Hi guys...this is an extremely important question m gonna put forward to you (that's why i made a new topic obviously lol...) . So there's this ( or rather was) girl who is one year junior to me in HS. We hooked up for like 7 months and only broke up about a week ago. We had fun,sex and everything but we also had all sorts of fights and arguments on being untrustworthy to each other and all that crap. We had a 100 break-ups and patch-ups but just a week back i finally decided to call it a day as it was affecting my life in a negative way and was way too much stress to handle each day (fighting on kiddish nonsense). So..well whatever... at the early stages of our relationship i wasn't too serious about stuff but i think i really love her guys..She's really beautiful. Yes, u may say i got one-itis but after we broke-up i have already hooked up with two other girls and f-closed each of them but don't really feel the emotional bond i had with my earlier girl (she was to be precise an HB 9.5/10). I am having a real hard time forgetting her and do not want to sound needy at all by calling her/msging her after breaking apart.. So what is the way out guys?

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DJ The Great
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Time. That's about the only thing that will fix it. The amount of time can be reduced by keeping occupied with other girls and other things, but it still takes time.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

two does not equal ten. sorry, movin this to newbie board. quality control.

Break ups suck, Time is really all that can heal it. Also your in high school I know at this stage in ur life it seems like hte biggest thing in the world and I won't like to u i had a love of my life back in my HS days on and off patched up and then I got to college and I broke up with her by october the amount of hot girls there were.

TBH not a single person i've known of their High school realtionships are still dating or even made it through the first 2 years of college together, and almost everyone was where you are now with a high school sweetheart its good ur expereining this now becuase you probably will in the future as well but the BEST thing you can do for your head and heart is to fully cut communication 100% including AIM and facebook and whatever u guys are using these days.

About 1-2 weeks u'll alreayd be feeling MUCH better, but if u see her again it'll bring up a lot of feelings and it will start hurting agian. Move on when u can and have funa nd hook up until then. But trust me EVERYONE has been there and theres no magic pill to take to get over it.

Also I woudlnt' worry about antyhing serious at ur stage in life u still have many more amazing girls to fall in lvoe with.

One thing I learned was after a break up I was always like OMG i will never find anyone like this agian and then a few months go by and I would always meet someone new so trust me there are loads of other girls out there that u will fall for who are equally as hot and with the same great and better qualities then ur ex.

can i get a hand clap good reply

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Life's an Art

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu ... =382875915

Good tips all. I just want to add in my two cents.

Since being up in college, I have made friends and had my ups and downs. One time I was having a low time, and I had gone to my friend for help. We had talked for a little and I said "Well time will heal all...I guess" (as a few have already stated). She then turned to me and gave me some really great advice. She said, "Time doesn't heal all its what you do with that time that makes a difference."

I know right now you don't want to do anything. You just want to lay down and cry. But the best thing to do is to go out and keep living your life. Keep doing the things you love to keep yourself occupied and then one day you will realize that you don't think about her at all anymore.

Remember you don't need anyone to make yourself happy. YOU can make YOURSELF happy. Its such a novel concept and yet not too many people do it. I just had this realization myself that I can make myself happy. In fact, I've been trying to bring myself to the movies, just me. And I always come up with things I "should" be doing that get in the way of making myself happy.

I'm starting to ramble. Anyway, my point is to take this time and make it productive. Push yourself towards getting over her and eventually you will. And every once in a while go out and be self-ish and do something for yourself. You deserve it.

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Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

My God, Im really sorry to hear all this. I've been through it. I'm sure a lot of us PUA's have. Thats partially why we are here, right boys?

Listen to everybodies advice, and now listen to my reasoning. It will make you feel better because it is true.

Look man, to quite honest, you are the prize right? Yeah you love her, and she was great, but any girl thats willing to put you through that kind of shit, just isn't worth it. Right? Don't lower your standards or pants for a chick thats going to make youre life a living hell. Thats why I started focusing on SS, to help maintain control and leadership during relationships so that there wont be arguments and stress.

To be quite honest, you'll find love again. Its hard to believe but very true. Just don't lose sight of why youre in the Game, to find the "one". To find the best girl out there for YOU.

Like RJ says "Now, based on what I've said so far, do you think I believe
"love" is based on some mysterious "chemistry" that flows
between two people? Maybe it's caused by a butt-naked little
angel named Cupid who shoots an arrow into your ass?
No, Here's how people fall in love: First, understand you do NOT
fall in love with someone when you are in their presence. No.
You fall in love when you're off by yourself, thinking about
them afterwards. This is why it is so hypnotically powerful,
because you are doing it to yourself, and people are always
their best hypnotists".

But remember, don't lose sight of why youre doing this. To find a precious girl for you, the best. Don't turn into a cold hearted asshole because you got hurt, when you find the right girl, let yourself go then. Love again and do it right the next time. Learn from youre past relationship for your future ones.

AND... this is the last thing I'm going to say, I promise lol.
IF YOU REALLY REALLY WANT HER BACK.

DONT GO BACK TO HER AND SAY NO IF SHE DOES COME BACK TO YOU. Block her myspace, facebook, aim, reject her phonecalls, dont call her. If she comes crying back, initially say no and be like, "Why should I take you back? I appreciate you a lot, but you stress me out, and I dont NEED that in my life".

