| I'm a lucky guy as I'm blessed with fantastic looks. I'm told on a weekly basis that I look like Leonardo Dicaprio, and have been mistaken for him (two girls asked me for an autograph once- if only I'd had some PUA skills then!). When I was a bit fatter people thought I looked like Chandler from friends. I've also been told I look like David Beckham. Yes, this sounds unbelieveable but I assure you it's true. Looks aside, I'm a very sensitive guy who thinks alot about stuff. Having come from a interesting background (I'm half English half and Scandinavian) I find it hard to totally integrate with just British groups of friends. I'm more at ease with people who have varied backgrounds from different countries, or whove moved around alot. I've never been good at sport, like football etc (apart from snowboarding), and I've always been a huge dreamer. I've got a healthy sex drive like all men should have, and I'm very musical and creative.
My big reason for being interested in the PUA scene is to learn more about what's possible to achieve with women. I was in a 4.5 yr relationship with a special girl since the age of 21, moved in together at 22. To be honest, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost weight, got really happy, learned new things. I felt she provided an entirely new opportunity for growth and self-development. However, she wasn't really into music like I was, and didn't really have a creative side like I did. We based a lot of our lives around eachother and I finally got frustrated. Looking at porn, dreaming of being a cool single guy again. Eventually plucked up the courage and dumped her (ouch- it was NOT easy). We had to carry on living together for a while (about 6 weeks to be exact), whilst we looked for new places to live. She found somewhere pretty quick (she was always the organised one), and I took longer to find somewhere and had to move back to my parents for a month.
As soon as we'd split up, however, I achieved a massive high state of being. I immediately bought new clothes, looked the shit, wanted to party whenever possible, led all conversations and social groups. I could walk into a bar and have so much energy that all the girls would stop and look. I went to a club in Edinburgh on my own one night. I was working up there and had seen posters for Groove Armarda. I was looking cool and had a couple of drinks, sitting watching people. The music got good and I decided to have a dance. Suddenly out of knowhere a hot chick came up to me and started dancing with me like I was a pole in a strip club. So seductive was the dance that some girls that were dancing around us had a look of surprise on their face. This girl suddenly dropped to her knees and started to bite my erect penis through my jeans. Enough was enough I almost had to push her away fearing humiliation on the dance floor. Seriously, it was too much! I was actually put off in the end, but left amazed at what had happened.
Another example was at a party that a friend had arranged, around Christmas. I went alone, dressed in a suit (it was a black tie event). I was hoping to score that night but there were too many people I knew and friends of friends. One girl was very much up for it, but I didn't find her attractive and decided a strategic "no". When the party ended, I hung around for a taxi, half-hoping to meet some girl and go back toghether. This seems to happen surprisingly often. As everyone left, I got chatting to a blonde girl with huge breasts. After a 5 minute conversation I asked her where she was heading. She said home. I was staying at my cousins large flat at the time. I pure and simple said "would you like to stay at mine? I could do with the company". She said yes and jumped right in a taxi with me. I fucked her from behind the next morning. She loved it! Drove her home afterwards as she had to go to work and lived quite far. She texted me after begging for more.
After this "high" episode, things went downhill, bigtime. I went from being confident, happy and at ease with women, to being totally down and depressed. I obviously had to move on with life, find a new place to live and needed to make a "fresh start" with life. I met a cool guy who was new to the city on an accomodation finding web site, and we proceeded to look for a two bedroom flat together. This would be my chance at a fresh start in life and the chance to be a bachelor again and also make new friends. However, we didn't manage to find any suitable place for a suitable price and I ended up getting cold feet over the whole thing. I was worried that I might regret moving in with someone I didn't know that well and pressures from work were also prevelant during that time.
Meeting a friend of mine for a coffee, she said she knew someone who had a room going in a shared house. I went to meet the people and see the room, it was a nice room and at a good price. The people were a bit older than me and more established but they liked to party apparantly and seemed nice so I took it. However, I found it very hard to make friends with them and I got more and more anxious about the fact that I had missed a huge opporunity to live up my life while I could. I started to see my ex again as I was feeling so down, and she was the only person that provided soothing. My anxiety was sky-high for months, because I felt that I hadn't totally moved on and I was "in the middle".
Reading PUA information has made me very frustrated with myself for not moving on, but I've recently decided that I need to "accept" what's happened so far, accept myself and my qualities, and not stress about the fact that I might be missing opportunities to fuck women. Fucking is fantastic, but I'm very dissolutioned with the PUA targets and with my own life. By joining this forum I hope that I can at least meet some people and have some interesting interactions.
I'm still confused about what to do with the ex, but I don't have the courage to ditch her and our mutual friends, and "change" into a new PUA type personality.
Looking forward to chatting to you all.
overPlay
Last edited by overPlay on Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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