I can apreciate your drive to want to learn more, however this post is about a very specific type of help. Im willing in this post to help with story's for the use of DHV.

Id be more then happy to help you in anyway i can, but i do not consider myself very good...i still consider myself new. While im willing to help, it has to be in apropriate ways...

Im willing to help people on these forums through PM and posts. Help yourself, read up on the material, ask questions about what you dont understand, and im sure the community as a whole will help you.

Feel free to PM me with direct and specific questions, also start posting these questions as youll get a wider range of answers to help you decide what to do.

Just to be clear i will not be emailing you and you may be served well to delete your post here as you just made your email publicly available, not to mention it doesnt realte to my post.

Stick with it, work hard, and im sure youll find these forums a useful resource and tool on your endevours.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

I came to the state I'm at right now Louisiana from my home state Maryland on a whim to attend a small private college. I get asked why a lot? I don't actually have that great of an answer. A lot of it was whim. How should I spin that exactly? I like to joke about how I'm a pioneer, that I'm living up to my immigrant ancestors things like that.

Well give me some more details and we can definatly make something of it. Explain what options you had and why this college stood out. Explain what your first day was like there, do you feel like you made the right choice? Stuff like this.

So far i see this being able to show your willing to take risks, lets see if we can have it express that and more.

Write back a paragraph or 2 and i will help best i can.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

To give the honest actual story I didn't really have any other options. I got into this school just barely by appeal. What had happened is that I had slacked off bad for a few years after high school and let things go downhill so then I finally got my stuff together and pushed so I could get into here despite my poor grades before it was too late for school. I'm about to graduate so its a good story in terms of showing I have some character to pull it together when it counted. Theres obviously some negatives there though that I would need to be careful about. When I got here I had completely underestimated the difference between the south and the north. People were crazy polite and thanked each other and held doors regardless of the sex. People who were strangers actually talked to each other in the street. I found this shocking. There were some negatives which I maybe shouldn't mention of course as well when it comes to race. I had completely underestimated the racism that was still here and have heard the n word more than in my entire life since I move. I had heard it maybe twice in my entire life before, down here...well... a lot more.

When I got to my room my roommate was a crazy Macedonian. The first question he asked me once my parents were gone was whether I smoked pot. He told me later that he had thought my moms guide dog was the police. My moms blind but I'd rather not use that for a pickup. He liked to tell me when he was or had masturbated. He was a hardcore atheist from his communist grandparents. We both had a strange position to some of the southerners around us. We had a lot of good intellectual type conversations talking about books and things. He loved Nietzsche and loved me for having read him. I think I made the right choice in going down and will have a college degree now pretty soon which was looking very doubtful for a time before I got accepted. I can talk about all the work load I've had too I suppose. Crazy amounts compared to what I had done before in my life.

Thats some stuff. Any ideas? Thanks for the help.

We are gonna have to work with this, it needs to be built up into a story...you definatly wouldnt walk upto someone and tell them your story the way you wrote it to me.

There is alot of excellent stuff here, you plight to do something with yourself is something many people go through and thus can relate to. The nutty roomate is classic and offers a bit of humor to your story. Comming out on top at the end with a lesson learned is excellent.

Heres my version:
"Well for a while after highschool i did what alot of people did...celebrated my freedom. I was young and stupid and spent my time partying and such. Then i realised one day that i wanted to do something with myself, i cut out the fun and games and enrolled in school.

It was a huge change for me, the south is sooo different. People were crazy polite and thanked each other and held doors regardless of the sex. People who were strangers actually talked to each other in the street. I found this shocking. However they also tend to be more racsist.

So everyone going to college has a wacky roomate story, and mines no different...my roomie was this crazy macedonian dude. Thank goodness he waited for my parents to leave before he started acting goofy. First thing he asked was if i smoke pot, then he started going on about how he thought my parents were the police because my mother has a seeing eye dog. Heres the gross part...any time hed masterbate hed anounce it like it was a fuckingparade comming to town, sooo gross.

However he turned out to be a decent guy despite his idiosyncracies. He was into literature and we had many intellectual conversations. Isnt it wierd how odd people like this crazy communist pot head are always the like neatest people to have convo's with?

So in anycase i feel like i made a really good descision, in a lil while ill have a diploma which i never woulda had if i hadnt gotten my act together. It took lots of effort and hardwork, but i did it. Im really proud and cant wait to see where the future takes me. Id just like to live the life i want, being social and having fun, and being able to afford to do so."


Well its a bit long, you might want to segment it a bit or maybe not...give it a try. By the way my brother went through a bit of what you went threw....replace the pot head roomie for the fat smelly roomie and you pretty much got the story. He went to Nashville for school and was allways talking about the southerners and such lol.

Just based on your story either my brother or myself could probably have hours of discusion with you because of this. Just remember when you tell a story you want it to be as linear as possible, otherwise people have trouble following it and become disintrested.

Try it out, let us know how it goes.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

Hey Ka, could you look at this story below and give me some pointers on how to improve on it. Perhaps rewrite it a bit if you think it needs it. Personally i think it might be a bit long, especially since im not so used to giving such an elaborate answer to a question. Oh and do not pay to much attention to the english grammar and spelling (i didn't), im going to translate it back to dutch anyway. This story would be a reaction to the question "What study did you do?". Im also working on another story for the question "what do you do for a living" (and other stories). Thanks in advance.

This may sound dorky, but I actually was one of these rare kids that liked school. I thirsted for knowledge and loved to learn. It did not matter what it was that i was taught i liked it. Always wanted to get a better understanding of the world. Whether it was physics, history or biology i enjoyed it. With history at high school we had this great teacher who could tell stories so well you would start seeing them unfold in front of you. Actually when i hade to write some rapport about the romans i literally copied one of his stories word for word in it. Apparantly i was not supposed to do that...
Anyway when i had to chose what study to do i had a hard time deciding what i wanted to do since id was interested in more than one possible study. If possible id done them all. Ultimately i chose for IT since working with computers and programming had been an hobby of me since i could write. So i went to the uni in Delft and graduated 5 years later. But I still enjoy reading about other subjects such as psychology, physics and history. In fact i want to travel to all sorts of cities to see their historic sights. If I had to chose a different career id be like indiana jones. He's got it all, a lot of travel, history and adventure.

_________________
About the name Xenu:
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007 ... ogy-p1.php

Hey Ka (is that a jungle book reference?). Love the thread! I've bolded all my questions for you. I've got a couple more stories I'd like to run by people, but I'll just submit them one at a time. Thanks again!

Story Skeleton:
* Snuck out to see my gf (parents hated her)
* Jumped her fence to go home, cutting through someone's driveway
* hear something behind me... HOLY SHIT, it's a bear!
* kept the car between us (it chased me around the car)
* I was on rear right corner, it was on front passenger corner
* suddenly, it pokes its head out from at me!
* I jump, the bear spooks, and barrels away in the opposite direction. it looked like 2 bowling balls in a sock flopping over the fence
* get home, call gf in hushed tones to tell her not to go outside for a smoke.

My Version:
OMG, I almost died in grade 12! I was leaving my highschool sweetheart's place late one night. As usual, I'm feeling on top of the world. There's something about the night air that just energizes me, y'know?

I jump the fence and cut across the neighbour's driveway. As I'm passing the last car, I stop cold. I'm not sure what it is, but something's making my hair stand on end. I look to my left and lock eyes with one of the biggest black bears I have ever seen.

We're both stock still for a moment... and then we both JUMP into action. I get the car between us. It (should I use he/she?) stares at me, and starts coming around the car after me. I keep the car between us. We must have went around the car 3 or 4 times.

Then, I'm by the car's rear right corner with the bear staring at me from the front left corner. Suddenly, it's went from there, to peering around the rear corner at me! I don't know how it did it, I didn't even see it move!

