Hey all,

Really glad to be in here and reading leanring with such a bright group. As far as PUA goes I am hardly a PUA... I would say I display AFC traits as well as PUA traits generally all the time. So I'm somewhere in between.

I figure my biggest problem is the fact that I have maybe the worst memory of anyone you've ever met. So for me my problem has never been to walk up to a girl, AA, or to convo a girl. In fact in highschool I was the guy that made the jocks and the geeks jealous. I am the in-between guy. I hung out with the Hottest girls in our high school; but herein lies the problem. I was always there friend and usually by the time I ran my very long drawn out game, it was too late and the girls, who always admit they were interested in me in the past, end up with b/fs, which never stopped... xD. So I guess a big problem for me is I can't close, although the rest i don't have so much trouble with. (*6)

I always like to dress nice. I work out all the time, play many sports, so generally when I walk into a club, I get the looks from all the girls. It always been like this for me. Next. I have no problem approaching girls like I said. Why be afraid. If there is one thing I have learned in my life, it's that second chances come few to none. So take it when you get it.

Where I've determined my problem is... bad habits. I am so used to being hit on and having girls approach me that now I get in a club and I wait. Or when i do approach I don't really know where to take the convo, because normally I have a girl leading me.

So now I am in a position of envy of all you guys who know different methods, techniques etc. and have the confidence to just talk away to any girl as if you are her prize. kudos to you all!

My first attempt (field report) using some of the techniques I've learned here: (Please grade, be direct I can take criticism, and help)

Ok so a couple of nights ago I went out with a friend of mine from Brazil who is very natural with girls. My opinion is that he doesn't really shoot for girls I consider HB 7+, but I have extremely high standards after having some of the girlfriends I've had.

So we went out on a whim actually no prior plans to go out, to a club and seen that it was filled with guys, all AFC's dancing by themselves as two groups of HB8+'s danced alone on one side of the dance floor. Picture you're first dance/so-cop you've ever been too where the girls and guys stand on either side of the room. Pathetic. So me and my buddy get drinks and head straight to the side of the room where all the girls are dancing. And begin to dance ourselves.

Immediately all of the girls turned their focus to us. Of course it helps that he is a pro beach-volleyball player from Brazil and I am a Canadian athletic looking guy, and we are in Holland. So as we are dancing and all six of these girls turn from looking at the crowd of drooling AFC's and begin looking us up and down, one girl who wasn't dancing, and looked kind of frustrated at the lack of attention she and her friends were getting looked me in the eye gave birth to a giant smile and began dancing towards me. Of course, as the problem i have always had with girls, she was only one of the average (compared to the girls in her group) grils there maybe an 8. Personally an 8 is great but when there is a 9 and a 10 standing right in front of you an 8 just doesn't cut it. At least this is the way I have always thought.

Now as someone who is approached by girls before getting the chance to do it myself, this is a big problem and one I will ask for help on. (Lets put a (*1) here and the problem is now listed at the bottom.)

So as this girl begins to dance towards me, I notice that my target the HB10, who is actually standing on the dance floor next to the group talking with her friend a HB9 and more or less examining the guys in the club, is looking at me, even as her friend continues to talk to the back of her head. So I begin to move towards her when I am cock-blocked (*2) by the HB7 who was dancing with the HB8 that was coming towards me. She just moved in front of me &#% is all I could think as the HB10 just smiled at me and walked away after her friend. So I am now stuck dancing next to a HB7 and an HB8 that I could easily K-close/#-close, or even F-close if I worked hard enough. But my interest is elsewhere, I need 10s.

So next to the HB7 & 8 are two other girls who are HB9's. and both are looking at me. So I turn to dance with them and then I freeze and think... (*3). They keep looking at me, but at this point I have been dancing now by myself for a minute and feel like a tool, realistically for no good reason other then, damnit I don't speak dutch and the music is crazy loud, so any attempt at talking to them in English is useless. (*4) So as I am dancing there with a small gap between me and my friend next to the group of girls who have now turned us into AFC's, the HB 9 and 10 come back and stand directly between myself and my friend. The HB 10 looks at me smiling while the HB9 stands in front of her with the "I have fangs in my vagina" look. I hate that look.

