Can't pull the trigger



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 Post subject: Can't pull the trigger
PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:13 am 
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So I've been in the community since whenever The Pick Up Artist aired. Over the months I've read the ebooks and did a bunch of soul searching. I've became more social, confident, and did the things I never would've done without the community. But I can't approach random girls in the halls. Its not that I feel the old approach anxiety but its like I can't follow through. Any advice for a HS freshman?


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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 12:55 am 
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What do you mean by "not that I feel the old approach anxiety but its like I can't follow through."?

- Chris 8)


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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:13 am 
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What I mean is I don't get that unsettling stomach feeling and a slight sweat whenever I see an hb but its like I'm on autopilot and I just go my seperate way instead of throwing myself into opening like I should.


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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:41 am 
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Thats the way I was when I first started out. I would go to a bar thinking I was going to sarge, and I just ended up drinking and going home empty. Finally I just forced myself to open a set. After that i have been doing nothing but opening. Some times I score a number, or K close. Other times I walk away with nothing.

You just have to force yourself out of your old routine. Make it your absolute top priority to approach and open a set. Then it becomes almost automatic, it did for me :D .

Joker


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PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 2:08 am 
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It's a psychological issue. Your old AFC self has beliefs which are conflicting with your current self. What you are experiencing is a very common phenomenon and can be helped by learning to communicate with your emotions. Basically you have unconcious memories and beliefs from your past and your body is trying to protect you.

Read http://www.infinityinst.com/articles/parts_therapy.html it will help you deal with the issues you are experiencing.

- Chris 8)


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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 9:34 am 
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Quote:
Thats the way I was when I first started out. I would go to a bar thinking I was going to sarge, and I just ended up drinking and going home empty. Finally I just forced myself to open a set. After that i have been doing nothing but opening. Some times I score a number, or K close. Other times I walk away with nothing.

You just have to force yourself out of your old routine. Make it your absolute top priority to approach and open a set. Then it becomes almost automatic, it did for me :D .

Joker
what the hell? you have just wrote in detail my current position haha..

will take the advice, semms pretty legit

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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 10:37 am 
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Well . . . there's that "force yourself" route. This is good. I didn't know why people advocated this until somebody wrote a thread about how many don't seem to realize that a "failed sarge" amounts to you chatting with a girl, her being not interested . . . and then you walking away. Nothing "failing" about it.

But just because you go home without a chat . . . this isn't a big deal either. But if you want to get better, you should at least exercise you brain. Injured athletes attend games not only to cheer their teammates on. They go because while watching the game, they either consciously or unconsciously visualize themselves. They see situations . . . this is a form of practice.

So if you just go to a bar and have a beer and come home. You've done nothing. But go in, scan around and visualize. Even if you don't do it. . . .think, "How would I open that one?" . . . ."There's a group of 3, who would I approach first? What would I say? How would they respond?" . . .

These are the things I do whether I approach a group or I don't. If there are 2 or 10 or 100 choices, I'd rather approach a smiley open minded happy group instead of a group that looks like they're fighting. I'd rather approach an attractive set than an ugly set. And you know right away when girls are looking . . .

Visualize yourself opening . . . chatting . . . thinking of how they would respond. . . . and how you would respond to that. I don't have to think of these things word for word but for me, visualization seems to happen instantly. During a sarge, everything seems to unfold as if things happened already. If you can imagine it . . . you can do it. Once you feel that "great scenario", just pounce on it. . .


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