So I've been gaming this girl since last Saturday and have seen her twice (each time spent approx 4 hours hanging out). She clearly likes me and I have done things well to this point, but I get to work this morning and have the following email from her.

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SUBJECT: It is so good - Its gotta stop!!

EMAIL:
Hey! Hope all is well!!

Just wanted to say that it is scaring me ... my heart has put me into so much trouble before and I don't want to hurt you or get hurt.

We both know that we cannot date, we cannot go out together and we clearly are not just friends. I am also not the type of girl who can just hook up randomly and have some fun. I haven't done it in my past and don't want to now. (I do not imply that you thought I was at all). I generally and specially now just like to think ahead and consequentially so in summary ... I wish you all the best with your work and future plans! Enjoy your time with your visiting family and spoil your aunt more than she deserves.
Take care xx

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I've never implied that faith/religion was an issue for me. I'm thinking that a quick response won't hurt as if I don't respond she will think that I don't care or am angry with her or whatever. The quick response should convey that its OK and that I am cool with just being friends.

Do I CONTINUE to game this or NOT? If it doesn't continue at least I learned something from it, but I am more interested in knowing that if my game had been TIGHTER, would I still be getting this type of resistance.

Thoughts?

thats tough man, iv never really encountered that to that degree. if i were you, i might try getting her out for coffee to explain what she means since you "dont understand". then do what you can from there. otherwise i dont really know what to tell you, she seems pretty adament, but the only way to salvage this would be to reframd the situation, and realign how she percieves you.

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"He is god, he will understand. And if he does not, then he is not god, and we need not worry."
http://pickuplabs.com/blog/ Pick-Up Labs, lots of cool shit guys, free!

Sounds like she percieves the relationship as a short term one with no future. If you are able to make her realise that you don't plan out the length of your relationships, you merely enjoy them to their fullest, with the hope that they last, then she might change her mind.

If you don't want to make this a long term thing and you aren't interested in expending this much energy, then LJBF her.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I think you're right. If I LJBF her, will I still be able to game any friends of hers that I potentially may meet down the road? Or will she likely cockblock me?

You can game her friends. She chose to be friends with you and she has shown that she is interested in you, she just doesn't see the relationship going where she would like a relationship to go at this point in her life. She is now social proof and pre-selection when he friends come into play.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Ah of course, I guess I was thinking that if she was STILL interested in me when/if I did meet her friends, then she would try to keep me to herself as opposed to letting me get hooked up with her friend.

For a Day 3 can I ask the girl directly out? I know she's dying to go to a comedy club and I can get tickets for either Wednesday/Thursday. I don't want to use the "I'm going to this venue, you should come" though it might be a better way of approaching it, I actually don't know anyone that wants to go. Could I say that I'm going with friends or whatever, and then day of, say that my friends cancelled?

I am thinking it is probably best to call her and ask (and make sure I add something funny in about us just being friends). I know there will be resistance so I don't want to get rejected either. I actually wouldn't mind going to the comedy club and plan to just be cool and not game her too much at all.

I will assume that once you reach a certain point with a lot of rapport, then you can just ask direct. Not sure if I'm there yet with this one as I'm sure her guards will be up in all directions.

Yeah you can. To be perfectly honest, if there is enough rapport going on, you don't need the "I'm going here, tag along" excuse for a day 2.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I figure I need more face time with this girl ASAP in order for her NOT to forget about me, whether or not I LJBF or pursue her. Its also a test for ME to see if I can get her out again as she will definitely be RESISTING the meeting. When the whole topic comes up about it never working between us, I need to try my best to control the set, and convey that I am TOTALLY cool with just being friends and that she shouldn't make such a big deal about going out with me, when all we're doing is just HANGING out.

So here's what I plan to do.

I will call her tomorrow evening (NO email/SMS, as that will make it easier for her to say NO to my plans). I am certain that I will be able to get her 'live' on the phone. Talk fluff for a min or so and then go on to say:

ME: We're going to Yuk Yuks, which day works better for you? Wednesday or Thursday?

