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I think this may be very true for Chris, but I guess many people (I atleast) come here becuase I am not the alpha male. I kinda suck when it comes to handle women becuase I am such an AFC, before i started out with all this i was the flowergiving AFC who would compliment her on how good she looked while being nervous for a rejection.
I know where you are coming from. When I started high school I was to scared to say even two words to a beautiful woman because I would assume, "she must get hit on all the time, if I talk to her she's definitley going to think I'm hitting on her and be offended/upset with me." I started in the 90s before Mystery Method or any of those other approaches were invented and had a natural friend who helped me work through things from square one. My friend made me (nearly obese and 5'3 at the time) pick-up hit on sets of girls direct on the beach with my shirt off and although you would think it would descensitize me to approaching women the emotions of fear got stored in my brain and slowly creeped up making me feel more nervous in future approaches despite the unparalleled success I was having.
There is nothing wrong with a compliment as long as it is genuine and not an attempt to flatter her ego. That is why direct works so well because AFCs try to flatter the woman while alpha males walk straight in to her world with no excuses, dominate it and take her.
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First thing i failed at was that I didn't go up and talked to girls because I didn't know what so say. Style/MM solved that even if it is fake.
This doesn't really seem to solve the problem though. You can get a girl with this stuff yes but you become like a piano player who reads sheet music but doesn't know basic chord structure at a core level to compose his own works.
Eventually in a relationship you run out of music and can't just replay the same songs over and over. There is fundamentals to entertaining and intriguing conversation that MM won't teach you which train your mind over time to naturally converse in an interesting and creative manner.
Growing up I was probably the worst conversationalist of them all. Having Aspergers gave me far greater challenges with learning the ins-and-outs of social interaction than your average person will ever face in their life. However Techniques always made me feel rather powerless but I know what you mean about them working but they don't really feel like the best avaliable option for achieving goals and potentials. Wouldn't you want something the best for yourself to be like a natural?
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2nd I'm no headturner, I might be considered a 5 on a one->ten scale or something. But with Style/MM that dosent matter because I never show of any intrest in them from the beginning so I don't get rejected right away due to the bitchshields etc.
At one point early on I was picking up girls with direct, blatant, unapologtic behavior and I was borderline obese at the time; when you do things raw (and with the right body language and expressivness) bitch shields for the most part do not exist. A bitch shield is a result of an attractive woman who gets hit on assuming precuations (because you are faking disinterest) and taking actions to protect herself from men who want just her body. The bitch shield is a result of her not knowing what you want or what your intentions are and taking precautions to protect herself. When you are direct (in the right way) with a woman the bitch shield doesn't exist because she knows you have nothing to hide and knows she does not need to go in to protection mode.
Mystery Method can never give you the fullest experience because it imposes so many limitations on your time, behavior and needing to cater to the woman (open her, build value, comfort, play games, ect.) to get her to like you.
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3rd. Even if i somehow, like a miracle talked to a girl, didn't get rejected i would always find myself with nothing to say except the boring AFC stuff like What do you do, do you go to school here etc? Which bores her out in minutes.
You find conversation hard, eh? That's because around attractive women you're either using routines or trying to make sure you're saying all the right things; you're not being natural either way.
It is important to realize when you are TRYING to impress and show off to women as this will ultimatley be your greatest downfall. This is where you're going to freeze up as a result of trying to force something you're doing naturally. I personally can talk about stupid anything. One example I can give is starting a conversation about something as abstract as my legs being tired from exercising on Wii Fit and we will go off on random threads such as how often we exercise, being rambunctions and high energy, liking to keep fit, ect.
I can remember the akward silences and the girls favorite phrase being, "well talk to you later" so I know what not knowing what to talk about is like. I also remember talking to girls after rehearsing body language, tonality, ect. in my mind and then getting so enwrapped in situations that it all got thrown out the windows when that HB talked to me and the emotions flooded me.
Interestesting conversation is FAR easier than you think but they key is to NEVER force it or else you're going to draw blanks. Like anything else the best working things are the most natural.
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Chris, I do seriously wish I could be that Alpha Male and just go up to a stunningly goodlooking girl and say "Hey you seem nice, and i would have killed myself if i didn't take the oppertunity to talk to you" But at the moment I just can't due to I need practise with women first.
Many people say that they use indirect to prepare and get comfortable for transitioning to natural methods but this simply does not work because indirect and direct are two opposite sides of the coin. Once you've gone down this road 10 miles you have to go 10 miles down the other road to get back to where you started and start your travels from the beginning again. It sometimes feels like "I don't have the privillage of letting her know how I feel and having success so I have to take this road which is tougher and more restrictive to get where I want to go." That's at least what it was like for me; I'm not the best out there and how come these guys have it easier than me? I deserve to have things be as simple as they do and shouldn't need some complex routine to get to where I want to go.
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Basic plan is something like.
1. Learn fun things to talk about, routines and ESP and stuff. Use this to talk to girls and let them have a fun time. (Which is something I haven't really done before)
You're not really learning fun things to talk about you're just reciting fun things but not really understanding why they're truly entertaining to create your own. If you've had all this social failiure and never truly had social success then you'll never know how good it feels to be able to be naturally socially skilled and not need other people to spoonfeed you entertaining things.
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2. See everything as practise for my social life. If I get kisscloses or fkcloses, yeah it is nice, but not my main priority at the moment.
3. By succes getting more confidence and smash my AA (should get removed by itself after you suceed enough times)
You'll never smash approach anxiety with their methods and are always going to be left with that void of incompleteness; you'll still feel it always because even if your future is socially successful you haven't truly dealt with your past issues that caused the approach anxiety in the first place.
Take Neil's line from The Game:
“Despite the year and a half I'd spent in the community, despite being supposedly the best, I was still intimidated when I saw a beautiful woman. My old AFC self was always threatening to snap back, whispering that everything I'd learned was wrong, that I was bowing before false gods, that all this game talk was just mental masturbation. But I pushed myself to enter the set anyway, just to prove that little AFC voice in the back of my head wrong…I must kill off that inner AFC. When will he die?”
Logically it makes sense but this stuff is just makeup; it is just a mask you put on almoast like creating two seperate people in the same body but changing one doesn't improve the other. Personally I never like the thought of knowing I was living out moments of my life without reaching my full potential.
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4. Useing my new confidence and all social skills i should have picked up by now to improve my overall social life and aim for the road to become an Alpha Male by nature.
You will never become a real alpha male by nature with these methods because you are not gaining control over a situation as an alpha male does but merely learning to manipulate it.
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Something like that atleast is my plan. But I find the world not always playing by my rules "hehe"
Not playing but the rules is what is going to make you truly effective. The less you play by the rules the more success you're going to have. AFCs try to play by the rules 110% and get nothing. MM PUAs play by the rules initially and slowly sexually escalate and eventually achive their goals. Blatant unapologetic alpha males run everything and walk in on what they want and take it without excuses or apologies.
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Anyway, big thanks for the tips and advices Chris
You're quite welcome!
- Chris
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