lol
The only thing in this world that you can really control is yourself. You can only go so far as to influence people through sharing your visions with a strong frame, but bear in mind that you will be met with resistance and strong opposition if you force your views onto another's lifestyle, or if you share your visions with a weak frame.

I can directly relate to your situation because I don't do drugs. I don't even smoke weed. However, there are plenty of girls who do. I rarely meet a girl who doesn't smoke weed. If the topic or an offer is brought up, I decline and simply state that I don't smoke weed. I have never found a need for it, I don't have a need for it now, and I will never have a need for it in the future, unless I go blind and find a legal need for it medically.

The usual response is simply a question as to why I don't do it. I never answer in a way that judges her character in a negative way for her decisions. I answer calmly and in a nonjudgmental fashion. Respect is maintained on both sides, and attraction, comfort, and rapport is not lessened. However, attraction, comfort, and rapport may even increase from your display of an unshakable frame.

We usually find ourselves disrespecting and talking shit about people with strict moral codes because they often have a habit of imposing their views on us. We can even tell that they feel high and mighty for possessing such views, as is they feel like they were better human beings for following their codes. Women and other people will not respond to you in this manner if you shared a genuine respect for all human beings regardless of their views. If there's one thing I learned while living in California for four years, it's that tolerance is a beautiful thing. Knowing that all human beings have an inherent equal infinite value, including yourself and your target, will maintain the harmony of your social interactions. You don't have to be around while she's getting high. Just excuse yourself, and you can even invite her to do things with you that you like doing. Lead her through your world, all the while keeping mindset of "I live in a beautiful world that I want to show you. The reality you live in has just as much value and I won't judge you for living differently, but I know that I can leave you better than I found you if I shared my visions with you."

Having "strict" ethical codes is great as long as they strictly apply to YOU, and as long as you don't strictly apply them to others. You must expect the most of yourself, but don't expect others to be you. We all have different temperaments, talents, and convictions, but as human beings we all still have the same potential to connect with each other through tolerance, love, and understanding.

Now get out and get high on life.

Master Chief,

My question regards MLTRs. First of, is there any good material online that discusses MLTR handling?

I'm currently seeing a girl and furiously sarging, and I can tell she feels a bit uneasy with it. After we had sex, I told her that I'm not going to be exclusive, and I don't expect her to stop dating other guys. She seemed fine with it at first, but yesterday busted out with

"If we're not being exclusive, I don't feel like you're giving us a shot"

To which my response was - This is definitely too early to fully commit. Besides, I'm here with you right now, right?

But she wouldn't let it go. She then suggested going exclusive for a while and seeing if it works - if it doesn't, no big deal. I'm an asshole, so I laughed.

OK, it's not as bad as it sounds - she gave me the LJBF speech before, saying that she just got out of a 3year relationship and didn't want to be tied down. This lack of consistency was apparently not obvious to her.

The conversation ended in passionate makeout (no sex, wrong timing:evil: - probably the reason for her increased possesiveness)

My question is - how do you explain to women you don't plan on being exclusive with her and make them OK with your lack of commitment?

_________________
poland-fr-vt14033.html
here-vp88758.html#88758
here-vp102701.html#102701

On we plough.

Love,

Ace

I've heard from various sources about the issue of lying and being honest about mLTRs, but most sources say or imply to be completely honest:
http://www.becomingapua.com/2008/02/20/ ... tionships/

I remember watching a program called The Perfect Seduction by Badboy where he was talking about handling mLTRs. He recommended that you try both the lying-about-exclusivity and the honest truth to see which would fit your style,but of course he implied that honesty was the best policy.

So, most of the pickup material I've seen out there has mostly been about the lying/truth-telling conflict. There aren't that many other issues that I know of that come up from mLTRs that "regular" pickup material doesn't cover.
You know what? She was shit testing you
You really have to manage expectations here if you're going to leave her better than you found her. You really have to make it clear that you aren't going to be exclusive. Saying "this is too early" isn't going to be strong enough. You want to strongly establish that you two are "enjoying a deep meaningful relationship without expectations, labels, or guilt." (Credit: Kwag of mASF http://fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search ... 6dateto%3D ) It's like living in the moment, you know?
You don't want to be her boyfriend. You "want to be the guy she sneaks around with behind her boyfriends back." (Credit: Pussydriven of mASF http://fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search ... 6dateto%3D ) You can tell that to her verbatim.

