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 Post subject: Looks
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:24 pm 
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How important are looks really to a girl. Im completely new to this and i feel horribly doubtful whether any of this will help because im only 20, im short (about 5,6) and my hair is thinning/balding in the back. I wear a hat everyday because of that and i dress pretty boring especially because im a little tight on money as a college kid. Does anyone have any tips on what exactly i could wear or do to get over these insecurities?? I feel very uncomfortable due to the balding and because im short i feel as though everyone is looking/able to see it at all times. Anything anyone says/style tips/ anything would help. Thanks :?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:37 pm 
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When a woman sees a physically attractive man; if she is walking down the street and sees a man with model looks just in passing but never meeting she becomes aroused much in the way a man does. It is not attraction at this point but arousal. Men are genreally willing to have sex purely on arousal and women (more often than not) will need to be attracted to a guy to feel comfortable with having sex.

However it's not worth a damn worrying or complaining about looks; work with what you got, not what you don't because all you can do is your personal best with what's currently availiable to you.

Overall though this is another gray area the community doesn't emphasize heavily enough because playing the equality card makes it easier for them to make money. If you spark a woman's arousal with your looks she WANTS you to generate attraction which makes things much easier for the good looking guy.

Being brutally honest the "gurus" want you to believe average or ugly guys have as good a chance as good looking guys which they don't. Lucky for us however, looks are not the final foot down like they are with women; an ugly girl has no chance whereas a guy can get a woman as attractive as he wants.

If Mr. A and Mr. B had idential personalies but Mr. A was more attractive the woman would chose him. The reason for this is because when a woman sees a man on the street that is attractive she already places a certain degree of investment, hope and willingness that this guy will have the personality she is looking for and therefore be open to being seduced from the moment she sees him on a street corner.

If you're handsome you don't have alpah status you have a better shot than a guy who is ugly. An ugly guy with no alpha status is like an ugly woman whereas a good looking guy women will really press with because they want to be seduced by him more. Basically If you don't have looks you don't need them but you better have alpha status.

With an average looking guy a woman is not even caring or thinking about this until the guy conveys alpha status at which point the woman will become open to his advances as well.

From a woman's perspective here is what Zip (a woman on this forum) had to say when I presented this question:
Quote:
For me, and for many women, there are different levels of sexual attraction. I'd bet that it's the same for men who will admit to having an emotional capacity.

If I see a really really hot guy... yes, I'll think about pushing him up against a wall and taking him. I wonder what it would be like to get his clothes off, what his penis looks like, what it would feel like... all of that. Women DO think like this. Not just me. Read "normal" women's blogs. It's filled with this carnal sexual fantasy capacity.

If I meet a normal guy with a fantastic personality, I wonder what kind of person he would be like to date. If I get to know him, I think about how that personality would come out in the bedroom. As I become more attracted to his personality, his social standing, his command of the room and of himself, I become more and more sexually attracted to him. This can even happen if I'm not initially sexually attracted to him. I've had some of the most fulfilling relationships with men I never DREAMED I'd be attracted to. Actually, I've had some of the most sexually fulfilling and continually attracted experiences with people I thought I'd ONLY dig on a friendship level (initial sexual attraction IS NOT everything.)

I've found myself sleeping with someone who I was REALLY initially sexually attracted to and thinking about someone that I wasn't initially sexually attracted to... but the latter sexual attraction had become so strong that I can't stop thinking about the other guy.

