Hi there,

first a little bit of context:

talking to a hb, she said she wanted to quit smoking, and she's psychologist. I told her that, as a good psychologist, she should know how to do it. She answers:

"blablabla you're like my father saying saying that as a psychologist blablabla"

What is that?! (she was negging me )

What would you answer to that? Now I think that the best thing to do would be just moving your head 45 degrees and paying attention to your friends.

Thanks!

Ab.

I think the best thing to do is to prevent this situation. I think when talking about problems, men and women are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Look at this forum, most of us have one or more problems that we want to fix, we want a solution for our problem. Women don't, they want someone who have sympathy for her problem. So, ask her how she feels about this problem, and what specifics she hates about it.

If you don't know what to say, heres a very useful question technique: repeat the last part of the sentence as a question. I saw this one on a tv show and it works perfect. When you reform the sentence as a question people tend to give you more information. I told a friend of mine about it and said:
ME: 'Well it's very effective cause she just continued the conversation'
HE: 'She just continued the conversation?'
ME: 'Yeah it....'
and i saw him smiling at me. It even worked after I explained it

So DON'T GIVE HER A SOLUTION. It's so weird but they don't wanna fix it. Ofcourse, this is a generalisation, but it's something to keep in mind.

Let me know how useful it is.

P.S. : normally it's a good thing when you look like her father... but in this situation it really isn't. Don't you remember how your parents keep on whining about your stuff? Clean your room! Do your homework! You don't wanna be that guy

Hey,

This is really situation specific but maybe -'Really.. your father? you mean like in a Sigmund Freud /Oedipus Complex kinda way? Assuming ofcourse she knows about Sigmund and Oedipus. But I'm guessin she prolly does cos shes doin Phsych. If not you can explain it to her maybe it'll be a DHV?

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“There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them.” -Tom Krause

hahaha, that one is good Ghulias. I'll send you and mp when I use this and tell how it went

The Sigmund Freud woudl have been really good, she's quite into Freud's Theory, a shame I didn't realice about the Elektra stuff

Thanks guys!

"then I guess you're like my Mother...?"

jajaja very nice thread!