As per my own experiences and wisdom, don't get too emotionally attached if you want to have sexual relationships with multiple women at the same time. Find women who wouldn't get too emotionally attached like a crazed soon-to-be fiance, or just manage expectations plentifully and tactfully. You want to make your non-exclusive intentions clear from the get-go. If she doesn't stick with the program, sever romantic ties before things get messy.

By the way, Zip has a LOT more experience with mLTRs than I do. I think you should ask her something in regards to your current situation.

Chief,

I have no question. I just wanted to commend you on your strong ability to share the wealth of knowledge on this subject, especially at your age. I think you make strong contributions to this forum and I believe that you bring about a high level of integrity.

So keep up the good work! I look forward to reading your future posts.

Best,

Jay Wa

Thank you, Jay Wa. That means a lot to me.

Also, check out David X.

What's happening? Okay I'm sure this happens a lot, but I'll ask anyway. I find that when I'm not out to "game" any girls that I interact very well and things move along smoothly. I was always this way, even before PU. But when I do this, I don't really think about closing or anything. When I actually put thought behind my actions...I FUCK IT UP!!!!!! I end up doing all the wrong things and I go completely subAFC. That's what happened with that oneitis girl I talked to you about... but that's kind of the general case for me anyway. My friends tell me that I'm dangerous with women...or at least I would be if I realized what I was doing right. Any ideas or suggestions? I considered hypnotizm and I meditate a lot on the matter, but I just can't wrap my mind around it.

_________________
When you masturbate, God kills a kitten... so do your part to help control the overflowing pet population.

This is a very common issue, and it has to do with the paradox of desire. I have been through the same scenario you speak of. I'd run game really well on girls I weren't really interested in, but when I set my eyes on a target I really wanted to go for, I fucked things up. Now, why exactly does this happen? Why is it that the things we chase elude us? It seems to be the opposite of what "The Secret" preaches, right?

I've been looking into eastern philosophy and I may have found an answer there. After reading "The Zen of Meeting Women" by Max Weiss and watching RSD's new "Blueprint: Decoded" DVD program, my eyes have opened to how eastern philosophy and pickup go neatly hand-in-hand. Ideas in Buddhism such as letting go of the ego leads to a state of superb Inner Game in which you can access that awesome player within you when you're gaming a girl you are genuinely interested in just like when you're gaming that girl you don't care about.

It all boils down to detatching yourself from the consequences. Stop caring about what COULD happen if you did this or that, and just start living in the moment. Start enjoying what you are doing, whether it be this or that. As long as you trust yourself to make the moves that are most consistent with your internal system of values, you can let go of the future and the past and you can start celebrating the present. Do it now before the present is gone into the past.

You already do this when you're gaming that fatty. Start doing that with the targets you want, too. It's all nonresistance, acceptance, and embracing the now.

Many paths, one truth.

man, i need your help BAD. i have read books, watched seminars, talked to two of my wingmen, one of which his prolly the best i know, trying to find the answer.

