Guys OK, so I again could be reading too far into this but here is where this thing stands. So we spoke briefly on Tuesday, 5mins, (I met her on Saturday) she says she will call back, she doesn't, well of course she could have been busy , etc... So on Thursday I have yet to hear from her sooooo I send her a text:

"hey, i'm heading to blahablah place tmrw nite for a bday dinner, you should pass by if you're free"

and I get NO response?

WHAT HAVE I DONE INCORRECT ? Like I said, I thought we hit it off, I don't understand WTF i'm doing wrong? I'm almost certain that I haven't conveyed neediness as I haven't even had the chance to actually properly have a conversation with her on the phone. What are my next moves, if any? this makes noo sense?

Text is only good if you have built a good rapport. If you haven't got that rapport, then it is very easy for her to lose any interest she had previously. You lost ground the last time you talked to her on the phone, so now you're texting her, which is something you can do when you've gained a BUNCH of ground, so it just doesn't make sense.

This is the exact same thing as if you are trying to collect money from someone that owes you. If they don't desire strongly to pay you back, then they will take every opportunity to delay it, or not do it at all. So you don't leave a message on their voice mail, you talk to them directly and maybe you call from a different phone to make sure they aren't screening their calls. Sure that can be extreme, but if you're just trying to truly decide if she's avoiding you, it becomes instantly obvious if you've called her and she doesn't answer, so half hour or so later, you call from a different phone and she answers after one ring.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

OK, point well taken. Unless I have good rapport, don't use text. I should have called instead, but sending a text such as I did can’t be that bad, can it? I’m a busy guy with a busy life, and I didn’t have time to call her so I just sent a quick text as I am heading to this party tonite and thought it would be cool if she passed by or whatever, as we had a good time last weekend… correct?

I'm realizing GAME is needed for EVERY SINGLE woman, even when a girl says she doesn't like to play mind games or whatever. Bullshit! They all do.

Any as I am writing this post, she has just sent me an email, sounding really excited by the tone of her email, and apologizing for not calling,etc..

What are my next moves?

I'm really new to this, but I was under the impression that saying "You should stop by, if you are free" is a sign of neediness. That's what i came to. It shows that you don't have anyone else to go with, and that you are resorting to a woman that you haven't known more than a week and haven't talked to in 4 days.

It just seems like you are taking away from the DHV that you've built thus far, and that you are not showing any pre-selection, thus disqualifying yourself as an Alpha Male, since you asked in a "nerdy" way rather than to say something such as...

"Hey, I'm going to this place tomorrow for a little bit of a bday party, and seeing that you haven't taken your opportunity to get me, i figured I'd take you. What time should I pick you up?"



Am I wrong?

Sorry I just started learning last night.

I'm sorry Drifter, but you've been given advice on how to proceed, but you seem to want a step by step guide. You aren't going to learn anything. This girl isn't special, so just use the knowledge you have and your instincts and experiment. If it doesn't work out, then it's not a big deal, you move on to the next girl. THAT'S how you will learn.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I agree. Nothing will be learned that way. I defin appreciate your guys input. So today's Sunday, we exchanged some emails on Friday afternoon, I got her interested by neggin her a bit and by telling her that I might still let her take me out if she behaves herself, etc.. which got me some interesting responses.

So we went out last night, and right when we get to the resto/bar, she starts talking about the fact that she's a cultured girl (she's christian and I'm not), blahaha, and that when you meet some people in life, you just end up as FRIENDS? Anyway, so I basically say "its all good, thats cool " something along those lines, and continue on with the evening. Long story short, I still end up K-Closing (alot!) and while doing so I don't let things escalate too much (she starts calling me a tease, etc.) and then I drop her off and that's that. I basically wanted to leave her wanting more... right?

Anyway any thoughts on why a girl says lets just be friends and then still ends the night making out with you? Is it a test (when she says it, the guys get weirded out, etc..) ?

Sometimes it's a shit test and she wants to see how you will react, whether you will show increased interest and neediness, which would be the wrong approach. I can tell that you didn't do that, you were unreactive and just went ahead as if she hadn't said anything, which worked. GOOD JOB!

Some times a girl will think you are going to just be a friend, then through the night she realises you have potential for much more and so you end up becoming more. With the delay of getting together, the texting instead of calling, etc. interest was probably waning, but then you built the attraction back up again and look what happened. This is exactly why I was telling you not to text and email, because this is what happens and then you have to work harder to get her to the point you want.

