It's all about keeping your perception of reality as the highest value guy around in tact and congruent with your stuttering; that's just another one of your quirks that people will grow to love when they talk to you.

If you can keep that frame strong while talking to someone, you'd have a much better chance of handling the situation.

Also; have you looked into hypnosis therapy? I heared once that it can do wonders for stuttering.

dude is it because of a dis function or w/e or because you cant get over it.. I had a stuttering problem when I was little... sure i try to speak as much as I can and sometimes my voice goes a little funny but I don't anymore..