I met X through work (an 8.5/10) in 5/07. We hung out about 1 week after I met her and proceeded into a loose dating relationship. I saw X on average about once every 2 weeks, slowly escalating our physical intimacy each time and building comfort. On the "off" weeks, either I was too busy to see her, or she was too busy to see me. We talked about 2-3 times a week with an average of 30-60 min a phone call.

On some weeks, she would straight out blow me off, and vice versa - though in hindsight I now see that she did most of the blowing off because I was too aggressive (asked her out all the time etc.).

In 9/07, we finally engaged in sexual activity beyond making out/groping - she gave me a BJ. We saw each other again 2 weeks later and made out and slept together, but she was in no mood for sexual activity. The new few times I saw her, I could not move past the making out stage. One month later, she received a business opportunity overseas and left. I immediately tried to remain in contact with her, having a phone conversation overseas about once every two weeks and exchanging e-mails every once in a while. Soon X became distant and didn't respond as much.

My friend gave me the "mystery method", which I read through - and immediately distanced myself communicatively from X and acted busy. From 12/07-4/08 - I completely changed the dynamics of my relationship with X through acting distant. Now she was the one trying to keep in touch with me, and I was the one who was selectively replying to e-mails and phone calls.

She returned home this past weekend and we hung out the day after her flight (this past Saturday) at a work party. We had a great time and ended up making out/cuddling etc. There was no sex location, so our night ended with a kiss and a hug at 3am. Whereas normally from before I would have sent her a txt saying 'hope you had a good time ' or something similar, I played distant again. She IMed me the next day asking me how was I doing etc, and I politely brushed her off. It is now Tuesday - and I want to smoothly and quickly seal the deal with X and create a reliable sexual relationship.

Whew.... thanks for reading those of u that read this whole thing. Any advice???

I'd say keep on the track your on.
Obviously since you've been applying the MM she is more interested and attracted to you.
Keep it up.
Make sure your intentions are clear too, and make sure you stay in control.

_________________
--Brad

Thanks. MM-wise - I do not think I should ask her out this week - precisely because she's probably expecting me to revert to my old AFC ways and do so. What do you think of this?

Don't ask her out directly.
Tell her that your going to a party/club/bar with some of your friends, and she should bring some of her friends and come if your free.

Or tell her you have a very important event, and you need shopping assistance. Then tell her you usually always bring *lisa*, but she's out of town and you need a subsititue female critic.

Then when you get more IOI's and your sure sure sure she's into you, then set up something more private, but when you do, dont ask her, tell her.

"ok so i'll pick you up at 8 on thurs"
HB: for what?
"i gotta go, turkey's burning"

If she follows up and says she can't on thursday, say "thats cool, i can go to that hockey game with *lisa* now"

Say stuff like that, never ask her if she wants to go to dinner, then she can say no haha.

_________________
--Brad

So I didn't try contacting her all week - and then she IMs me today asking how I'm doing. I DHV her/joke around. She laughs and we continue to chat a bit. She says she has to run to the gym but says to call her later if I want. Originally, I was not going to ask her out this weekend to prove a point - but this is the second time she's initiated conversation this week since I saw her Saturday and made out (don't think this was a buyer's remorse situation since we have history). Advice? I was thinking I'd txt her later after e-mailing photos from Saturday - then call, chat a while - and then bring up the weekend nonchalantly with no agenda in my voice. like 'omg we should seriously just chill at the beach and watch indy this weekend' after a 10-minute comfort building conversation (the beach is by my place). Advice?

So I did end up asking her out - I asked her out for Memorial Day on Sunday.

5/26
We went to dinner Memorial Day night and ate pinkberry - but she had to take a relative to the hospital at 4am so I ended the night early at 12. I gave her a massage in my car in front of her house and made out - then asked her to watch Indy with me the next day in my part of town.

5/27
So the next day, she drove in rush hour for an hour to meet me at my place. I drove her to the theatre, building comfort, kinoing, negging/DHVing - rewarding with the occasional IOI. After the movie, we pickup some Thai food to go and bring it back to my place. I ask her if she wants something to drink as we setup all the food in my room and put on a dvd. She declines. We eat, and then start making out. I start undressing her and put my hands on her breasts - then she asks me calmly "What do you think of all this". I jokingly avoided the question while escalting - but then she insisted. So I asked what SHE thought. Summed up - this is what she said. She said she likes me a lot, really likes me, and doesn't want to rush things because she's afraid it'll mess things up. She said the reason she wants to go slower is because she likes me *that* much (I don't get this - if she likes me that much why couldn't we hit). So instead of sexually esclating, we ended up cuddling/sharing/building comfort/making out for the next 2-3 hrs. She goes home.

5/28
I txt her "goodnight" around 11pm. She txts me back immediaetly "Night. Sleep well"

5/30
I call her around 5pm and leave a VM "sup. Its me. hit me back later"
She calls back around 8:30, and we talk for about 30 min - and I end up asking her out for the next day to goto a screening. She says yes and sounds really excited. I say we'll play it by ear the next day.

5/31
I call her around 12:30 and dont leave a msg. She txts me around 1:30 "hi how are you?". I txt her back about 30 min later "at the gym. what're u doing?". She replies immediately: "Been at the hospital all day and prob most of the night I won't be able to make our date tonight. Everyting is fine don't worry just tiring." I txt her "All good. hospital makes me worried just a bit. hope everythings ok. Lemme know if u need anything" - she responds with "Ya everything is fine don't worry but thx"


I haven't heard from her since. Advice????

It seems you have forgotten what initially got her re-attracted to you in the first place my frined.

[quote="jackfrost2323"] Whereas normally from before I would have sent her a txt saying 'hope you had a good time ' or something similar, I played distant again. She IMed me the next day asking me how was I doing etc, and I politely brushed her off. quote]

Now you post most recenlty that you have contacted her every day for 5 days in a row and asking her to hang out half of them. Also you asked her for another date while you were on one something I always would recommend against.

I wouldn't call her for a few days, my guess she'll call or text u within 2 days, bump off her first contact either ignore it all together or give her a short hey ... gotta go. I've noticed the ignore is extremely powerful after u were sorta pursuing a girl a little to much or even post break-up. You end up getting a 2nd call on her part within 24 hours.

Anyways remember that playing hard to get aka being a challenge is an on going thing you will Always need to do not just do to get a girl and then go back to chasing her. Prob is a lot of guys yo-yo as do I at times (no one is perfect, especially when you really like a chick). We will chase chase chase then frezze out the girl comes back and we start chasing again and repeat.

As Invincible said, you have slipped back in to your old routine, what happened to the new you? You know, the one that used some game to get her back. You need to re-stamp your authority on this relationship, use some DHV again, take it back a step - she said she wanted to take things slow, so why are you acting as though you want to marry her next weekend?

- SC