New to the forums but have been reading up on lots here for sometime. Got myself into a bit of a situation thats left me feeling pretty down lately, needing some advice from you guys.
This one girl and i have been together for a year and we just ended about 2 weeks ago. The first part of our relationship we always hung out together and never had any problems, and everything was all good. we even took a trip to Mexico and it turned out perfect. I'm a college student so during the school year she use to be really insecure cause i knew a lot of girls as friends but she was just always jealous, no matter how much i reassured her to relax. But the last couple months she would just get mad at me for everything, felt her opinion really only mattered and mine was always false. The last month she would end it and then when i showed i really didnt care and began packing all my stuff from her place she would change her mind saying she wanted it still. Finally a called her on some of the stuff she was doing to me which was her bitching at me for everything , and got mad at me for no reason here and there . Prime example : come over to her place and she asks me how my day was, i said great cause i did well on a test and she then said " i know you f ing are having a good day cause of your test im not stupid". yeah kind of stuff like that. Ive had people tell me she isnt worth it when she starts doing that kind of stuff, but we had a solid 9 months where we never fought and it was always good. she ended it that night when i brought up all of the stuff she was doing and then the next day i ignored her texts and calls all night and she freaked, leaving me messages in tears. then i called her the next morning cause she went on a vacation with family for a week. Shes back now but we havent talked that much and havent seen each other. I guess im not sure if i want her back, but part of me does want it to continue.

I guess being my question for all of this, what should i do? is there any shot that we can get back together and if there is, what should i do to make it happen? Would really appreciate some input from you guys, Thanks

Hey Scum, welcome to the forum. Anyways, I was in a similar situation to you about a year ago. I had dated this girl for 2 years, then she went nuts, was always depressed, and brought me down with her. I called her out on it, she broke up with me, then she would call me and try to get back together. Nonetheless, at the time we tried to make it work and got back together, which ended terribly once more.
Looking back, I now see that there was no reason for us to get back together, we were just both afraid of being alone I think. We had some great times when together, but we had no future together. I think you are in a similar spot. Deep inside you probably know that it won't work, but you want it to work so bad that you tell yourself it can work. Looking back, I wish that we would have just ended it the 1st time and moved on. Things would have become a lot easier had we done that... Hope this helps.

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Time to go to work...

To the original poster.

You gotta decide if you really want to be in this relationship. I'll be 100% honest with you it doesn't sound healthy or that its worth it. Seems shes a little boarderline personality but then again I can't assess that from 1 paragraph.

Anyways man its ok for her to be a little jealous that just shows that she likes you. My advice is to spend some time apart from her. Let her see how much she misses you. She seems insecure definitly and also her bitching at you seems unwarrented. Sometimes after dating for a while a girl will nit-pick at things because she really likes you and wants to make you a better person (like dressing better and cleaning your apartment and stuff that all of us 20 year old guys suck at doing lol) if that makes sense but it doesn't seem like she is doing that, her comments appear mean and immature and offensive.

I know you are in a comfortable phase with her and its hard to walk away especially from a great relationship and I have never told anyone to walk away and I never will but my advice is to evaluate this in your mind. TBH I would probably not put up with that. You should put her in her place that you will NOT tolerate these comments by a extended freeze out. Let her miss you some and see the errors in her way maybe that will make her value spending time with you more and being in your life and then she won't be such a bitch to you.

But if you start to have questions man your young realize that your only in college you are in no rush to get married or at least you shoudlnt' be you have loads of years left to meet someone so don't just settle but look to find someone that makes you happy and doesn't cause all this drama.

Again the decision is yours. My advice... freeze out for a while, re-evaluate and let her too.

seems like a damaging relationship. Cut it short, save yourself a bunch of stress and heartache and just cut your losses. It definitely isnt worth it. Or if you really want to try again, tell her flat out you want to be with a woman not an immature school girl so she better get her act together, and stick to your guns. but a lot of times when a relationship gets this deep into the shit house theres no going back, ive seen it happen many a time

This is going to sound COMPLETELY off the wall and random, but that's just who I am.

Yesterday after my situation I came up with a good analogy: Relationships are like a Bar of Soap.

You know how you keep using the bar of soap even though there's basically NOTHING left on it and you don't want to open a new one until you get everything out of that bar of soap? But then you get all happy and excited once you open that new bar of soap because of how much bigger/easier it makes lathering up everything .

Basically a relationship is like that bar of soap. People keep using the same relationship trying to keep it for as long as possible even though there's nothing left, but they're just too afraid/lazy to grab a new bar of soap (new relationship). But when they finally do come around they wonder why they didn't just toss the old soap (relationship) away for the new one (new girl).

Hopefully this helps/makes sense. It's helping me with my current problem .

Thanks for your guys input, good to hear different perspectives on my situation. I've put a lot of thought into it and what i want, but its hard when you have such a good thing for so long and it goes sour, you just want it all back. I've distance myself from her and decided not to bother with her until/if she decides she wants to talk.

Funny thing is, she somehow managed to get into my facebook account and reset my password... called her on that and never got a denial about it. Seems like the common thing girls do is freak out when thatguy thats always been there isnt anymore.