So here is my chance. I say &%# it, I'm going for it no-Dutch and all. And I say Hey good beats. They both just look at me expression less. So I decide that I will though in something of a neg towards the HB 10 and say, "you are a great door but not much of a window. You just cut my friend out and now he's all alone." I thought this was ok. Although it was loud and the only response I got was from the 9 (w/fangs) who said "wha". I didn't know if they didn't hear me or if they didn't speak english. But one thing I have learned about girls is that re-stating something always decreases your position, as nothing is as funny if you have to re-state it. So I instead went with "do you speak English?" To which the HB 9 immediately barked "NO" and grabbed her friend and walked away. (*5)

So I am usually referred to as a player back home. But I think its an unfair representation of me, as I don't think I am a player, I just live in a small place and don't like commitment . But as it is. I really don't care if I get rejected like this. I think that freting over past mishaps only brings me down so I keep positive and approach the group of girls next to me. But before I do anything my friend who is taking photos asks them to get in a shot and throws me off. And I am then standing behind him and them but they are all still checking me out, even after watching me get turned down by the other girls. So I think... (again, big problem I have) for a second when my buddy looks at me and says alright lets get out of here... and we leave. (*7)


(*1) - how do you go after a target once one of her less attractive friends has already become very interested in you?

(*2) - where can I find a good wing?

(*3) - I hate thinking, do it waaaaaaay too much. How do I shut my brain off?

(*4) - what should I have done here? I don't speak a word of dutch and every girl with the exception of two that I #-closed, in clubs I meet instantly back away when I speak English.

(*5) - What should I have said here?

(*6) - I can't close, even when the girl has given me all the IOI's I need I still get nervous about the rejection, any tips?

(*7) How should I have approached these girls?

Thanks for any help you can give me in advance,
Guud[/list]

I hope someone more experienced than me can answer your questions soon because i have a lot of the same questions. However, I can maybe kind of help you with the HB7 interruption.

Win over as many sets as you can so you look like you literally own the place. If this girl is too interested in you, be sure to use a false time constraint and then when the time feels right you politely excuse yourself. This is when you come back and approach the other set. You've already developed some pre-selection by gaming on the other set of girls. Not only that, but you can use those HB7s to make the other girls jealous if you need to.

Though i dont know how useful any of this advice is if no one speaks english haha

You can't ignore them, but you don't have to let them get in the way of what you really want... talk to them a little to be polite and keep them sweet, then isolate the girl you're after so you can game her. The best thing you can do is pretend to be interested in the other girls... I know this sounds strange but hear me out. By doing this, when you tell them you want to have a quick chat with their hotter friend, they're very unlikely to have an issue with that, because they think you'll get blown off by her and that you'll start gaming them instead. Fools!
That's a toughie. I personally don't use wings, but you'll want someone on a similar or higher skill level than you. It's either learn and improve together or learn from them... if you want a good wing they need to have decent knowledge of PUA concepts, methodology and common terminology. Of course, finding someone with the necessary skills who you can trust is hard to accomplish unless you have a good friend you're comfortable introducing these concepts to. Remember to make rules and stick to them while you're out; nobody likes a target thief.
That's an easy one. Employ the 3 second rule. When you see a girl you want to talk to, get your ass over there within those first 3 seconds of spotting her before your brain has time to give you reasons to hold on just a second while you figure out what to do. I know a lot of guys who spot a girl, they look as if they're about to approach, then they just stand there looking off to the side while they think about what to say, what to do if she does this and how to react if she does that, and a whole heap of other shit. Less thinking, more getting the fuck over there. You have all this stuff in the back of your head and it will come to you without having to dig for it. Assuming you're smart and you know your stuff, your brain will go into autopilot and everything will just come naturally.
If they don't like you because you don't speak dutch, don't waste your time on them. Simple enough. The fuck were you doing getting numbers anyway? When you're out at a club you don't want to to get a girls number so you can call her the next day and arrange to meet up. My experience is that you take her home the same night or you get nothing.

I knew a dutch guy a few years ago, and he told me people there are very open sexually and you can pretty much just ask a girl if she's going to come home with you later. That being said, this is mainly because they have lighter social conditioning and sexuality is embraced rather than shunned. Social conditioning however cannot control your desires, it merely gives you cause to hide them. Remember, that which you cannot see is not necessarily non-existent. A lot more girls than you'd expect are having regular sex, or at least would like to be, no matter where you go. I mean it. Nine times out of ten they're only pretending to be offended as this is the only way of finding out what kind of guy you are without compromising the boundaries set in place by their social conditioning. You're either a confident and persistent guy who knows what he wants, or a little bitch who gives up at the first sign of a challenge... I know which one I'd rather be seen as, even if it turns out she really is offended and tells me to fuck off.
Nothing. Just look at her as if she's not right in the head, smile and walk away. There aren't many true bitches out there, but when you meet one, don't waste your time. She has sand in her vagina.
Dive the fuck in. Imagine having a meal set in front of you. You've never tried it before but it looks and smells delicious. You are handed a knife and fork, then your favourite sauce, and everything else you need to make it go down just the way you want it to... what possible reason could you have to be afraid of eating it? If everything is going well and you pussy out, you will have zero chance of hooking up with that girl, even if she really likes you. In the case that she isn't interested, at least you KNOW that she isn't interested and you have the satisfaction of another otherwise successful approach. Next time things are going well for you, hand her your damn phone and tell her you want to get together, and that you'll call her to sort something out. If you don't, you get zero. I give you a 99.9% possibility that she says yes anyway.

If you're scared of rejection you'll be stuck with zero, which is ten times worse than not sucking it up and trying. If you don't try then you'll never know, and you'll be kicking yourself up the ass wth all the ways things could have gone better strapped to your foot. If, in the VERY unlikely event that a girl turns you down, it can still work in your favour. I'll point out some little facts for you. These are two biggest worries the guys I've dealt with have had:

"If she says no, I'll have ruined my chances with her and we'll never hook up and she's gonna see me around and laugh at me!"

Bullshit. There won't even BE a chance to be ruined if you don't try. And besides, girls have a little thing called letting guys down easy. She will not harm your pride, at least not intentionally. Also, most of the time if they say no or that they have a boyfriend, it's a shit test. Anything short of her telling you to fuck off means she wants you to try harder. As for the last bit, that's just plain paranoid. She's just another girl.

"She's gonna go back to her friends and tell them what a loser I am for hitting on her and they'll laugh at me and I won't have a chance with any of them either!"

Since when is confidence a laughable asset? Girls aren't evil. I'm not gonna lie, she will talk to her friends... but if she wasn't interested in you then I can guarantee you that her friends will be. I'll give you an example... about a month ago I was doing my thing and the girl told me to go fuck myself and stormed off. Bear in mind that I am very direct and that day I was playing around to see how far I could push her buttons, so you're never gonna experience a reaction like that. Anyway, one day about a week later she pointed me out to her friends. And what happened? One of them, who was actually hotter than the girl Iapproached the week before, came over and actually stopped me to talk... and she gave me her number without me having to ask. That's a good result from the worst outcome I could have imagined, so you have no excuse!

Tell you what, if she really REALLY isn't interested and she isn't just shit testing you, or you don't want to be persistent, just say something like "Hey, I don't mean like THAT, just as friends y'know? You seem cool, that's all.". Even if you just can't get to the point AT ALL like you've been having trouble with, you can still come out on top... tell her you she's cool and you should hang out or something. In which case, yeah, you don't have her where you want her, and she's just a friend... but you now have a female friend to hang out with, to give you social proof, and to hook you up with some of her hot friends cos you're such a cool guy. Also, you will be more relaxed around girls if you hang around with them. And thus, in future, number closing won't be as big a deal to you. There are no losing situations... think about it.
Well, they saw you talking to all the other girls so your social proof was through the roof. Heh, that rhymed. I'm guessing that you were getting good reactions from most of the girls you were talking to, so that's why the ones you're talking about were showing interest... they probably thought you were friends with all of them or something. You should have just approached the way you normally do.

Big thanks Dalziel. I'm heading into Amsterdam this weekend. Going to make it interesting and talk to every girl I can find . Just quick convos. nothing important, but just get used to jumping in and out. I think the time restriction thing is something you mentioned I haven't been using so I want to get used to using that.

Excellent advice though, anything else you can tell me, I'd love to hear. I'll post more critiquing material up after the weekend!

Thanks to you to Toki. I was thinking something along similar lines.

Guud

Hey Itsguud,

I was reading your description, and you sound exactly like me. I am also one of the guys that got the hot girls in high school, made friends with many of them, have an easy time getting girls I already know, but suck with approaching strangers for the reasons that I am afraid of being turned down etc. Other parts of your description also sounds like me; I am athletic, do sports, like to go out, and have been spoiled by girls approaching me before (especially in my home city, Oslo, where I know allot of people, and many people know me), so I never learned the art of picking up girls I see for the first time.

The reason why I'm writing all this to you is because it would be cool to exchange tips/experiences etc. Since we are in kinda the same "situation", maybe similar things will work for both. So let me know what u think!

Regards,
Methods