| So I met a girl from online for a first date at a local bar. Its a nice martini bar and is typically the place I go for day 2's. I always tell the girl to wear something hip, as everyone there dresses "like they just stepped out of an Urban Outfitters catalogue." Anyways, she shows up wearing a funky scarf and is a definitive HB 9 (nice change of pace as online looks can be misleading). We hit it off great, and a one hour date turned into a 5 hour date. We vibed each other from the beginning, and it turns out we have an uncanny amount of things in common. Anyways, as the night went on we found out it was "Boyz Night" at the bar, and pretty soon the bar was packed with a gaggle of dapper gay men. By this point the HB and I were pretty close, and we both thought it was hilarious. We then figured I'd fit in better wearing a scarf, so I put hers on. Obviously, this sort of thing only works when you've connected with someone. Anyways, as the night goes on we're moving closer and closer to one another, and I'm beginning to get the sense that I can move in for a kiss. So I wait for a time when we're connected, (doggy bowl eyes), reach around and grab the back of her neck (patented move, I'll get to that later) and we make out for a little bit...then continue on like nothing had happened. Later on, a really annoying gay guy started talking to us (me mostly) and wouldn't leave us alone. So to scare him off the HB and I started making out in front of him as sort of a little game. Unfortunately, he didn't get the message (despite us doing this a few times) so we moved. When the night ended, she drove me back to my car and we made out for a few minutes before leaving. Serendipitously great night, through and through.
As I read many posts on this forum, I'm finding out that many guys have trouble with the K-close. Now, I've never really had a problem with this, and over the years I've developed a subtle technique that makes it pretty seamless. Here's a step by step:
1) Develop good rapport and escalate the kino (you've GOT to kino before a kiss, so she's comfortable with your touch. I figured everyone already knows this, but if not this step is vital).
2) As you're in good conversation, look for puppy dog eyes and whatnot and decide if you should move in for the kiss. You should be pretty comfortable with the girl at this point.
3) If you are seated in such a way that you are facing each other (or standing, such as when you say goodbye at the end of a date), wait for a pause in the conversation, give a sly smile, and reach around to cup the back of her neck and then squeeze ever so gently. As a side note, girls LOVE to be touched this way. If she's got long hair, reach under the hair to get at the neck and intertwine your fingers through her locks. As you do this, watch her eyes. If she looks like she's in a wonderful trance, gently pull her by the neck towards you as you also lean in for the kiss. The HB knows whats going on and likes that you are taking initiative.
If you are seated sort of side by side without facing each other, you've got an additional step. Gain comfort, and wait for a few awkward pauses in the conversation. During comfort, these awkward pauses can be a good thing, as they build tension. Furthermore, during these pauses the HB is typically looking forward or down, deep in thought. If you notice this, simply reach around with your opposite hand from her (in doing so you'll be turning your body towards her) and reach up and place the tips of your fingers on the opposite side of her jaw (side facing away from you), allowing you to gently turn her head towards you. She won't see this maneuver coming, but if you've done it right she'll close her eyes and lean in for the kiss. From there simply slide your hand back to the neck-cupping position and you're in business.
By doing this, I've never gotten rejected from a kiss. However, if she were to have a look of bewilderment in her eyes, I could easily use these maneuvers as additional kino without going in for the kiss. Maybe just massage the back of her neck a little and start a new topic of conversation. Again, I've never had to do this, but with this technique you can read the situation before committing to the kiss.
The overriding theme of this technique is that you are physically guiding her into the kiss. She is not surprised by it, which is pretty important because a surprise could lead to awkwardness that can potentially fuck up the vibe with a k-closable HB. Also, Mystery likes his kiss question routine, but I've never needed to use it as I think talking about kissing before you do it ruins the mood.
-Esperanto
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