Can you appear over-confident



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:16 pm 
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Hi

When ever I see a women I haven't met before I look straight through her if necessary - never divert my eyes if she looks. I make an approach if appropriate.

I had an experience with someone at work and would be interested in feedback.

The company where I work is quite large - so I don't know everyone. Meet new people all the time.

Anyway, I was going into the kitchen and a young 20something beauty was there. I looked - she looked and quickly looked away.

I got some stuff out of the cupboards, looked out the window and commented on the change in the weather (I am in the UK and for once it wasn't raining). I looked over as I spoke and something quite amazing happened. She sort of looked stunned and stood around for a little while and then walked off. didn't say a word.

Was I being too intimidating? Is she just scared of men. Has she been manhandled by men in her past.

It amused me a little.

Would be interested in anyone's comments.

ds


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:26 pm 
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I believe that beeing verry confident is never a bad thing.

However there is a difference between beeing confident and showing confidence. Showing confidence is often associated with social value, when your social value is to high compared to the target , she will feel intimidated by u. Thats why u should always try to scale your lvl of confidence against that of your target. (nicely explained in the MM-VA handbook p157)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 10:25 pm 
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That could be any of a million things and I doubt that even if I had been there to witness it, I would have enough information, because she didn't respond in any way and it sounds highly unusual. Some people are just shy, so that may be the issue. Don't read into things so much without any evidence to support.

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