Like Mystery said, Women want to be appreciated but not NEEDED.
thats speed seduction for you. she will be whipped on your dick like kiddies on christmas. take control from this point on.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Great thread! Thanks guys, and especially Beschatten, Hopeless Romantic and Invincible!

My ex and I broke up like 3 weeks ago. Mutual break up, because there wasn't really this intense chemistry between us anymore. But I just can't get her out of my head right now. I don't really want her back, I just keep thinking about her. We haven't talked to each other really. And last friday, a week ago, I spotted her in a local pub/bar. I kinda ignored her completely, but she and her friends KEPT checking me. Every now and then she or her friends checked on me what I was doing. My buddy's and I had a great time though!

She's still in my msn list, and she can still see when I'm getting online. After we just broke up, she kept on initiating a conversation. I went on vacation and after that she initiated once. Haven't talked to her after that. Honestly, I don't want her back, BUT I am interested in COULD I get her back? (her coming to me). Do you have any advice?

Thanks again!

Okiokdan

I can't tell you what to do because I don't know the full story.

But if you guys broke up because of lack of chemistry, and you want her to feel a compulsive attraction to you. I'd say learn some Speed seduction.

But the normal thing to do is dont show you need her. Show her that you have social status without her, that you can have a great time without her.
Women don't want a guy that needs them, just appreciates them. Don't be a total dick, and if she keeps trying to intiate conversation, after about 3 or 4 days talk to her and have a ballin good time. Or whatever you guys do, whether it be lunch or dinner. Make sure she has a good time. If she tries and kisses you, say no. "I don't kiss my friends, and you're a friend to me". Youre intial answer to whatever she wants should be NO. Ask her for a reason to see you.

BUT. Don't count on this. If I knew the full story I could help you out but what I need you to do is get over her, sarge other girls, pick up women, and don't depend on her. You're not going to marry her. So don't waste youre time pursuiting it. If she falls onto your lap again, reconsider but don't depend on it.

This is all really hard to do if you love and care about somebody but it is necessary.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

Same thing happened to me not too long ago...i broke up with my ex of 2 years and the first 2-3 weeks were hard as f@ck!!! but what i did was go out with my friends to bars/clubs and i play sports so that also keept me busy..... also i went on a small 3 day vacation with my sister to New York. So if you can just try and get away for a couple of days and go out and meet new people.....trust me just distract yourself and dont think about her and ull be back to yourself in no time!!!

I am very appreciative of the fact that you guys took the time to help me out of this mess. I already blocked her from my cell's phonebook list, aim and various other communities/means of which she might have tried to get back at me. Earlier, we used to play the same game, block each other then either one of us would unblock and re-initiate contact...but now it has been a month since we had that breakup and the situation is obviously far better. My decision now is to move on..i am a PUA and i am a master of keeping emotions out of the deal...so it was kind of rare for me to bond with a girl like this...well I guess it happens to all of us at some point or the other PUA or not. Well as Beschatten said, "To find a precious girl for you, the best. Don't turn into a cold hearted asshole because you got hurt, when you find the right girl, let yourself go then. Love again and do it right the next time. Learn from youre past relationship for your future ones. " That's what I am going to do...I have many options but then again I never went out looking for love...Who knows what might happen in the future but yes I am not going to let my pants or emotions be vulnerable this time around...they were never meant to be...but then again....

Thanks a tonne you guys..

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DJ The Great
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I remember this stuff being hard to deal with in HS too, but it gets easier the older you get. Last time I was in a negative relationship where there was nothing but fights, it took me about three attempts to break up with her because she kept wanting me back. I wasn't sorry to see her go, to this day I don't really miss her, but then she was an 8.5, although a terrific fuck. I just had nothing but the negative stuff in my head. All I could think about when I thought of her was her possessive and moody attitude. Negative connotations about a girl can help you get over her. Hell, even a 9 has her rough points when she wakes up in the morning. If it helps, write down the negative stuff about her until you have a nice long list that will hopefully outweigh any physical hotness.

Well I am gonna write all that here so that for any guys dealing with the same issue/problem, this can serve as a source for happiness/contentment.
She was :
A shameless flirt.
An overpossessive freak.
A low IQ piece of junk.
Bad in bed.
Had a massive ego.
Was in all aspects a useless,worthless waste of time and a total bitch.

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DJ The Great
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amen.
im sure a lot of our ex's turned into those things lol.

i got out of a two year relationship and it wasn't so bad since i had other girls to fall back on. i never cheated on her but i kept a chemistry with other girls so that i could always fall back on them.

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I'm addicted to facing my fears.

One last thing to add although theres a lot of good stuf fin here.

If you broke up because you were a dick to her and too alpha and mean to her ignoring her is prob not the best bet in getting her back, especially if shes moving on with a rebound. There are times when a guy needs to express how he feels to a girl jsut don't come off too needy in that. But anyways thats the only time I feel a guy should ever let her know how he feels, at least u can say later on that u don't regret losing her becuase u couldn't do that.