Good job with keeping her wanting more, now next time you see her, take it a step back from where you were when you left off and built it up and escalate further.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

To continue.. I'll try and make this short. I would have likely AFC'ed in this kind of girl in the past so I am curious as to what this girl is actually thinking about me.

I call her early evening, get no response (she had asked me to send her a SMS the previous night after dropping her off, which I forgot to do), and then receive a SMS shortly saying that she was in the shower and will call me in 20min. She signs the SMS msg off with a "xx" which I noticed has become 2 hugs whereas last week it was only one "x". I know its an extreme detail but I think it has relevance as it seems to be showing me that she's obviously becoming more interested.

She calls me as she said she would and tells me she had a great time with me and I respond with something along the lines that I too had a good time with her (I probably SHOULD have followed with some sort of a neg)... and she then says "Ya thats the problem (in a giggly/awwing kinda way), but we'll talk about that later". This I THINK of course referring back to the whole thing with her thinking she could never really get close as she's so cultured,involved in her church,etc.blahaha (obviously thinking she would PREFER someone of the same faith, but most are prob always AFCing around her. lol, so whats a girl to do, right?)

Anyway convo continues well after that for 5-10 mins (I obviously didn't respond/react to her statement and simply switched topics).

She's leaving in about a month for work, and will be gone for about 6 weeks. I REALLY doubt I'm getting one-itis for this chic (I've come a ways from AFC, hehe) but I would like to F-Close and get her hooked to me (that's where David Shade's material helps!) so that when she leaves.. she comes back still wanting me, and even more. This is almost a test for myself to see if I can do this. I also want to do it without having to lie to her.

My next steps are to continue ignoring her statements regarding the whole friends things, and continue demonstrating Alpha-male qualities, and get to know more about her and her whole faith thing (this will show her my open-mindness,etc). I'm assuming I need to F-Close her soon to have this go the way I want it to. For any newbies (including myself), don't let a girl tell you it won't work b/c of faith ,etc.. if you are a cool enough alpha male she will still prefer you to the other men of even the same faith because they are probably AFCs and do not know how to seduce her and please her!

Use the stuff you have learned from David Shade to develope a sexual frame with her, but remember to do it in a way that is just a natural progression of conversation, don't just start going into sex talk if she isn't following you there.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Yea of course and the reason I am saying that it needs to be F-Closed as well is because otherwise when she leaves, the whole connection could slip away.

I get to work this morning and have the following email sent to me.

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SUBJECT: It is so good - Its gotta stop!!

EMAIL:
Hey! Hope all is well!!

Just wanted to say that it is scaring me ... my heart has put me into so much trouble before and I don't want to hurt you or get hurt.

We both know that we cannot date, we cannot go out together and we clearly are not just friends. I am also not the type of girl who can just hook up randomly and have some fun. I haven't done it in my past and don't want to now. (I do not imply that you thought I was at all). I generally and specially now just like to think ahead and consequentially so in summary ... I wish you all the best with your work and future plans! Enjoy your time with your visiting family and spoil your aunt more than she deserves.
Take care xx

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I've never implied that faith was an issue for me. I'm thinking that a quick response won't hurt as if I don't respond she will think that I don't care or am angry with her or whatever. The quick response should convey that its OK and that I am cool with just being friends. If I leave it off like that, then I think she STILL may call later in the week, saying "I dont know what to dooo.. blahahah".

She obviously likes me.... so should/do I CONTINUE to game this or NOT? If it doesn't continue at least I learned something from it, but I am more interested in knowing that if my game had been TIGHTER, would I still be getting this type of resistance.

I'd be unreactive. "Alright, I truly enjoyed your company and had hoped to continue seeing you, but if you aren't up for the risk of heartbreak associated with romance, then you can be my friend."

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

Sent her the above response and got the following response immediately.

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HER:
Too high risk! You know ...
We will definately stay in touch.
You are so chilled and understanding. I love it!

Thank you xx
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Great line Rye! Though there is obviously still a lot of resistance. It appears that it will be difficult to get her to a 3rd meeting. What I am thinking is if I am able to get her out (in a totally platonic way), take three steps back and not make any moves. When we do hang out again, take her to an exciting place (I know she's dying to go to Yuk Yuk's). Continue DHVing myself, and show that I am confident with who I am, and that I am not phased by her not wanting to pursue things further. And if it happens that we have some drinks and she tries to make a move on me, to politely turn her away, and say "Remember we're just friends."

I would like to continue experimenting with this.