well since im good looking i dont have to worry about most of what you said, but that doesnt mean i still dont have to work just as hard in the other areas of my life

im only 5'8", 155 lbs, but i've played sports my entire life and it has payed off like crazy

not trying to brag, but i have 8-pack abs, toned muscles for my size, and good social skills

but we are all here to improve and i've done so much since i've came to this site

well since im good looking i dont have to worry about most of what you said, but that doesnt mean i still dont have to work just as hard in the other areas of my life

im only 5'8", 155 lbs, but i've played sports my entire life and it has payed off like crazy

not trying to brag, but i have 8-pack abs, toned muscles for my size, and good social skills

I live in a posh area and this is really hard for me because you get to see all kinds of guys in their porsches and ferraris and stuff, and in the clubs I usually go you see really good looking people with style. You see 18 year olds in their BMWs with HB inside and club tables full of drinks and stuff.. Its hard to compete, but a few years ago I realized style is key and I have been focusing on that!

I was average looking in terms of body construction (not too short not too tall, not athletic, not fat, not slim) but I'm lucky enough to have a sense of style in clothes, which of course does NOT mean you need to pay a lot of money for designer labels, you just need to know how to combine clothes and colors.

CLIFF NOTES: realize I'm unattractive through life experience; then list adjustments I've made because of it.


I’m 28, and I’ve basically had to realize that I’m not that attractive of a person. I stand less than 5’9, but I have a slim build but I work out. I don’t have a classically attractive face, although sometimes it can look ok when I’m smiling. I’m the son of two immigrant parents, and the nationality I am is not at the bottom of status in Canada, but it is more of a lower status on. I’ve got the kind of looks where I can win someone over who’s attractive if:
-I get immediate credibility with a good word or intro from a credible source
-there isn’t much competition around competing for a target
-she takes the time to get to know who I am

Realizing that you’re unattractive can be a difficult thing to deal with. Society blasts so many sexual images at us (Maxim, Girls Gone Wild, Victoria Secret, MTV, Beauty and the Geek) and it makes you want to get up and go out and pound some Lindsay Lohanesque piece of ass. Then reality sets in and you remember that your just one of those guys who doesn’t have the looks or the Alpha-maleness to pull it off.

As the years have gone by, I’ve been more reminded of my place in the game of attraction, but it still hurts my feelings sometimes to be reminded. It sucks going out to the bars, and being too timid to approach women. Then the few you actually do get the nerve to approach – nothing happens. No signs of eye contact or interest from slutty or horny women. I’m just not that guy who visually stands out in an appearance based setting.

Rather than continue to feel sorry for myself, I’ve used my experience and knowledge to adjust for my lack of looks. I’m gonna share what changes I make, but feel free to comment or add to them.

Avoid situations where looks are empasized:
-I will limit my time in nightclub to only birthday or stag celebrations. The more time I spend in clubs, the more I’m reminded that I just wasn’t blessed with the strong genetics that women are searching. Online dating is especially based on your picture and looks. If trying to meet girls, I’d prefer to meet through friends of friends, where they can get to know me through my personality, rather than judge me on my looks.

-Take part in activities where looks aren’t emphasized. I play sports, watch movies, play video games and play poker. These games, you can take more value in your skill and just enjoy the activity, rather than be reminded that you’ll never be Brad Pitt. Endorphins from exercise are a great way to make you feel good.

-Avoid hanging out with pretty boy friends. The pretty boys will just take any focus women have away from you. I also have one friend who has to let me know of every situation where women are completely throwing themselves at him for immediate sexual gratification. He’s a good guy, but brags a bit too much. It just sucks to hear how easy it is for him, while I’m high and dry.

-Take the time that I’d use trying to pick up girl to focus on strengthening other areas of my life that will make me more attractive. I’m talking mainly about your career. Chicks love money. It is definitely a huge attraction point along with looks, height, muscles, personality, and status. Take the time to do better in those classes, or perform better on the job so I can get ahead and make up for my lack of being a pretty boy. Also, instead of focusing on going to clubs all the time, you can focus on hobbies and gain more skill at them. Examples would be golf, poker, bowling, video games, kickboxing, etc.

-Adjusting where money is spent. Rather than spending money on going out to the bar all the time, focus on saving up for a condo. Chicks are also turned on by a guy who has his life together. I’m gonna focus on being more achieving/responsible with my life, than being that crazy party boy. The party boy role works, but you have to have the looks/personality/expendable bank roll to pull it off.