Sarging French Chicks in Shanghai (huh?)



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PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:21 pm 
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Field report in a nutshell.
Background: I'm in shanghai for 3 weeks studying at a University, and i've just finished my first week here. This was my first saturday night here. I hit up bon bon nightclub. There was a rap show on, so it was packed with people. about 20-30% were westerners, but the rest were asian. I was peacocking simply by being white, but not as much as on a non-rap night. I know an impressive amount of chinese for a white guy, especially given my age and that I've only been learning for a week or two. it REALLY impresses the chinese students here how quickly I'm picking it up.

I approached almost no one, and spent most of my time dancing. I connected with a girl who could dance, spent hours dancing with her and her friends, spinning her friends as well as her, trying to keep them all interested (I was marginally successful, I'm sure they thought I was a cool guy)
I generally just busted a move and made sure everyone had fun. It was 4-5 girls and me. I'd use body language to invite others into the set. Guys were grateful for this, and girls were receptive as I'd already built social proof. I seemed like I was friends with everyone in the club.

I tried to always be the one to break out of a grinding session first. There were plenty of mini takeaways that kept her coming back for more. She ate it up, I had a blast! around 4 AM the dance floor cleared up a bit and my target and I were attracting positive attention from everyone as we danced.
It was time to go. I told her and her friends that my wing and I were heading out for some fresh air and a bite to eat, and they could come along if they wanted. They declined. I think they figure'd nothing would be open at 4:30 on a sunday morning. Probably a good call.

I ask for her number. No phone in shanghai. Does she use facebook? No, she does not use facebook. "Well you have email right? You can't be a COMPLETE caveman!" Yes, she has email. "Alright, here." She needs a pen. No one has a pen. We go to the lobby to find a pen from the ticket girls. Oh snap, target sees Carlos busting out the Mandarin and making the ticket girls laugh. DHV! I get her email, I give her my business card, and we fluff a bit.

Does she want to go for a walk and some food? She has to check with her friends.
Target: "Will you wait for me?"
Carlos: "I dunno...."
Target: *playful punch*
Carlos: "alright, but DON'T keep me waiting. Kiss goodbye... and, other cheek. okay, shoo! Vite, vite, vite!"
a few minutes later she finds me chatting with my wing outside. her friends won't let her come. We fluff a bit, and I leave.

I fucked up k closing. should've done the "do you want to kiss me" k close. Instead... I was leaning back against the door. I motioned her in to me, and she averted her head for a hug, I hugged her... and kissed her neck. I know, dumb, but whatever, it was almost 5 in the morning. Live and learn.

Now, I'm pretty sure I know what I did wrong with this night:
Didn't obey the 3 second rule.
Didn't approach many sets
Should've done more locations changes, and involved her friends more.
should've done more comfort building and dhvs.
Should've seeded a day 2 (I'm planning on going to the TV Tower next week, I can't wait!)

What I want right now, is advice for the day 2. what should my email talk about? How long? 1 sentence? 5? a mini-essay?
Should I invite her friends along, or should it be the two of us, or her and my friends?

There's plenty to do, it's shanghai! I need to do some clothes shopping, take some salsa classes, see the TV Tower (3rd largest structure in the world), do some gift buying (bartering is fun and I'm sure I could teach her some Mandarin)... the list goes on. Suggestions are great. I'm thinking it'll probably be something like get her (and possibly her friends) to rendezvous with me and mine at the tv tower. Or get her to meet me for some shopping downtown.

Below are my own personal notes for things to remember on the day 2. You really don't need to read them, but if you're interested in chatting about them, go ahead.

=======
Don't ask questions, guess an answer!!!! have a reason for why, and then find out the real answer.
questions ideas:
sports she plays. "Hockey, you're such a tomboy!"
"I bet you can't cook at all. you spend too much time dancing."
always IOD before kino escalation
if she busts on me, don't be flirty back. Freeze out, than compliance test, than reward compliance test. (tests? kino test (hands above yours, see if she follows you as you raise and lower your hands. try following this with a game of slaps.)
Bear story
maybe a story about estelle (a quebec girl who was one of my quickest and most intense highschool romances)
conspiracy theories (king and queen of bonbon, fuck kill marry)
vulnerability (first kiss experience, estelle story, beggar girl??? better not do beggar girl, too risky)
possibly a jealousy plotline involving one of the chinese girls who are teaching me english.
ground answers with backstories. (what do I do? well, when I was a kid, I always wanted to...)
K close: do you want to kiss me?
questions game, music game
=======

I expect fast responses on this guys, ESPECIALLY with something for the email. I NEED some advice on writing an email. Any and all help is much appreciated.