my problem is, i met this girl the other day. short, beautiful, but confedent and cocky as a motherf@*er. i was hanging out with my two friends (who are brothers) and she was a friend of theirs. i didnt even say a word to her, but in the middle of a convo with me and my friend, she intrjects to ask "are you a faggot?". i replied "no" and she asked again and on the third time, i didnt agnolige her, and she acted like she assumed i was gay. in my mind i was thinking "okay, this girl is just begging for me to game her"then came the problem. everything i did, wether it be c&f, showing her dhv, disqualifers, shutouts, everything, it always came back to her calling me a faggot. that was like her defense against me. i was stuck. another thing i cant understand is that, the first night, she was being a bitch, so i called her out on it, so everytime she called me a faggot, i would call her a bitch, jokingly. and it must have worked, cuz she made me hashbrowns and didnt ask anybodyelse if they wanted any, but the next day, she was still being a bitch, but in OVERDRIVE. there was no hint of intrest in me from her. she got in my car with me and a few mutual friends, but kept calling me gay again, but this time, there was no joking tone behind it. we got pulled over by the cops and i thought, "this could be a good chance to show my cockyfunny to her by doing it to the cops." when they asked for my id, i said "sorry its not a good pic", i teased her for not knowing her own name when the cop asked for it, which she laughed about (maybe an ioi), and i had a bag of porn that my friend who works at a porn shop gave me, and when the cops searched my car (because when the cops were walking to the driver window, lacy (the girl) said "i hope nobodys got any pot on them") and found them, i joked "i know sir, i'm a perv". and i messed with the cop so much, that i actually got him to take one of the magazines with him!!! lacy seemed to be loving me at that moment, but once we pulled the car away and started driving again, she began showing me disintrest again. i can't figure her out.
in my time of picking up women, i thrive on the moments when they tell me "your a mystery" or "i cant figure you out". i once had a girl who was six years old than me and i worked with, try to start a relationship with me and she told me on more than one occasion "usually i have the guys chasing after me, but this time, i'm the one doing the chasing and it sucks." ...but now, everything that i did to these girls, LACY IS DOING TO ME! its scary to think that she is the female version of me. please help me out with anything and everything you can. thanks

T-weck,
I would strongly advise you to sit down and think about what type of women you want in your life. Make a list or a chart if it helps. What type of women do you actually want to give love and value to? What type of women do you think would bring the most value to your life?

The girl you are describing is addicted to shit-testing. She thrives on feeling attraction for guys that put her in her place after she challenges them. I personally wouldn't want to associate myself too closely with these kinds of women unless it was for some hardcore shit-testing practice. I certainly wouldn't want a relationship with one of these kinds of girls because it would be very mentally draining to be constantly having to fulfill her needs based on this addiction.

Remember, a really good PUA says "no" more than he says "yes," just like any high-quality woman.

However... if she makes you hashbrowns...
Switch the frame around and start qualifying the fuck out of her. Every time she shit-tests you, whip out a push/pull and a qualifier, as if you are trying to figure out if she's good enough for you. Don't forget to reward with kino and SOIs and punish with IODs. By the way, one of Jlaix's response to the whole gay thing is:

HB: Are you a faggot? You're gay, aren't you? You're gay.
Jlaix: (with a straight face) Why? You need blowjob tips?

God I love hashbrowns... but her cooking better be worth it.

I didn't even think of that for my current problem. But what qualifies a short succinct question, I think my sticking point might be a little too complex for an opinion opener, and girls might just think it's weird if a stranger dove into detail immediately on the subject

They'll think it's weird if you think and act like it's weird. You get what you expect.

On the flip side, they'll think it's normal if you think and act like it's completely normal to ask a stranger's opinion on something.

You didn't tell me what your "current problem" or sticking point is, so there's not much I can tell ya, buddy. However, I can absolutely tell you that it hardly matters at all what your opener is, as long as you OPEN. Sure, opinion openers are designed so that you reach the social hook point within the opening phase, but you can do that within your routine stack. You can even hook simply by persisting or "plowing." Don't worry so much about what you're going to open with. Keep your eyes on the horizon without obsessing over the steps directly in front of you.

you're absolutely right about that^

Here's my sticking point, its a repost but im pasting it here

My question concerns DHV in a foreign country.


So here's the story;
I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months. Basically I picked her up through a series of situations where I just happened to be an alpha in a few ways...
1. Physically; at my sport- skiing / ski competitions.
2. Socially; having a GREAT time every single night
3. Economically; I was the only one that was living off savings rather than working a shit job in the ski town
4. Physically; not too sound cocky but there was not much competition in the beauty department.

Anyway everything has been going great. But recently she started talking to her (long term) ex boyfriend. He has a new love interest (as does she) but they still hang out on occasion, and it's a little concerning. Especially when you consider the fact that I'm visiting, from a different country, and from different social circles.