HER: Blahaha, but we can't hang out because I like you a little tooo much, blahaha

ME: We're just FRIENDS! thats all, besides you got me all excited about it after talking about it over the weekend. There's also this guy performing this week only and I hear he's real good! I'm going... and YOU'RE coming with me.. Wednesday or Thursday?

HER: BLAHAHLHA (Not sure if I will still be getting resistance at this point, but if I am I have to be prepared!)

ME: If you're lucky, I might just buy your ticket aswell. (WEAK I KNOW!, but I need to buy the tix online!)


You guys get the drift, I'm hoping she doesn't get too caught up with whats on her mind, and agrees to go. I know it'll be a little tough, but this should be DO-able! When I take her out of course I plan to keep it COMPLETELY platonic, and just be confident and be myself and treat her like any other friend.

This should of course then go one of two ways. First being, she's cool with being friends and continues to speak/hang out with me so that I can hopefully meet more of her friends over the summer and GAME THEM too! Or Secondly, she begins to move in on me because she can't control herself and views me as such a laid back guy who is totally cool and understanding that she can't help herself but BE ATTRACTED to me.

If she tries to make a move on me at Yuk Yuk's.... well I have to say. "Remember we're just friends, lets try and keep it that way.. blahhha" and smile at her and switch topics or something...

BOTTOM LINE, as mentioned above, its in my best interests to see this girl ASAP, because if I don't she will begin drifting very quickly and lose interest in me.. (I mean we've really spent only 8 hours together over a couple dates, right?!) And I thought Yuk Yuk's would be the best place as she's dying to go and it will be a different and exciting environment for her.

What do you guys think? Its the best plan I could come up with.

Drifter99, it seems to me like the Yuk Yuk's idea is just horrible. Comedy club? C'mon bro...Take her to a strip club, I'm telling you. She will get turned on and perhaps you can then F-Close her in the champagne room. She sounds like quite a slut so I think my method will work perfectly...

Don't be an idiot.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Drifter man, you're getting a better idea of what to do, but you still need to change some things.

First, don't ask her which day works best for her, just say that you're planning on going to Yuk Yuk's on wednesday or thursday and she'll tell you which one works best for her when you tell her she has to come along to see this guy that is only gonna be there for the one week.

Secondly, don't tell her you'll buy her ticket, just like you don't tell a girl that if she's good you'll buy her dinner.

Third, I wouldn't mention the friends thing, because that just makes her think more about it. If she starts making moves, then you tease her with your body language, but you don't bring the topic up in conversation.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Thanks Rye. Good points, I was only planning to bring up the friend's thing, ONLY IF she brings it up and tries to resist the meeting. Obviously the strip club idea is horrible as that will defin get me thrown out of the game with this particular girl.

Ok to continue this... damn I'm defin learning a lot with this one. In the past I likely would not have been able to even secure the Yuk Yuk outing after all thats happened.

I spoke to her yesterday and was confident (actually she had already emailed me prior to me calling her.. prob missing me! hah) in my conversation and we're going to Yuk Yuk's friday.

I already know what I'm going to do, which is be TOTALLY cool and platonic... It is VERY IMPORTANT that I don't get caught off guard in any way and do anything close to a K-Close.

I still haven't decided whether or not I want to pursue the F-Close with this one (and if I do, I've got a pretty good idea on how I will go abouts with that, obviously not on Friday, but I'll save it for another post though).

MY QUESTION: If I were to F-Close her at some point in the next little while.. would it be possible to still LJBF her afterwards? And still be able to GAME her friends down the road?

Yes as long as you don't end it ugly. People often remain friends after a short term relationship and if she thought you were good, just not right for her, then she will encourage her friends to be interested in you by talking about you to them and saying good things.

Remember that although you are going to do this all acting platonic, you continue to use kino. You put your arm around her waist, because you are her friend, or your hand on her lower back, arm around the shoulders, hi fives, all that stuff that isn't sexual, but is still touching. If you stop touching her now, then you will be friends, if you continue to touch her, then it's open to possibilities.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye