So i came up with a theory about why naturals seem to do so well with women. Keep i mind this is an opinion post...

Ive seen personally examples of this and have also seen posts or heard people talk about it. My cousin for instance seems to have women seek him out, and i could never understand why.

Way back in my AFC days i chalked it up to him maybe being more attractive physiclly then the average guy, later i decided he just "had it" and others didnt.

Now i understand his real power....his social skills, particularly in the long run. Im not talking about BL, or his words...im talking about his long term actions. Essentially what it amounts to is his long term building of his social circles.

Most naturals are people who have grown up thier whole lives getting positive results. They essentially start thier social lives earlier and take it head on. They invest a ton of time and energy early on to build it up, and then keep it up to maintain or achieve more growth within these circles.

Alternatively for alot of us, or the AFC, they have comparitively invested small amounts of time in thier social lives, started later off in life, and do not have as many friends and circles to interact with.

Take my cousin again as an example...hes been extremely social since as early as elementry school. As early as middle school he was going out with groups of people to the movies or a friends house. By the time he was in Highschool he was dateing more seriously and had already established a few different circles of friends.

Moving onto college hes got a large group, already has experience with building his social circles up, and has the skill set to meet and bring new people into his circles.

After college he maintains an active and social lifestyle, going to the gym (the social hangout of the new mellenium), away on the weekend to visit people. He almost never sits around and does things alone. If i had to guess id say he spends at least a solid 40+ hours directly engaged in social activity.

So thats an important aspect of it...Naturals build up thier social circles very large, often times being able to divide it into many sub circles.

Another important part is that they become a predominent figure in all thier circles. They typically either have a stronger frame or choice to socialize with people whom have a weaker frame then them. This allows them to be the leader and alpha within these circles.

So they have large circles that give them many social oppurtunities, and they lead all these people which proofs them through the roof when out with them.


The idea here is that if you want to have your game headed in the most natural direction possible start working immediatly on meeting new poeple, pulling them into your social circle, and making sure you maintain an alpha status withing these groups of people. Keep building it up and it will help immensly.

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

Your theory seems to make complete sense to me. Actively seeking out social encounters/situations will of course aid you in achieving whatever goal is desired.

My question is how come some people choose to be as social as possible, some balance between people/isolation, and some choose to be totally isolated?

I'm very confused as to my situation...it seemed that i've been counter-intuitive. Growing up i was a known star of all sports from elementary school through high school...and yet after the games instead of seeking things to do that night...i'd happily come home and practice my guitar for HOURS upon HOURS.

When that MTV show "dismissed" came out...i had about the whole cheerleading team wanting to play that game with me to see who "I'd" choose and who would get to be with me. For reasons beyond my knowledge, i had ZERO interest in this...and laughed at the idea but thought i had more important things to do.

Now a days i'm seeking social encounters and rather be with people more so than on my own....makes no sense to me. Now my question comes back around to...why on earth do some people choose to indulge into such scenarios and some don't? Why is it that all of us on here have at some point "preferred" isolated activities and now are confronted with this grandiose change in our desires? Why do now a days it's difficult to learn something for the sake of knowledge w/o thinking "how can this help me DHV"? Can't say i'm happy with that. Just my ranting..

Some of it im sure is genes, a good part im sure is environment (upbringing)...

Im much the same way, i actually used to do fairly well with girls all through highschool and into college. I had many circles of friends. There was always a part of me that was just as happy being alone as being with others tho. Actually my biggest issue was becomming addicted to anti-social activity (video games) and for years avoiding social interaction because of it.

I think some people are more independant then others. I dont mean this in the pay your own bills kinda way, i mean emotionally. My cousin for instance is odd if you isolate him from others. Me on the other hand i need a break from people.

Ive grown up "learning" that the only one i can count on for emotional support is myself, whereas he has had a supportive structure around him. This propbably has alot to do with it as well.

But this is what make naturals different...they actively seek out and actively expand thier social interactions and circles. They almost crave social interaction in a way. Im not saying we all have to be obsessed or crave it...but we need to build up our social circles and have that same "environment" to allow us to achieve things on that level.

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-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

Biologically, introverted peoples' brains are over stimulated so they dont need to seek stimuli from outside, but extroverts are under stimulated. Everyone seeks a moderate level of stimulation, which explains why introverts tend to keep to themselves while extroverts need to bring up their level by seeking outside stimulation from the people around them.

It explains why people who like to take risks such as skydiving are always seeking those kind of situations. They need the stimuli.

(A little something I picked up in Motivation)

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"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice