I cant get her out of my head. I think Im doing just fine and going out and having fun then she will send a txt and Im screwed and thinking all about her again. How do I move on?

No one can tell you exactly how to get over one-itis; it is situationally dependent and unique to each individual's situation.

This is going to sound crazy but I've done it with enough people to know it works. You need to figure out exactly what it is about her that you can't get over. You need to figure out exactly what it is you THINK she has that you can't get anywhere else and if it's a result of you not having enough options with women what you're afraid to have to go out and struggle to find all over again.

If you do this and give it about a day I can pretty much guarantee you won't feel that compulsion anymore.

- Chris

What if its something only she can give me? I've had a case of one-itis for a few years now, and I've finally come to the conclusion that its sex that I'm missing from her. Sure I can f-close other girls, but I want it from her. Its something I always wanted from her, but never got even when we dated.

_________________
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

I have had this issue myself years ago and what it comes down to is that sex with her will fulfill a deeper need for most men. It's rather like the old AFC mind set, "no one can give me what she can."

Go deeper. Logically it must sound kind of stupid to think that only one woman can satisfy your need for sex; there is something deeper than than that. It could also be a belief held over from your AFC days. You have emotions associated with her that make you believe you need to sleep with her to be satisfied and no one else will do.

What fullfillment might her sex provide that no one else can; beating a challenge? Proving yourself? Emotional resolution?

It sounds like from the fact that you mentioned you never got it when you dated that is has something to do with that.

I've met people who have found out they unconciously have a driving need to lay a woman to "complete what they started".

- Chris

I think you might have something there. The only thing is that I was with a woman for a few years and left her to pursue this one. I have had sex with this one a number of times up to now but she always pulls away after. She will be gone a few days and I will start to get over it then she will contact me and then I am hooked again. I am new to this whole site and lifestyle and have not even had the balls to open a set yet. I know that what will make it better is if I can just go open a few sets and get my confidence going again. I just dont know what to say when I go up to them. Whats the easiest newbie opener for me to just get my feet wet?

Here's one Neil Strauss mentioned that works really well for newbies:

“Hi, I’m just out walking around meeting people, how are you doing?”

Just keep it up though you're confidence will grow.

As far as conversation goes it is important to realize when you are TRYING to impress and show off to women as this will ultimatley be your greatest downfall. This is where you're going to freeze up as a result of trying to force something you're doing naturally. I personally can talk about stupid anything. One example I can give is starting a conversation about something as abstract as my legs being tired from exercising on Wii Fit and we will go off on random threads such as how often we exercise, being rambunctions and high energy, liking to keep fit, ect.

I can remember the akward silences and the girls favorite phrase being, "well talk to you later" so I know what not knowing what to talk about is like. I also remember talking to girls after rehearsing body language, tonality, ect. in my mind and then getting so enwrapped in situations that it all got thrown out the windows when that HB talked to me and the emotions flooded me.

Interestesting conversation is FAR easier than you think but they key is to NEVER force it or else you're going to draw blanks. Like anything else the best working things are the most natural.

- Chris

Well heres the thing, I am really good at sparking up conversation with strangers. I am from the south, born and raised, and generally I have 'never met a stranger.'

The thing is, when I start talking to a woman, I ultimately come off as the nice guy. I have been reading the MM and Mystery talks about openers and FTCs and all that. I have always been intimidated by HB9s and HB10s. I dont know what to say. How can I transfer my confidence and easy-going attitude and make that work in these situations?

I know MM inside and out but I don't use it anymore. I gave up dealing with all that "technical" shit years ago and developed a natural method; I didn't like memorizing and having to do things strategically and wanted things simple and effective lol. I don't use openers all FTCs or make any excuses for why I am around a woman and I get them by being blunt, direct, alpha and unapologetic for my desires as a man.

Most people only come off as "the nice guy" because they are afraid of what people will think of them (society programming) shoud they do, say or act in the way they are REALLY thinking or feeling. You have to realize HBs are no better than anyone else and it only within your own mind that they exist on a pedestal. What is it about HBs that intimidates you over anyone else. When you approach them is the idea of you rocking their world and being fun and interesting running through your head?

I found many techniques for getting in the right frame of approaching HB10s. I approach them with the mindset that I am about to make a marriage proposal to make sure my statements are conveyed with all the genuineness and passion that I'm feeling and that is usually enough to melt most HB10+'s. The best advice I can give you though is what's written about: don't try to impress or show off when you're around them and don't care about the outcome.

This seems to help people:
http://seehere.blogspot.com/2006/08/cel ... akeup.html

Back in high school I was afraid to even ask a woman what our math homework was because I had this crazy ideal that she would think I was hitting on her and think I was a perv.

I've gotten to a point where I was at a Wal-Mart and opened a woman with "You're sexy as fuck and I want to get to know you" so keep the mindset that anything is possible. After I did this the girl stared wide-eyed at me for like 5 seconds and I stared straight back with a slight smile on my face and she said "you're amazing! no one has ever come up to me and said that before!" then she started blushing and when we ended our convo her last sentence after exchanging names was, "That's right, make sure you remember because that's important to me."

- Chris