I'm startled, and jump a bit. The bear's like "HOLY SHIT!" turns around, and barrels away, over the fence into my gf's yard! it looked like 2 bowling balls in a sock flopping over the fence.

...and now I have no punchline. ideas:
Moral of the story?
Don't go to your gf's to make her chicken noodle soup without a shotgun.
bad dancing scares bears
black bears are scared of white folks

Maybe I could say it got scared by my cell phone ringing, and then have a punchline like: Moral of the story: Shania Twain (or some corny/wimpy/90s singer) scares the hell out of bears!


what you think about using present tense in the story?

Hey how's it going? As of right now I have no DHV stories. Whenever I'm out what inevitably comes up in conversation is the fact that im an American studying in Australia. What made me decide to come to Australia? How do I like it so far? That kind of thing.

I came to Australia because a) I have never been here before b) its good for my major c) the people speak english.

Obviously this is bland and needs to have exciting details. What kind of direction should I go in?

I need some suggestions to actually start making this into a story.

Perhaps talk about the struggle of going somewhere totally different and making a whole new set of friends in a foreign place. I started taking martial arts and have been doing that religiously.

This shows dedication and perseverence. Trying new things, never giving up, etc.

Thanks for the help.

Xenu, Carlos, and GC ima get to you guys. I prefer to answer peoples posts in this thread with the utmost hast, however i will be busy for the next week or so. This type of activity happens rarely in my life, so i apologize, however i will respond within about a week.

Thanks for understanding guys.

**for anyone else looking for help feel free to post, ill answer the messages in the order i receive them...like i said ill start responding agin in about a week**

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

No problem Ka, take your time. Your help is most appreciated.

Couldn't agree more!

_________________
About the name Xenu:
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007 ... ogy-p1.php

great post! i like ur support man u deserve that rep

_________________
"don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

Hows this story for

Willingness to Emote –

I remember when I was really little, I was just doing my homework one day and my dad suddenly rushes in my room and is all excited, Vicho ven afuera ay un pato, so I just kept sitting cause my dad had done this before. This one time he put a duck statue in our backyard and he told everyone in the house to go outside and to see the duck and we all thought it was real haha. Anyways I decide to go outside and I see for my first time in my life a mom duck with a bunch of little ducklings walking behind her in our private street. Haha you saw like 7 duckilings behind her and then one little duck trying to catch up with the group by hopping, it was pretty funny but then I noticed something weird It had one of his legs hurt and that’s why it was jumping his way to his family. After a while he couldn’t keep up and just ended up on the ground squirming itself up. The mom left him behind and man… that shit hit me. I went to check up on it and it was chirping non stop, I guess he noticed his mom left him. I took initiative and went inside my house to look for a box to give it a home in. When I went outside I saw this hawk just brutally attacking the little duck. It was trying to kill it or eat it, I got freaking mad I ran to where the duckling was and scared the hawk off. And the dumbass hawk flies up in the tree just waiting for me to leave to continue. Anyways the little duckling is really hurt and I put him in the box and go inside my house. I suddenly get these thoughts about raising it till its full grown and taking care of it as a pet. I was pretty happy and I began feeding it bread while I was doing my homework, Oh I forgot I named him. His name is Walter the duck. The little duck looked really hurt though and it kept chirping in pain and was just lying down on the box. It went on like that for 4 hours and I don’t know it hecka touched me.. it was suffering a lot. At that point I knew there was nothing that could be done… it was too late for walter. An hour later Walter stopped chirping and moving, I thought he had fell asleep, but really he was in heaven. It was sad, I was already thinking of the future with Walter and well he never had a chance and I just started crying…

Im kind of bad with emotions, how did I do overall?