Your Wing and Brother in Arms,
Carlos

EDIT: She just made a facebook account and requested friendship! Hahaha, fantastic. Now to quickly prune my tagged pictures... and I'm good to go! tomorrow I'll accept the invite, and send a message starting an informal conversation about whatever. suggestions are MOST welcome.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 6:52 am 
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I don't have a huge amount of experiance in day 2 e-mailing (I would go for the phone call everytime) but I do think that continueing to impress her with your Chinese / local knowledge is paramount, because you clearly don't have a huge amount of attraction yet.

Take her out on her on to a nice restaurant (try M on the Bund, it's fantastic), but then send a mixed message by suggesting to meet up with her friends after that romantic dinner for two.

While you're out, be sure to make yourself appear interesting and in tune with the locals and completely comfortable at all times.

Good luck! Keep us posted on how this goes!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 10:20 am 
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Here's the message she sent me

Subject: HEY, I'm having Facebook ! LOl
I had you but I just want to know if you are the guy that I met and have a real great time together in Bonbon nightclub from Shanghai last saturday. Freestyle rocks !


I'm thinking I'll send her something like this:

No, I wasn't the fantastic dance superstar you speak of. But you really shouldn't have messed with his hair, c'est tres grossier! LOL, just kidding. How was the rest of your night? Mine was fantastic! The next day we went sightseeing in downtown Shanghai. Right now I have to go though, a bunch of us are heading to the TV Tower. We might try out cloud 9 tonight. Have you been there yet? How did you like it?
I've gotta run though, so I'll talk to you later.

Salut,
Carlos

PS: Get a cell phone! Quit living like a caveman! : P


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 12, 2008 10:54 am 
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sent the message, but I haven't added her as a friend yet. After her reply I'll add her. If she asks about it, I'll joke about it. "I'm not sure I wanted some crazy quebecois to be my friend, LOL : P"
If she doesn't meet up with us at cloud 9 (the highest bar in the world), I'll wait for her message and reply with something like this:

I'm excited, I just found out that the gym I've been using for the past week has salsa and breakdancing classes! J'aime Shanghai!
Have you tried any of the massage parlours here? It's so cheap, like 60 RMB for an hour. I went with my friends Amy, Allister and Joanne for back massages the other day. We had a good conversation with them, but I had to translate for my friends, vous ne parlez pas chinois.
Hey, I need to bring my mother back something really nice for Mother's Day. Any suggestions on where or what I could get her? She likes curling, cooking, and Oprah... I'm pretty sure I can find her some good cooking stuff here in China.

Have a good one, you crazy quebecois...
Carlos

What do you think, is the massage thing to risque?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 5:08 am 
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Here's her reply:
====
subject: Am I in the 21th Century ? LOL
Hi,
Emm, I will give you the phone number of our appartment and my mobile.
We are at home from about 6h30 PM to 10h30PM.
And the mobile use to be working but he is not the best that I have so if it said that it's closed it's because the battery is too low ! (Get low !, Get Low !!! ) LOL
Mobile: ##############
Home: ##############

P.S. I have to do a report guy'live from Vancouver in Shanghai because I am the new Bernard de Rome ! It's purely professionnal ! LOL I'm really kidding !
Enjoy your time to Cloud 9 in the jin mao Tower, we are suppose to go this week-end. It's a real beautiful place. If you want to see nice thing from Shanghai go on this internet site: http://www.smartshanghai.com/search/article/restaurants

I really have to work so have a great day ! Talk to you later !

(HB's name)
P.S. I know you loved that I have messed your hair, et c'est pas grossier, en fait c'est un excuse pour cacher que tu as aimer ca !

===
Can anyone read french? I'm thinking she's saying "It wasn't rude, you loved it anyway."

I don't really know what to make of the phone numbers. I guess she didn't trust me at the club. I suppose it's best just not to ask.