To further answer your question, and get back to my original point... there are different categories/layers of sexual attraction:

A. Initial Physical
B. Grown Physical
C. Emotional Connection (which, at least for me, makes sex 10x better)
D. Charismatic Connection

I've had just A. I've had D + C + B. I've had C + B. I've had A + D + C + even more B, if you can believe that.
- Chris 8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:58 pm 
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There is no short term solution for the hair, apart from wearing a hat or just shaving it all off. Remember, bald is a choice - balding is not. If you suit it, go for it! If not, hats are good, as long as you suit the hats you wear and have a variety so it's not the same one every day. As for your clothes, it isn't expensive to pick up a couple of decent pairs of jeans and some nice shirts or hoodies, or whatever suits you. At the end of the day it's mostly how you carry yourself anyway... if you carry yourself with confidence, and you appear to be comfortable and can make yourself at home anywhere, it will do a lot more for you than fancy clothes. As long as you aren't wearing a granda sweater and horrible chinos or something you'll be fine... submit a picture if you want, that way we can guide you better.

As for your height, just remember that height is a social attraction switch, not a biological one. What this means is, while you may be a very attractive person, it would still be preferable to the majority of women for you to be taller BUT it has no substantial detriment to your overall physical attractiveness. These views are held only because of pop culture and in reality it isn't much of an issue unless you really make it out to be one. Like I always say, it's only a big deal if YOU make it one. I know it can sound somewhat patronising from people of average height because "they don't have to deal with the same problems and wouldn't know anything about it", but we all have issues of our own and have to put them aside to get on with things in a similar fashion, so nobody is really unique in that respect. If you're really conscious of it a lot, ways to combat it are to simply not to hang around with people who are much taller than you while picking up women, or wear boots with insoles rather than trainers to give you a few more inches. It's not much but hey, if it gives you a confidence boost I'm all for it. Style is a pretty short guy and he's one of the best PUAs out there. Well, one of the best known anyway. We don't know for sure who the best is. Anyway, case in point, he doesn't give a shit about his height and neither does anyone else, simply because he doesn't make an issue of it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:32 pm 
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If you show her that you're the tribal leader and it won't matter.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 12:55 am 
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hey bud you sound like me sorta lol.... Im 18 not balding actually Im kinda near the prime of my life :):) but anyways Im 5'6 and seen both guys and girls shorter than me.... but gets me through this though??? I always say this: its only a big deal if you make it one and that things could be way worse you could be shorter :lol: or born with no penis :shock: see what Im saying?? it helps also just to let you know... the classic example. one of the greatest pcikup artist amybe even as great or greater than mystery- Neil Strauss he is 5'6. Mystery is like what 6'5 or something and they get the same amount of women 8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 1:05 am 
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Quote:
I always say this: its only a big deal if you make it one
That's my saying! Plagiarist! Nah, it's all good. Keep on saying it cos it's one of the best pieces of advice I give, and the more people we have saying this the better.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 1:28 am 
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lol did not lol also another favorite ALL TIME that can help as well: Attraction is not a choice LOL let that mold in forawhile its one of the greatest quotes I ever heard lol


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:52 am 
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Search "Mehow" on youtube. He is super ugly, but still manages to play the game perfectly.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:27 am 
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Quote:

Being brutally honest the "gurus" want you to believe average or ugly guys have as good a chance as good looking guys which they don't.
The gurus want people to see that they can still get a HB without looking like brad pitt. I have yet too see any of them say that looks aren't a factor in selection.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 1:38 pm 
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Quote:
The gurus want people to see that they can still get a HB without looking like brad pitt. I have yet too see any of them say that looks aren't a factor in selection.
They don't hide it but they do severely downplay it's value.

- Chris 8)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:23 pm 
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Thanks for all your help guys, you've definitely helped me out. Id say for me my height isnt even an issue at this point but i just feel more uncomfortable because all of the people around me are usually the preppy/clean cut good looking guys. I recently buzzed my hair to get it shorter and not as evident to see the thinning of my hair. I think its worked fairly well so far and everything you all said was completely right. I gotta live with a who gives a fuck attitude and it will come through to others that my negatives are inconsequential. Thanks again


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 6:11 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:

They don't hide it but they do severely downplay it's value.

- Chris 8)
I feel that is becuase for the most part it can't be changed, and getting men to become narccistic and wary over something they can't control can only add insecurity and nothing much else.


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