First off, I'm a very positive guy...but I've got this one little issue. I'm just going to spill it out. I've discovered that I have a real gift for languages and i lived a year in russia.
I'm a caucasian american and it seems like barely anybody cares about other countries or foreigners in the u.s. ...or when i talk about them, I feel like i'm completely alienating myself from them and like they think I'm way too inside my head. I feel many (american) people getting very jealous, including most of my family, so I almost never talk about anything like that with americans and sometimes lie to avoid it...Now, it's even gotten to the point that I barely even care that I know them and I feel like an outcast sometimes. I don't want to come across as a nerd, although I'm definitely not anymore, and i even feel guilty for making ppl feel jealous. I have plently of friends now, although the vast majority are Russian. I have dated lots of Russian girls both in Russia and ones that have immigrated to the u.s. But I find that I have relied too much on my linguistic ability and until now it has kept me from improving my actual game. Although I'm more attracted to Russian girls, I feel like its cheesy to be going out with just them (they're easy for me and they like me just cuz of my assosiation with russia/my russian) and i want to attract everyone. Also, sometimes I wonder if the fact that most of my ex gfs and friends are russians will hinder my DHVs...(Although they're all americanized and lived most of their lives here). I wonder if ppl will think that I'm hanging out with and dating them because I can't get in with americans, although it's not the case. By the way, some ppl call all russian girls bitches, and it seems that some actually consider them easy and low-class...

Okay...I need help making DHVs out of these. Thanks a mil

School:

Basically my major is now linguistics and computer engineering. My real passion is associating with foreigners and languages. I speak 4 fluently and two more skillfully. My senior year i lived abroad in Nizhniy Novgorod, Russia in one of the coldest winters there in twenty years. I finished my credits and got my diploma there. Also, I went to the Linguistic University there and studied French and Japanese. The reason I turned to computer engineering is that I want to make the best language learning program in the world, kind of like rosetta stone, only I am extremely confident in my abilities. Otherwise I'll do some programming, maybe for Rosetta Stone, and use computer languages, translating human languages at the same time. I learned the languages almost completely on my own time, without class room instruction and found my own ways to learn them. My first foreign language which i taught myself was Russian and after a year of studying in america i was fluent.

Work:

I work at Savemart right now (its a west coast supermarket chain like Ralies, Albertsons, Luckys) as a service specialist, where i also translate Spanish and Chinese. At the same time, I am just starting another job getting signatures from registered voters for petitions, or whatever they're called. Soon I hope to be accepted for an internship working with computers which would be much better than my current job. In my job i stack and move stuff and bag. I talk to ppl a lot. Lots of pretty girls...but it's really boring and i hate the whole superficial, overpolite way every one talks to each other. It makes me sick. In my influence in Russia i learned the value of being upfront with people. That's one of the most important things i learned there.

I've found that wearing shirts with russian writing is good for peacocking. I have had girls ask me what they say and then never actually tell them I'm trying to think up some more ways to peacock...besides souvenirs, like cool russian hats. I absolutely love travelling and big cities, although i've just been to the us, russia, and an airport in Germany.

Sounds like a good story, the hard thing for me here is the language barrier. Since you will be telling it in dutch its not gonna be easy for me to re-word this as when you translate it, it will change.

but heres how id re-write it:
"I was always intrested in culture, the way the world works, and science. Ive always loved learning, call me wierd, but i just absorb the things around me. Actually i had a teacher, you know one of those 'never forget thier names' types that come once in a lifetime and really influence your being...he really helped push me.

The thing that made him stand out was his story telling. As a history teacher he could paint a picture with words, making you feel like you were in the middle of a war, or living in a castle like a king.

In a way im mad at him because he opened my eyes to soo much that it made it hard to decide what to pursue in college. He was one of those people who made you realise that you CAN do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it. I actually went into IT, but if i had to do it all over again id probably be alot like Indiana Jones, traveling the world and exploring...maybe even getting into a bit of trouble."

To me the story you told was more about your teacher and less about your education. At least thats what grabbed me. They way you expressed it was as if you were telling 2 different stories.

This story can be very visual if you want it to be, especially the middle paragraph, take her by the shoulder and point into the distance as you tell it, as if what your explaining is right in front of you.

Hope this helps, hope the wait wasnt too long.

**NOTE: to the rest of you guys ill be addressing your posts shortly, thanks for being patient**

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."