you know what REALLY pisses me off? when the goddamn clerks ASSUME you're paying for BOTH. What the hell!

As for who pays, i split it, i don't like it when she pays for me because that makes me feel obligated. If she assumes you're paying, slap her with a "What, you don't have a job?" and continue paying for your portion.

I've been in this situtation quite a few times. Usually after building comfort.

What I find that works, 90% of the time,

is say something like "Okay, you get lunch and later this evening I'll take care of dinner"

make a joke during the delicious lunch, that later u'll be checking out the dollar menu at McDonalds lol or some b.s.

It works, I've had girls in the passed pay for my 2 week Hotel room, when I flew to visit them!

my $80 ticket vs. $450 in hotel costs.

Its probably the AFC in me, yet I still kinda feel bad about it, especially at the end of my stay she didn't have much moola (since that was part of her school $)

Ouch!

I would drop the whole convo until the bill comes up then u can argue about it again. It would make great conversation, but i wouldnt keep going on aim about it, try to switch topics when it arises again, at least until u get dinner.

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topdrawerexperience.blogspot.com

The fact that you are arguing about it, is you seeking a resolution to a conflict with her, that you feel can't be reached without her agreeing with you. You should have just let it drop as if you have already made the decision in your head that she is paying, or you are splitting it or w/e. Then cross the bridge when you come to it IRL.

She offered to pay for herself early on, why did you continue to argue to get her to pay for you?? That's just cheap. Unless you do what some of the others have suggested and offer to pay for something else later, why should she want to pay the whole bill.

It is a DLV to pay for everything, but it's also a DLV to not pay for anything!

well in the end we went half. the thing was i made the choice of us going half, but she kept sayin that its a date and that the guy should pay, everytime eithe rof us brought up meeting up she would say something about me not paying for her etc.

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'You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.' Albert Einstein

You guys are free to do whatever you want, but I will just add my opnion and feelings into this and what most girls feel hands down. I know that it is suggested in the PUA community that the girl pays even day 2 and if your going on loads of dates and such thats probably a good idea or even splitting it because we all got limited financials, but...

My opnion.

Guys always pays 1st two dates, girl pays 3rd, after that you can split it and do it evenly.

A good girl will always offer the first date to pay, actually most will I've never had a girl not offer to pay. Thats a game and a kind gesture you are not supposed to accept that its a test. I've asked girls about this as well and they all feel its really trashy to accept that offering.

Anyways thats what has worked for me. I've only gone on a few 1st dates when I didn't end up going on 3. I usually won't ask a chick on a 1st date if I don't think I will want to at least give her a chance to see what type of relationship potential she has.

A true PUA though probably wouldn't pay for his dates though its counter-productive nad if you can truely pick up and seduce girls then why would you need to ever pay they should chase you anyways, but if your going for the long term with a chick I think you should follow the social norm, but feel free to make your own opinions on this issue, but I truely feel that the above is the social norm, Hands down the guy buys the first date, which sucks for us guys but still its the norm we live in.

For demographic info i'm 25 living in NYC so maybe tis different at diff age ranges or countries but I dunno. In college nad HS no one really does dates its more going out and hooking-up with someone, most couples won't even go on dates until they have been hooking up for a while unless its date parties and u pre-dinner before that.

Holy crap I was just about to start this same thread.

On wed., I went on a day 2 with a chick I picked up from Borders for sushi.

She referred to it as a date during dinner. This, even though I invited her on the pretense that I was only going because I was in the neighborhood to pick up my guitar from being repaired.

When the bill came...there....was....this.....awkward silence. I was expecting her to at least OFFER to pay. She didnt say a word and just stared. I pulled out my credit card and paid, like an AFC.

What I learned:

You must frame the Day2 out of the traditional dating paradigm (it will not only make you stand out from her other options but will prevent these precarious situations).

Don't pay. Say that you don't like that tradition because it is sexist and assumed the woman does not have the resources to support herself.

Next time I promise I will not be paying!