I'm sensing that she's wondering if she made the right choice, and I want to prove that she did. Right now my gameplan when I visit is to just have a great time, and to Win the men in order to win the women.

I think talking about her relationship with the ex is a disaster waiting to happen. But i dont know how to handle this situation

I should also mention that she is going to a party that he (the ex) will be at this weekend, and also that her IOI's have tailed off in these past few weeks, which is a little troublesome.

My gut instinct is to be the same alpha I was when we met. But Im also concerned that gaming her friends, or ignoring the target could backfire and kill the great rapport we have going.


prognosis?

Oneitis. GFTOW.

Details that troubled me:
> You "happened" to be alpha? Take control over yourself.
> You're concerned that she's talking to another guy. You actually see him as threatening "competition." A PUA wouldn't have this concern because A. Women are abundant, and B. He would be confident that being with him is the best choice a woman can make, so he wouldn't see "competition" as threatening.
> You want to PROVE that she made the right choice. Why the hell would you want to do that? Your life shouldn't be a chick flick.
> You think that there is a "situation" that you have to "handle." There is no situation. And, yes, talking about her ex with her may very well be disastrous.
>Your last paragraph is implying that you haven't been being the "same alpha" as when you met her. Why the hell not? Of course you are going to kill attraction if you revert to being Beta.
>Your last paragraph also implies that you don't know the value of giving IODs, jealousy plotlines, and (false) takeaways.

Let go of this one. She's causing you to revert into a Beta mental frame. It's called Oneitis. GFTOW.

Oke oke. so I got my heart broken. It was a long process of improving and also helping me into a oneitis illusion I guess...

My looks are crappy, but I lost like 10 kg and have a good build SPAM.

I know her for a half year now. We met at my evening job in the supermarket. Started with smalltalk, bit of this and that. I was a lot less confident in those days and was still kinda stuck in bad old habits.

We had a pretty ok start I guess. The prob was I did talk too much on msn and so on. Just being very attention needy and stuff. After some time I learned this was not going 2 work. So I quitted this pattern.

I saw her like couple of times in the bus. In this period. The talk was nice and I got some IOI's. But didnt have the nerv to push it further. There were some moments of attraction. In all the msn talk I tried to show enough value in the stuff I do differently and think differently. Some push and pull ect.

At some moments I could project my romantic side and she was aware of this so she has told.

So she had a very busy period cause of the escalation of 2 studies she was doing. We didnt see each other that much. I kinda stopped with the whole msn chatting.

My birthday was coming closer, and she was invited. All my friends were there. And it was very nice. I had a good and confident start when she arrived. At a certain moment my friend pushed me so hard I bumped into her and fucked up her white new pants with berry liquir. Alltho after some time I just couldnt regain control/attention. But I kept myself passive and confident. We had some good moments at that time. Too little prolly. So in the end when I showed that I wont "dance to her music" She was planning 2 leave. she went up to me and gave me 3 kisses goodbye. My kino that nite was good enough. And when she left she kept looking me in the eyes while she was in the car even and was waving.

So ok, for her bday she gave me a writing block in Shakespeare cover. I let her wait a whole day before I told her that I really liked it and it was inspiring. This rly had her thinking bout it and the next day I just felt some more attraction from her on msn. But i fucked up by messeging the Congratulations, I just thought bout you messege line. At the wrong moment.
She cut me off at that moment. Since than I stopped giving her much attention. We had a date last wednesday. My bday was like 2 weeks ago.

The weekend before the date we met in the city. I was a bit drunk and my inner game was fucked. She sensed it. So at one moment I was so desperate I didnt want to talk to her anymore I said. Cause she kinda was digging my alpha mate who was on my birthday too. This just hurted me. But in the end It wasnt that bad. She reacted by giving me her drink to take a zip( bad mistake to take it?) I was just frustrated my attempts kinda got shunt. And felt the pressure to do something good.
Eventually we were leaving and I asked her if she still wanted to go wednesday, she said yes... I made the mistake to become too needy and miserable when I came home by calling her and acting rly sry...