What do you fellas make of the PS? Is she asking for an "interview"? (Bernard De Rome is a news anchor). If she's already roleplaying that's excellent. I think she's saying she needs to do a report on me (a Vancouver guy who's visiting Shanghai).

What do ya think? Should I send the message I already composed? Or is best to go straight to phone contact? I don't have a cell, so I'd have to borrow a friend's or buy one...

Should I go for an "interview" (proper date) with her, or should I just get her to tag along when I go downtown window shopping? Should the day 2 be with:
Just her and I
her friends
my friends
Both sets of friends

Lots of questions, advice would be awesome guys!
Carlos


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 Post subject: the msn conversation
PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2008 6:18 am 
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she added me on msn. here goes:

! says:
hEY !
Carl says:
haha, ni hao
Carl says:
ca va?
! says:
LOL
! says:
OUI CA VA ET TOI
Carl says:
wo shi hen hao
Carl says:
ugh, I came to Shanghai so I could practice chinois, NOT FRANCAIS!
Carl says:
:P
! says:
hey
! says:
how are you
Carl says:
hen hao.
Carl says:
very good.
! says:
lol
Carl says:
I just found out that the gym I've been going to has breakdancing lessons!
Carl says:
I'm going tonight
Carl says:
and they also have salsa lessons on Thursday.
Carl says:
have you ever taken salsa?
! says:
no but I would like to
! says:
i never take dance lesson, I'm really not good.
Carl says:
You're right :P
! says:
i don,t have any coordination !
Carl says:
haha, a bunch of us are going on thursday at 7h30 PM, you and your friends should come along. It's 60 RMB.
! says:
it could be very nice
! says:
do you enjoy your night at cloud 9 ?
Carl says:
I ended up going on a cruise with a smaller group instead. I'm really glad I did, the tower was closed when they got there!
! says:
lol
Carl says:
Have you been on a night cruise? It's SO beautiful
! says:
no, we work all day
! says:
we do an internshi^p for 35 hours per week so we don't have this much time to do such thnigs
Carl says:
haha, I only have a few hours of class each day
! says:
i'm now at work and I do some technicals plan to make well the construction about some residential and luxurious house
Carl says:
I'm glad I'm not you :P
! says:
i really enjoy this job
Carl says:
that's good.
Carl says:
I'm just happy that I'm on vacation right now. Work is good, but I did WAY too much last semester
! says:
me too but now it's a bit like vacancy
! says:
but i was thinking that you were doing an intership too, maybe i was a bite drunk saturday ! lol
Carl says:
lol
! says:
sorry for this, but i have a real great time, i relly enjoy to dance
Carl says:
I have to go now, I'll send you the address for the gym later on.
! says:
ok thanks
Carl says:
salut!
! says:
salut la
! says:
bonne journee
Carl says:
merci beaucoup
! says:
t trop drole
====
What the hell was she apologizing about? Oh well. Hopefully her and her friends show up for salsa. My friends will be there as well, and they're an accepting, wholesome bunch. Best case scenario: Target comes, but her friends stay behind. I guess after salsa class we'd grab something to eat, than maybe head out clubbing. Or maybe it'd be better just to chat and bring her back to my hotel room. I don't know.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:50 pm 
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Whether she comes alone or with friends it doesn't matter. You're going to have to isolate her anyway. Be alpha and guide the course of the evening. Pay careful attention to how she reacts and you should know whether or not taking her to your hotel room is appropriate.

Hope this all works out for you!


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 Post subject: Carlos
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 9:49 am 
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Yahoo Messenger: jroamer18@yahoo.com
Location: Barcelona.
You are a lucky man to be in shanghai! :D

I heard that chinese girls are allover any western guy! :shock:

Any reports in that directio?

And let us know about the salsa clubs. :?:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:57 pm 
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My phrase since getting here has been "White is the Chinese Black." I keep ending up with westerners though. It's hard to practice game when your audience doesn't understand you.

I did just have an asian experience though, I'll post a lay report soon.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 3:01 am 
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Update: new FR: here-vp119961.html#119961


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 6:49 am 
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oh man i so miss shanghai =( my hometown.... if i was there i can totally get u laid hahaha.

unfortunately i knw there was a pua community back in the day =( but next time!!!


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 Post subject: you are all good
PostPosted: Tue May 27, 2008 2:42 pm 
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it seems she is interesting in you. all you have to do is take the chance now!


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