We went to an arcade hall. I was leading the whole topics. Showed some strong opinions. My body language was open and my talk steady and nice. Had some good subjects, and teased her a little bit. In the end we had a bit too much cofort in the train back to home. Our eyes cought eachother at one moment. She asked what? And I said nothing (doh) There was not that much room for kino's that night... We talked much stuff and I kinda figured out (too late) we had rapport. At some moment she was showing pictures of her messy room and her horse on the phone(???) And I noticed some IOI's. I can say I was much more alpha on that day. Not fully gaming, but enough to attract... Most dumb thing was to tell her I didnt have much experiance with women. But she knows im in a changing process and respects that.
The date was finished and I didnt kiss close, only hug and 3 kisses.

The thing is, shes a church going girl, but I figured out shes totally unprude and seems to be easy at the right moments...
So shes like this 18 year old girl. She doenst have much free time and lot stuff to do always. When she goes out all the lame ass guys hang around her. I bet she rly gets high on all that attention. But the thruth is I know in my very own soul that my qualities beat those of them, and displayed it enough(Its a very primitive tribe that goes to those places) She learn for a high degree to go Uni and become a doctor. (one of the things that I admire in her).

But ok, the days after the date she didnt act very attracted tho. I called her 1 time to ask for a second date, since timing seemed right. She didnt pick up, and didnt call back at all. I have some doubts at some important frame facts... I didnt neg enough and too much confort... I was telling too little on the story part and too much bragging I guess. But in a way like stuff that I just do and I feel happy about.

She was in the city this saturday. So ok, she knew I would come by for a few mins just to see her. I came in she was pretty drunk. So she was texting. And I quicky pulled out my phone and typed Hi on the screen and showed it to her. She reacted by throwing herself on my with a hug. So I just sitted there a bit. So I asked her if she did bring my sunglasses (I left the in her purse by accident on the date, we both forgot.) She forgot ofcourse. But it was a bit of a tease. The most funny thing was I found out the boat of my parents has the same name as her that midday: Colinda. I told her that and she was shocked, like with a hand in front of her mouth shocked. I didnt have much sharp talk at the moment, so I moved on to talk to some old friends who were there. Later I came back just to say that I came to see the smile she showed me on wednesday. She again reacted flabbergasted. And moved her hand in front of her mouth. So now it was my time to leave. She said ok and touched me while I was walking away calmly.

The evening flew by and in the end I should have known better. At one moment I couldnt get a group to join for a taxi.( I just dont hang much with the people from this village) So i called her and she was very distant saying stuff like, our taxi is full, sry. So later I called where she was. Cause the taxi pickup spot is at front of some discotheke she was. But she didnt tell me where she was... So I thought fuck it and waited in the rain for 45 mins cause some peepz were going the same direction as I with the taxi.

Finally the taxi came and I seated in the front. And what do you know? There she goes with some dude, laughing and having a small goodbye kiss... My heart just broke. So she entered the taxi. I looked at her and said hi. Than I just sat calm and messeged her that this hurts, but I can move on now.r. She didnt know what I ment @ first. But I explained my intentions were from the heart, from the start. Thru this messege conversation she started to talk to me like 2 times. But I was rly calm and not talkative. So after this she kinda became more silent. I just left the taxi by not saying anything. The last thing she messeged was ?!?!!??! I will cut contact for now, what she did just hurted me, but I showed it hurted me, but I learned something.

But ok I feel I have to move on now and change my game for the best. The basic understandings are there and my interaction with the opposite sex just got a satifactionairy boost. I still have a lot to improve. But my vibe is positive and layed back SPAM. Just need the consistancy and some motivations.

On the other hand. I am sure I displayed some decent values as life lover, creative mind as writer, poet, musician and joker. So the question is: Do I completly should cut her off. Or wait on the way she reacts after this. I figured in the end I was just doing push and pull, but not as smooth as I would like to. I did some open loops and they payed off the best.. I still want my sunglasses back also!

Hope you have enough clues to atleast give me a strong opinion or suggestion how to continue this.